Parenting --Teens/My 18 year old son
I'm single mother, with a companion (man) living in the same home. My 18 year old son, who is a senior in high school and planning to attending college. The last two years I have been really going through with the bad altitude, being disrespected, talking back to me and so on. when i ask him to clean his room, clean the bathroom ,take out the garbage, just basic cleaning, I'm asking more than three until I have to yell and scream. When I scream at him about help keeping the house clean, then he respond back to very disrespect way. My companion stated I should not do anything for him for being so disrespectful.I asked my companion to talk to him. My companion said he don't want to get involve because i never follow through with anything. I don't know what to do?
ANSWER: Before I answer the question please tell me if your comanions perception of you is true, have you failed to follow through?
I need that answer to better respond to your question.
---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------
QUESTION: Yes it's very true what my companionship . Very hard at times to follow through with tough love. The older he gets the worser he has gotten over the years. Its to the point where I don't want him livong under my roof.
How ever difficult the situation is your need to follow through, after carefully considering the options is very important. You will need to take a stand and then have a plan that you and your son can follow. that plan must have very specific demands on his behavior and your behavior as well.
My advise is to think very seriously about life in general and how that life can be improved for both you and your son. Your companion can play a role but it should only be a minor role of support. The companion may be part of the problem but I don't have enough information to make that determination.
After taking the time to think about what you want, sit your son down and tell him you want to discuss some very important life changing subjects with him. If he refuses you should have a contingent plan that will take that into account. An example might be if he refuses to participate he has one month to move out....
You will need to communicate your frustrations and your hopes with your son. you will need to describe your love for him and your hopes and dreams for him and how you want to help but only under very strict circumstances....then outline the plan of behavior that you will both have to agree too.
this is not an easy discussion to have. It may end badly but you have to remember that what is worse? continuing on like it is or moving on to the next stage of life.
I wish you all the best. but please remain calm, never raise your voice or say anything out of anger. let your son have time to digest what you discuss.