Expert: Mary - 2/19/2004

Question
my 9 yr old sons mom is dating for the first time in his memory (its always been only mom and him) and the relationship seems to be taking off between mom and her new boyfriend. My son is very jealous about this new man in his life and is showing  her a lot of anger and defiance. Im his Dad and i have been married since before his first permanent memories so my wife has always been in his life. Because of this he has always been close to my wife and loves his step mom. Butthis new man in his life seems to be something hes just unwilling to accept.we have both tried to talk to him about his feelings and have been somewhat sucessful about getting him to talk to us about his feelings. But the anger has not abated and we are looking for practical tools to deal with this issue. Any help you can offer is appriciated.
Thanks,
Dave

Answer
Your son is feeling rejected and has alot of hate about
his life.  He doesn't know where he stands and is afraid
of losing his moms attention.  Deep down he wants his
life to go back before mom met this new guy.  Maybe try
talking to him and get him to open up.  He needs to let
his anger out before he goes over the edge.  Also he
should have a talk with his mom alone to sort things out.