Parenting --Teens/ALL ALONE


I was wondering would you please tell me: is it a fact that some times teenagers want to go places without their parents?

If the answer is “yes, it is a fact” would you be able to explain to me why is that?

(P.S would you please try to give your answer in a easy way that I can understand)

Dear Cameron,

Are you kidding me? I can count on one hand the number of children in their teen years who actually WANT to go places with their parents. Most people ages 13-19 would almost always rather be alone or with their friends than with their parents.

These years are the "becoming an adult" years. It is the time we grow from being dependent children into becoming contributing adults.

It is important for children to learn to navigate the world on their own. In fact, it is critical!

Think about what would happen if none of us ever grew up. How would you like to be a 45 year-old man, still living in your own room at home, having mommy make your dinner and daddy pay all the bills? Your parents by then will be in their 70's or 80's. Who will take care of them?

At age five most children separate from their parents. They enjoy the freedom of seeing they are different from them, and learn that they can accomplish things on their own. Tying their own shoes and going to school for the first time are milestones at this age.  

By age ten, children are able to do most things on their own, and even babysit younger siblings or the children of others. For many, tending children is their first job. They make money keeping younger children safe. This helps them learn responsibility.

At thirteen, you are no longer considered a child, but an adolescent. If your parents taught you well, you will already know how to buy a bus or metro ticket, ride from place to place and not get lost or feel afraid. You will be able to order food and pay for it yourself. At home, you may already have the responsibility of cooking one night per week for your family. You should also know or be learning how to do laundry, care for pets or livestock, and grow a garden. Keeping your room clean and vacuumed should be something you have done for years. You should also help to vacuum and dust your home, and keep common areas clean, too.  

By age sixteen, when you have free time, you will want to go to movies, dances or other activities with friends, and without your parents. You will be learning to drive a car, work and earn money, and pay your own car insurance. You will enjoy a trip to the woods or a museum by yourself or in the company of friends. If not, I would be very concerned about you, and suggest perhaps you need to speak with a guidance counselor at your school.

Families give us roots, it is true, but good parents also provide wings. Everyone must leave the nest and learn to fly on their own one day. Wise parents will teach these lessons early.  

Parenting --Teens

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