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Parenting --Teens/Questions Answered by Expert Susan P. Esptein
| Subject | Date Asked |
| Teen Stealing | 9/8/2011 |
| Q: My husband and I have been married for 25 years and have 4 beautiful children that we love dearly. ... A: I see how frustrating and disturbing this must be. I would schedule a family meeting and without ... | |
| grounding | 3/22/2011 |
| Q: is grounding an effective punishment? A: I don't think that grounding is an effective punishment in it self. More effective is to assign a ... | |
| desparate dad | 3/7/2011 |
| Q: I'm a father of two wonderful kids a boy and a girl. I was separated in 2008 and divorced in 2009. ... A: I hear how worried you are about your daughter and your relationship with her. Kids react to divorce ... | |
| BATTLING teenage sons | 2/22/2011 |
| Q: my 2 teenage sons--14 and 17--are CONSTANTLY at each other. After a divorce in 2002 and a marriage ... A: You do have your hands full! Your situation is fairly complex and I could not possibly answer or ... | |
| Teen and school | 2/14/2011 |
| Q: My second daughter is a very smart and bright student, however for a couple of years we are having ... A: Sometimes it is difficult to motivate kids, especially when it comes to school work. It could be ... | |
| 11th grader with no motivation | 1/4/2011 |
| Q: My wife and I are at our wits end with our 16 year old son. He is making passing grades in school ... A: I can see why you are very concerned. Without having more information it is difficult for me to ... | |
| My 18 year old son is directionless and clueless | 11/13/2010 |
| Q: I raised him as a single mom until he was 12 and I married. My husband takes no interest in him and ... A: It is time to add some structure to your son's life. Career/job coaching, Americorp, apprenticeship ... | |
| tired of yelling! | 10/19/2010 |
| Q: I have two boys 13 and 14 and a 5 year old girl we home school and have for 8 years I started home ... A: Yes, things seem to be chaotic at home for you. There is a lot of emotion flying around your house, ... | |
| 17 Yr Son out of control | 10/12/2010 |
| Q: My 17 year old stepson has moved in with us over the summer to complete his senior year and continue ... A: While this is a difficult time and I feel your frustration I wonder if your punishments will drive a ... | |
| 15 year old has diminished social life | 10/9/2010 |
| Q: My 15 year old son was always very social. He suffers from ADHD-combined. Recently he switched from ... A: I can imagine how it must feel to watch you son's frustration and disappointment. As a parent, you ... | |
| rude teenage daughter | 10/3/2010 |
| Q: My daughter is about to turn 16 in Nov. My biggest concern is that she is verbally abusive to her ... A: So sorry for the delay. Sibling conflict is very common,however there are a few things you can do to ... | |
| 6 yr old son with behavioral issues at home | 9/9/2010 |
| Q: .My son is 6 years old. Id say in the past year he has started a behavioral problem at home.. he ... A: What you are describing is fairly common and most parents struggle with making time outs work and ... | |
| Isolated Teen, Compulsive TV Habits, Substance Abuse, etc. | 9/2/2010 |
| Q: My 16.5 year old son is totally ISOLATED and does nothing but watch tv/video games alone. He has a ... A: Although individual therapy may help, I highly suggest you get Family Therapy with someone who knows ... | |
| 18 year old daughter..... | 4/28/2010 |
| Q: I have an 18 year old daughter that will be 19 soon. She graduated last year a happy, athletic, ... A: Sorry for the delay! I suggest that you make an appointment to go for family therapy. It is ... | |
| overprotective about facebook | 4/23/2010 |
| Q: I'm 13 and I just got a facebook last night. I was really excited and thankful towards my parents ... A: My advice would be as follows: Trust takes time and your parents are, for whatever reason, concerned ... | |
| Teenage daughter wont get physical | 4/22/2010 |
| Q: Susan My 15 year old daughter abhors any kind of physical activity. She comes home from school (gets ... A: Sorry for the delay! This is more common than you may think. You may have to intervene big time. I ... | |
| Teen daughter smoked pot | 4/22/2010 |
| Q: My 15 yr old daughter recently told me that she has been smoking pot since Feb. I was and still am ... A: First thing I would do would be to go on the internet and download some teen friendly information ... | |
| Teen daughter smoked pot | 4/21/2010 |
| Q: My 15 yr old daughter recently told me that she has been smoking pot since Feb. I was and still am ... A: Tanya, Congratulations that your daughter confided in you! Please do not punish her...no need...she ... | |
| APPROACH TO COUNSEL SON | 4/14/2010 |
| Q: My son is 19 and studying engineering, staying in a hostel. He is very intelligent and did well in ... A: Your son is 19, living on his own and making poor choices. When you speak with him, it is important ... | |
| My 13 year old daughter | 3/29/2010 |
| Q: I need some advice, badly. Alittle back ground. My daughter's father lives in SC, she sees him ... A: I can see how difficult this is for you. Your daughter is struggling.She is clearly looking for ... | |
| How to parent my college student who is using Marijuana | 3/22/2010 |
| Q: Last year my eldest son's first year at university. As is the case with many freshman, he embraced ... A: Everything you have done so far is on the right track. When you talk to him be clear about your ... | |
| Bipolar 1 | 2/24/2010 |
| Q: My daughter is 16 and is diagnosed with Bipolar 1 with psychotic features. She has been in the ... A: Sorry for the delay but I wanted to do some research before I answered you. I think you have tried ... | |
| Bipolar teen and mom | 2/23/2010 |
| Q: I am a bipolar mom raising a recently diagnosed bipolar 16yr 11mo son. I also have an 18yo and a ... A: The number one thing that is so hard for ANY parent to do is to not take what their teen says to ... | |
| lieing and stealing | 1/29/2010 |
| Q: My granddaughter stole $300.00 from me. I found out her mom took her to get a tattoo .I told her she ... A: Your granddaughter is crying out for help. Like you said, she is hurting because of the relationship ... | |
| NIECE | 1/24/2010 |
| Q: My 14 year old niece, who is bipolar, has come to live with us. Her life with her parents was very ... A: I know that this is extremely stressful. I also know that your niece is running the show and nothing ... | |
| Have no motivation or chanllenge himself | 1/23/2010 |
| Q: My son is 14. Shy, smart, talented, mellow and have no opinion on anything. My biggest struggle with ... A: This is frustrating! I want you to not let him off the hook. "I don't know" is not an answer. Be ... | |
| Teenage Daughter in College | 1/11/2010 |
| Q: My daughter is a freshman in college and has to go back in a couple of days for the second semester. ... A: Have you asked your daughter if she would be willing to speak with someone at school? Most colleges ... | |
| out of control older teen | 8/28/2009 |
| Q: my daughter is 19 y/o and has been a hanful since she was 14. She barely passed high school and ... A: Sorry for the delay. You sure do have your hands full. My best advice would be to write out a ... | |
| My daughter | 8/27/2009 |
| Q: When me and my ex-husband divorced, my oldest daughter took it very hard. She shut down and started ... A: It is not too late to help your daughter be successful. You will have to set up expectations and ... | |
| 12 yr old boy with acedemic and social problem | 8/18/2009 |
| Q: We have 3 boys. All three are as different as they can be and special to us for that. My youngest ... A: I think that the school owes you more and legally they have to help determine why he is struggling.I ... | |
| Teen won't visit a therapist | 8/11/2009 |
| Q: I know my 17 year old son should see a therapist but he refuses to go. I made him go last year ... A: This is frustrating. It's hard to reach teens sometimes and we can't make them. What we can do is ... | |
| Stepson | 8/3/2009 |
| Q: I divorced my husbamd and I started dating and recently I remarried (i have 3 girls with my ex ... A: It is really important that you speak with your husband about his son and about your fears about ... | |
| Bipolar Teen | 7/31/2009 |
| Q: My nearly-16yr-old son is bipolar. He is quite stable on his meds, and displays typical teen ... A: I apologize for the delay! What do you consider typical teen behaviour? If you mean disrespecting ... | |
| 15yr old teenage girl uses bully tactics on her 8yr old sister | 7/22/2009 |
| Q: I am a grandmother bringing up 2 grandaughters-8yrs and 15yrs..Since birth I've had my 8yr old, my ... A: First of all, kudos to you for stepping up to the plate and giving these girls all your love and ... | |
| my 19 year old daughter and responsibility | 7/16/2009 |
| Q: I have a 19 1/2 year old daughter who has a 4 year old son with ADHA and other issues. I'm not sure ... A: It appears as if your daughter is not mature enough to raise her son. It might be best for all if ... | |
| took in husband's 3 teen siblings. | 7/14/2009 |
| Q: I will try and keep the question light. We took in my husbands 3 teen siblings. Ages are 12,13,14. ... A: You have taken on such a lot! And I admire your perserverance and committment to these teens. One ... | |
| DAUGHTER & STEP FATHER'S RELATIONSHIP | 7/5/2009 |
| Q: I have a 13 year old daughter. She has been apart of my husband's and mine relationship since she ... A: There is no excuse for disrespectful behavior. Your daughter cannot be allowed to treat your ... | |
| help with a 20 yr old who seems to have regrested to a younger age. | 7/4/2009 |
| Q: My husbands son has just come back into our lives. He is now 20 and the last time that we had this ... A: I think that this is difficult because you are (being overly understanding:) He is twenty! So.. Get ... | |
| educational neglect? | 6/29/2009 |
| Q: My problem is that I have a teenager who has been defiant, trouble with cutting herself in the past, ... A: Go back to the school and request an educational evaluation. This comes under the federal law ... | |
| my 17 yr old son | 6/28/2009 |
| Q: My husband and I have one child who is 17 yrs. old, our son has been a good student, honest, until ... A: Sorry for the delay. For some reason this did not reach me when you sent it. Sometimes teenagers ... | |
| 12yr Old Daughter - I'm at my Wits End | 6/25/2009 |
| Q: My 12 yr old daughter who will be 13 this July has in this last year, 7th grade, become so ... A: It is clear that your daughter is out of control and needs limits from you. Part of what is going on ... | |
| my daughter and her boyfriend | 6/24/2009 |
| Q: This morning I left the house to go to work. As I got to work, I realized that I had forgotten ... A: It's important that you keep the communication going. Her safety should be first and if she is ... | |
| Concerned about 15 y.o. son | 6/22/2009 |
| Q: "My 15 y.o. son has always been very reserved and although he is well liked at school, has a 4.0 GPA ... A: Some kids prefer to keep to themselves and do not seek out friends. But you are right, he will need ... | |
| 13 year old daughter | 5/29/2009 |
| Q: I have a typical 13 year old daughter. Rude, ungrateful, obsessed with correcting everything I say, ... A: You can be a good mother who will not tolerate disrespect to your face. Part of what is going on is ... | |
| Step Son continuously stealing, very bad strain on marriage | 5/28/2009 |
| Q: please help. Not sure what to do anymore. My step son is 18 years old. He is very fragile, ... A: This sounds completely overwhelming. Your family does need family counseling and it is not normal ... | |
| Teenagers and lying | 5/24/2009 |
| Q: My daughter is 17 years old, a good student, musically gifted and generally all around a popular, ... A: When consequencing your teen, ask yourself, "what am I trying to teach her?" Does grounding her ... | |
| almost 18 year old daughter, cheats, lies & manupulates | 5/21/2009 |
| Q: Our oldest child is about to be 18 years old in a few short weeks. Though we have been consistent ... A: Just saw your response..sorry for the delay. My best advice is to keep at it..the conversation, ... | |
| Teenage son with much older woman | 5/21/2009 |
| Q: I'm hoping you can provide some kind of answers for me. My 18 yr old fell for his co-worker almost a ... A: The more you fight it the angrier he will get and the more rebellious. If you can stand to back off ... | |
| almost 18 year old daughter, cheats, lies & manupulates | 5/20/2009 |
| Q: Our oldest child is about to be 18 years old in a few short weeks. Though we have been consistent ... A: You sound really worried about your daughter the impact on your family and what the future holds for ... | |
| teenage son | 5/19/2009 |
| Q: I have a 15 and a half year old son whom I have always had a close relationship. This past year his ... A: The question is...do you see that your son is sexualizing you? or is this only because your b-f is ... | |
| Teenage daughter and her attitude towards mom & stepdad | 5/10/2009 |
| Q: My daughter is almost 18 and is graduating in a few weeks. Her father & I are divorced and I am ... A: There is a way you can stop her disrespecting her. And it is very simple...but takes patience and ... | |
| 11 year old daughter is so out of control | 5/6/2009 |
| Q: I really hope that you can help as i really dont know what to do. When i split from my ex husband ... A: I am sorry you are going through these troubles. Here are a few things that you can do right away: ... | |
| 19 year old son, alcohol abuse | 5/4/2009 |
| Q: My 19 year old son has always displayed classic symptoms of ADD/ADHD - fidgety, can't concentrate, ... A: You are right. Is does need to come from him. You may need to stop supporting him and this will be ... | |
| 19 year old son, alcohol abuse | 5/4/2009 |
| Q: My 19 year old son has always displayed classic symptoms of ADD/ADHD - fidgety, can't concentrate, ... A: So sorry that you are going through this difficult situation. I think he needs to be in an ... | |
| My 14yr old Grandsons behavior | 4/11/2009 |
| Q: We have raised our grandson since he was a baby,and until the age of 7yrs he was a lovable little ... A: You are right. Your grandson is out of control and you have tried to be understanding and also to ... | |
| effective punishments. | 4/10/2009 |
| Q: My name is madison and i am fourteen and a freshman. Recently , because of my four C's in school, my ... A: I usually don't give advice to teens (mostly parents) but I wanted to write you back for a few ... | |
| high school senior moved out | 4/8/2009 |
| Q: Our 18 year old senior daughter got mad and moved out. She moved in with her boyfriend's family and ... A: I would advise you to go to her and do everything you can do to get her to come home. You need ... | |
| Custody | 4/7/2009 |
| Q: My 15 yr old daughter has split time between her father and I(every other week). Her father suddenly ... A: Mary, If your daughter refused to go, what would happen? And...can you get her a court appointed ... | |
| Custody | 4/6/2009 |
| Q: My 15 yr old daughter has split time between her father and I(every other week). Her father suddenly ... A: This sounds like a very stressful situation for you and your daughter. Does your daughter legally ... | |
| 13 year old and chat rooms | 4/5/2009 |
| Q: my 13 year old daughter is all ways on my computer so one day she put it down for a sec to go to the ... A: I don't think this sounds safe at all. At this age she should only be chatting with kids she knows ( ... | |
| 16 yr.son | 4/2/2009 |
| Q: i am a single parent. my relationship is increasingly more distant with my son and i tried to talk ... A: Teens don't want to "talk" about relationships. We have to show them instead. Your son is probably ... | |
| marijuana abuse | 4/1/2009 |
| Q: I know my 17 yo is smoking marijuania now what do I do? ANSWER: Dear mm, You know he is smoking. ... A: Tell him to write you a 500 word essay on Marijuana and the teenage brain. He does not use the ... | |
| marijuana abuse | 3/31/2009 |
| Q: I know my 17 yo is smoking marijuania now what do I do? A: You know he is smoking. You tell him this is not acceptable and tell him that he has to stop. Tell ... | |
| Options for Troubled Teen | 3/27/2009 |
| Q: My 17-yr.old son (ADHD) was kicked out of his mom's home 2 summers ago for behavioral issues. Since ... A: I know you are frustrated with his behavior and you are exhuasted and sick of his attitude...but ... | |
| my daughters girlfriend | 3/25/2009 |
| Q: My daughter has been dating this girl for over a year now, and I don't know what to do, this has ... A: I can see how worried and heartbroken you are about your daughter. The one thing you don't want to ... | |
| my 16 year old son | 3/24/2009 |
| Q: I'm a father that had to have my son moved from his mom's house. He started to get in trouble his ... A: I'd like to help you but not much else I can do over email. Would you like to talk via telephone? ... | |
| my 16 year old son | 3/24/2009 |
| Q: I'm a father that had to have my son moved from his mom's house. He started to get in trouble his ... A: The situation you are experiencing with your son, unfortunately is pretty typical of kids who go ... | |
| 18 year old daughter going trough a rough patch | 3/23/2009 |
| Q: My daughter is going trough a rough time and I wish she could listen to me. I know I can't control ... A: We'd all like to prevent our kids from experiencing pain on all levels and the pain of a potentially ... | |
| Goldilocks's behaviour & crime issues | 3/15/2009 |
| Q: I'm curious to know more about goldilocks' after reading its story.Based on the goldilocks' & the 3 ... A: This is an interesting question. I do not know the origins of this fairy tale but the moral is what ... | |
| 14 year old homework, motivation, responsibility... | 3/12/2009 |
| Q: My son has a processing disorder, he was diagnosed last year or the year before. He can receive ... A: Get some 3 x 5 cards and make decks for homework, cleaning up room, chores. Break down each task ... | |
| Afraid niece will become lost cause | 3/10/2009 |
| Q: Please help. My niece is turning 16 this week. I'm looking to find a book or some kind of advice ... A: I have a few questions: You say "your 16 yo niece"...where are her parents? If they aren't available ... | |
| 12 year old very emotional | 3/10/2009 |
| Q: My 12 year old step son has been under the care of my husband and myself since he was 5. Prior to ... A: I would start a reward jar for not crying about daily frustrations. Everytime he is able to use his ... | |
| Almost 12 and still no accountibility | 3/3/2009 |
| Q: My son will be 12 in a few months. He has been diagnosed with AD/HD since the first grade, with his ... A: Sometimes just saying "no" to kids is not enough. I wonder if giving him a writing assignment about ... | |
| How do we help our son acknowledge, & stop his self destructive behavior? | 3/2/2009 |
| Q: How do we help our son acknowledge, & stop his self destructive behavior? In order to make ends ... A: Greetings, This sounds very stressful for your whole family. Separation from parents during ... | |
| 18 y/o son making dangerous choices | 3/1/2009 |
| Q: In June of 2008, my then 17 y/o son ran away from home with a girl he had met on the internet a few ... A: You need to convince your husband that he won't forgive himself if something should happen to your ... | |
| 18 y/o son making dangerous choices | 3/1/2009 |
| Q: In June of 2008, my then 17 y/o son ran away from home with a girl he had met on the internet a few ... A: I don't know much about the military and what you are dealing with. I do know about kids and family. ... | |
Parenting --Teens
Answers by Expert:
Susan P. Esptein
Top Expert on this page
Expertise
I can answer questions about teen behaviors such as explosiveness, anger,distant, depressed,ADHD,Bipolar, motivation,responsibility, accountability,disrespect, school issues, juvenile justice issues,drug and alcohol, divorce and death.
Experience
Licensed Clinical Social Worker private psychotherapy practice, Parent Coach, 30 years experience working with teens and families.
Organizations
Advisory Council http://www.parentchild411.com
Expert Panel:http://www.FreshStartAfterDivorce.com
Expert:http://www.Schoodoodle.com
Expert:http://www.firstwivesworld.com
Publications
• The Cat Who Lost Its Meow, a children’s tale about recovering from loss and grief (October, 2008, Chase-En-Point Press Publisher, ISBN 978-0-9820912-0-3).
• Are You Tired of Nagging? Get Kids to Cooperate: How to Raise Well Behaved Children”. This book was released on September 17, 2008, and is published by Shining Star Publishing Company. (Copyright 2008, ISBN 978-0-9800364-6-6)
• The Take Back Your Parenting Power System: Get Control of Your Kids in 30 Days or Less: The Secret Formula to Powerful Parenting (Copyright 2007, Shining Star Publishing Company, ISBN 978-0-9800364-2-8).
• How to Outsource Your Laundry for Free (The New London Times, May, 2008)
• Spanking Doesn’t Have to Be an Option, (The New London Day, December, 2007.)
• Laughter in the Laundry The Bank St. Magazine, (August, 2005)
Education/Credentials
MSW Social Work, University of California, Berkeley 1987
Coaches Training Institute 2002
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