| Subject | Date Asked |
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| Help | 11/19/2009 |
Q: Please let me know how to handle 13 year old boy who wakes most of the time in a bad mood, do not ...
A: If your son has had these habits a long time, one thing's for sure, you must put a stop to this now, ...
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| Family Rules | 11/3/2009 |
Q: .............My daughter who will be 20 this month, lives at home and attends a community college ...
A: You are absolutely right in the way you say you would have handled this. First the room. Our ...
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| hitting | 11/2/2009 |
Q: My daughter is 18 and a very good girl. She is a bit spoiled but very sweet. Lately she has become ...
A: You say this is recent behavior...that it has only been "lately" that she acted this way... A change ...
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| Teenage Selfish and disrespectful Behavior | 8/31/2009 |
Q: I have a 17 year old step daughter. Her mother and I have been together for 2 1/2 years and have ...
A: You and your wife have been doing all the right things...except on the occasions where you lose ...
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| 14Yr old daughter wants to come live with me (Dad) | 6/23/2009 |
Q: My 14 year old daughter who is with me for her usual summer stay, has approached me to say that she ...
A: I understand...someone in my family had a similar situation...but you need to go get the divorce ...
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| Concerns about 15 y.o. with no social life | 6/22/2009 |
Q: My 15 y.o. son has always been very reserved and although he is well liked at school, has a 4.0 GPA ...
A: ..She finally found a couple of good friends in high school but you see she was also very smart and ...
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| Effective grounding punishment | 5/26/2009 |
Q: In an effort to change the selection of friends and the amount of time spent on facebook instead of ...
A: Well grounding itself has never been proven to be very effective for teens...but maybe this will ...
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| teen laziness in job hunting | 5/11/2009 |
Q: When my son was 15 he could not wait to get a job. We spent weekends looking for employers that ...
A: You are totally right and you MUST stick to what you say. Take away the car NOW if he does not even ...
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| Prom night and cerfews | 4/24/2009 |
Q: My son is 18, good student, doesn't drink or smoke and his friends for the most part are simular. ...
A: I think you are a terrific Dad! You are reasonable and rational and trying to make wise choices, ...
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| 12 year-old boy and school | 4/22/2009 |
Q: My 12 year-old son is failing classes in school.Not gym or outdoor living ,of course.But ...
A: I am a bit confused. You say at the end of this note that he has no trouble with the work given by ...
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| Lying | 4/16/2009 |
Q: My son tried to help his friend out of a ditch (1 boy 2 girls at 7:30 at night by an acqueduct ...
A: I think your son knew he would not be in trouble about the kids going in the ditch with the car, ...
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| my daughter | 3/10/2009 |
Q: my daughter is 20 and after a few years of rebelion she has calmed down and consecuently so has ...
A: I really just clicked on the wrong button...so you got an incorrect response. But I really cannot ...
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| Consequences | 3/5/2009 |
Q: I just read the response to "Recent Teenage Son Defiance" (as I'm have a similar issue with my son). ...
A: It is especially important that your son listens to how you feel about this behaviour...really ...
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| daughter | 2/21/2009 |
Q: We have a 14 year old daughter that is getting uncontrolable. She`s not doing good at school and ...
A: You need to present a united front and agree on what to do about this with your child. You and your ...
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| Sexually active teen | 2/19/2009 |
Q: Where do we go from here? My daughter just confided in me yesterday that she has become sexually ...
A: I think you both have done very well so far in being open and informative and laying out ...
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| Teenage Girl wanting to date older boy: | 1/23/2009 |
Q: My daughter is 15 - turning 16 in summer. She is in 10th grade. She has a guy friend who she had ...
A: No I totally agree. 15 year old girls are very impressionable and don't always make the most mature ...
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| Daughter spiraling downward | 1/14/2009 |
Q: My 16-yr old daughter just got tested for ADD at her request and we find out the results in less ...
A: I am a supporter of tough love but in your case it might be a problem...you see she is only 16 and ...
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| daughter of 23 lives at home w.grandson of 5 years | 1/11/2009 |
Q: I have been in a pretty bad situation for quite a long time. My question is simply this. My ...
A: So sorry....wne I read this I see that my own situation with supporting two daughters out of ...
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| 12 and 10 year old girls rude and disrespectful to each other | 12/12/2008 |
Q: I have 5 children, ranging 4-12 - the oldest two are girls and are rude and disrepectful - not to ...
A: We went through that with our two girls who are a year apart for many years. They are now 41 and 42 ...
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| Pregnant Daughter | 12/10/2008 |
Q: My 17 year old daughter came to her mother last week and told her that she is pregnant. We have ...
A: in spite of your feelings. I think you and your wife should get together with the boy's parents and ...
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| What should a mother do | 11/23/2008 |
Q: What should a mother do if her husband or ex husband rubs the breast of his daughter 10 to 14 years ...
A: Amy if it were my child I would get her counseling and would discuss this with the husband, saying ...
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| my 14 year old daughter | 11/18/2008 |
Q: I really don't know what direction to take. We have been seeing a psychologist who, after testing ...
A: It seems that you may have to find a new therapist or conselor. Your daughter needs to respect and ...
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| Daughter wants to live with me | 11/11/2008 |
Q: I am the father of a wonderful little girl who is now 14 and she no longer wishes to live with her ...
A: If your daughter and you have a very strong bond of love, no matter what your ex does, it won't ...
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| 12 Year old daughter very disrespectful | 10/26/2008 |
Q: I have three daughters, two (12 & 10) by a previous marriage and one(2) buy my current husband. Our ...
A: Does she have these attitude problems in school? Probably not if she gets straight A's. BUT this ...
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| daughter stealing | 9/20/2008 |
Q: She also used my credit card to make an online purchase that was delivered to my house, this last ...
A: You must use a tough love approach and stick to your rules and consequences. If you let her get ...
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| Ex Husband's Difficulty in Relating to Our Teen Daughter | 9/17/2008 |
Q: I have a bright, usually happy 14 yr old daughter. Her Dad and I divorced 3 yrs ago. He has never ...
A: This has been going on too long to repair. She certainly felt his distancing and aloofness at age 3 ...
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| My 14 yr old daughter | 9/10/2008 |
Q: How can I have a better relationship with my 14 year old daughter who constantly talks back to me ...
A: Teens are hard...no two ways about it. But you need to be patient and remember how you were and how ...
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| out of control 13 year old | 8/30/2008 |
Q: My grand child is out of control. Starting with sneaking out of the house at midnight wearing these ...
A: This girl needs counseling or a child/family therapist, or maybe a counselor that specializes in ...
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| Sexist and argumentative 12 year old boy | 8/26/2008 |
Q: My 12 year old son has become very sexist as of late. He goes around saying that cooking is a ...
A: WOW you painted yourself into a corner. No you cannot go back on this decision, but you can say to ...
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| skipping school | 8/21/2008 |
Q: My son skipped school for the first time today.. I found out by the other boys sister. He is very ...
A: Tonya, you are doing what is right and what parents DO...Stick with it and hang in there and keep ...
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| 17 yr daughter hates mom | 7/7/2008 |
Q: My daughter who is 17 comes from divorced parents, whom both remarried when she was 3 and remain ...
A: I know you feel betrayed and deserted and that this is totally unfair...teenagers are often cruel ...
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| My 11 year old daughter. | 6/8/2008 |
Q: I've been divorced for 8 years and I know I am a competent Father and do everything in my Child's ...
A: Dea Les, Your daughter is 11 and is a smart girl who probably knows that her mother is not a good ...
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| teenage daughter working | 5/26/2008 |
Q: My wife and I agree on 90% of things, but she has always "allowed" our now 19 year old daughter ...
A: It seems to me your wife and daughter are not in touch with reality. In the real world, things ...
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| My 18 year old dauther lies and has being for over 5 years | 5/25/2008 |
Q: married for 19 years and I have a daughter that is 18 years old that lies. I also have an 11 year ...
A: I am sorry but I cannot think of anything you can do that you have not already tried. I would ...
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| 18 year old female | 5/22/2008 |
Q: My daughter turned 18 in April and suddenly on that day, she thought that she was grown. She is ...
A: You are in a tough spot since you really don't want to move her out and not know what she's doing. ...
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| HELP | 5/21/2008 |
Q: My fourteen year old son just doesn't care. What can I do to help him wake up? He doesn't care if ...
A: First think about when the behavior started. Is the a new thing or has he always been this was only ...
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| Teenage daughter | 4/25/2008 |
Q: Evelyn, Here is my issue. I have a 16 yr old son, 16yr old daughter (step) and a 12 yr old son. His ...
A: Who has legal custody of the step daughter? Whomever that is will soon find that when she does ...
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| Teens and tough love | 4/10/2008 |
Q: My son is 18 1/2. because of his choices, he isn't graduating with his 12th grade class and has now ...
A: yes it's time for really really tough love. Tell him he needs to move out (in 3 weeks) unless he ...
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| Over-parenting 18 year old? | 1/29/2008 |
Q: I feel I might be over-parenting or sending mixed signals to our 18 year old. I question whether we ...
A: Yes it is very hard to let go...especially when you have a good relationship. But remember that ...
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| daughter | 1/27/2008 |
Q: My husband does not want our 17 year old daughter to be in a car w/a boy. What is the appropriate ...
A: Sorry Jodi, this is not a matter of advice but your own values and your own rules for your daughter. ...
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| Problems with nearly teenaged son | 1/26/2008 |
Q: First of all I am a single mom of 3 children...a son..almost 13 and two daughters...almost 11 and ...
A: I think it was good for you to write all that out...Mostly you needed to VENT and tell someone else ...
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| 17 year son | 1/25/2008 |
Q: my son and i just a a pretty big confurtation with respect to him taking my car to some dinner that ...
A: You have done nothing wrong except for letting this ungrateful and rude child walk all over you and ...
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| 16 Year old son | 1/22/2008 |
Q: My son was great kid, but he has become easilly distracted by his girlfriend! His attitude is ...
A: The trick is to make firm rules about their behavior and do it regardless of what the girl's mother ...
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| 14 daughter-crisis-needs to live with dad instead of mom. | 1/21/2008 |
Q: My ex-wife called me today, said she had finally reached the point where she had to admit she ...
A: Well Jon, this whole thing will be a work in process and you and your wife will need to observe the ...
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| 14 daughter-crisis-needs to live with dad instead of mom. | 1/18/2008 |
Q: My ex-wife called me today, said she had finally reached the point where she had to admit she ...
A: I have every confidence that you will do the right things and know what to say and do. This is ...
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| homeschooling my 8th grade daughter | 1/8/2008 |
Q: My daughter is half way through 8th grade. She excelled in elementary school. Junior high has been ...
A: Ginger, take the advice of the school counselor on this...If you do not feel confident about home ...
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| My daughter lies and steals | 12/3/2007 |
Q: I am having some serious problems with my daughter, who is almost 12 years old. I have read ...
A: I think you have been doing everything right, and what you have done should have worked...But it did ...
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| My Daughter Dixie | 12/1/2007 |
Q: My 13 year old daughter claims she has a boyfriend. I know the boy. Lately my daughter has been ...
A: You had better closely monitor her PC and Net activities and take away My Space and U Tube or even ...
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| lazy 11 year old girl | 11/28/2007 |
Q: my 11 year old has no motivation at all. she is clinically considered overweight. i have tried ...
A: At 11 she is not yet thinking about boys and how she looks, and is now escaping thoughts about this ...
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| My daughter is getting bad grades might not graduate | 11/27/2007 |
Q: I just learned that my 13yr old daughter has been getting bad grades 4 F's and a C to be exact. I ...
A: Make and appointment to talk to your child's teacher. Together, brainstorm a way to work on this ...
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| behavior issues in school | 11/16/2007 |
Q: My 14 year old son's boisterous behavior in school since 1st grade has escalated now that he is in ...
A: It seems that your son's behavior is inconsistent and confusing. To sort this all out, I suggest ...
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| I have all the guts, but he gets all the glory! | 11/11/2007 |
Q: I will attempt to explain the situation and give you the needed facts without making this too long ...
A: I think you are doing the best you can, and that you are a really good mom...stick to what you do. ...
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| My Teenage Son | 10/22/2007 |
Q: My 14 year old son just recently found a box of Trojans Condems, and he has been experimenting with ...
A: He may already know from other kids more than you think and it may even be incorrect information. ...
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| can an 18 year old daughter be the cause of a failed marriage? | 10/13/2007 |
Q: I'm the child in this situation but I seriously need some advice. I'm 18 years old and have grown ...
A: You are NOT to blame and you are doing a wonderful job of hanging in there in spite of tough times. ...
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| 16 yr. old son in a unhealthy relationship | 10/9/2007 |
Q: My oldest son is 16 and has been dating a girl for almost a year now. This is his first serious ...
A: Susan you are right to be concerned...but I cannot really give you as much help as you need. You ...
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| Relationships with my daughters/ family | 9/21/2007 |
Q: please help: I have 2 daughters (and a 7 year old son), aged 18 & 19. They are now both in ...
A: Jeff, I think you have done the best you can but it is too bad you did not start early when the ...
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| Defiant Teen | 9/13/2007 |
Q: I have a 16 year old son who has determined that he has a right to do what he wants, when he wants ...
A: As I read your letter, I could see that you need more help than I can give...If you had a counselor ...
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| teen dating | 9/10/2007 |
Q: My daughter just turned 15 and wants to be able to go to her boyfriends house and just hangout with ...
A: Absolutely NOT. These children are experiencing raging hormones and confusion about their ...
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| 13 year old daughter | 8/28/2007 |
Q: My 13 year old daughter is having a very difficult time adjusting to her new school after our move. ...
A: Do call the school and/or teacher immediately and make an appointment to see them. You need to see ...
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| Dealing with a disrespectful 16 year old | 8/3/2007 |
Q: My name is Shachi and I live in New Delhi, India. I have been fighting a disrespectful, rude, lazy ...
A: My only suggestion is that you CANNOT handle this very hard problem alone. You need professional ...
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| finding out about a friend's child's sexual activity | 8/1/2007 |
Q: I know a secret about my friend's 14 year old daughter. While at this young lady's 15th birthday ...
A: The girl's mom wanted to know how to get into the daughter's account/site and look around. Just ...
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| almost an adult | 7/31/2007 |
Q: I'm a widowed, fairly liberal, single parent of a daughter who is about to be 18, but has one year ...
A: As you look back, you can see that you have done a good parenting job so far, and I would trust your ...
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| Stepson Problems | 6/23/2007 |
Q: I recently married for the second time after about 7 years of being a single parent to my 2 teenage ...
A: Have a serious talk with your husband about this and explain that it is in his son's best long term ...
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| DO WHAT AS I SAY | 6/19/2007 |
Q: A long time ago my dad always told me to get all my important things done first then I'll have time ...
A: Unfortunately adults often tell their children to do the right things, even though they themselves ...
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| No remorse for bad behavior | 6/12/2007 |
Q: My 15 year old daughter recently stayed the night with two girl friends and they snuck out of the ...
A: You are all so lucky that the girls did not get hurt or worse. What you all did as parents was wise ...
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| 13 Year old embarrased to be seen with mother | 6/12/2007 |
Q: I have a just turned 13 year old girl who is ADD. She is a very low level ADD so her medication ...
A: Yes I would be very hurt too...and I was hurt when one of our girls felt that way becuase I talked ...
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| defiant 14 year old | 6/11/2007 |
Q: I have a 14 year old daughter who was always very loving and shy. Lately though she has become so ...
A: This is, unfortunately, all too common a situation. You need to get some help from a family ...
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| Teen Issues | 6/10/2007 |
Q: I am in a relationship with a women who is going through a divorce. Presently we live together. As ...
A: You are absolutely correct....it is manipulation and you both should take a stand and not allow ...
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| Teenage daughter's GED party | 6/2/2007 |
Q: My 17-yr-old daughter is a disrespectful, foulmouthed, angry kid. She has been in and out of ...
A: I think you are absolutley right. Keep up the TOUGH LOVE as this is the only way you can deal with ...
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| 12 year old son dating and more | 5/9/2007 |
Q: My 12 year old son has recently started 'dating' a girl a year and a bit older than him. I ...
A: You and the other mom are doing GREAT with your on target assessment of this and what to do about ...
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| 12 year old Boy - Dropping Grades | 4/23/2007 |
Q: My 12 year old son went from straight A's last year in 5th grade to B's and now a C in the third ...
A: I think that only you and your husband can answer this question and make the decision. Your sun has ...
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| daughter | 2/16/2007 |
Q: DAUGHTER IS 20 YRS OLD AND HAS A 2 WEEK ON CHILD, SHE HAS A ABUSIVE BOYFRIEND THAT BEAT HER WILL SHE ...
A: Sorry to say this Larry, but women who will live with an abuser have a problem and need ...
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| Teenage Daughter and Dating | 11/28/2006 |
Q: My daughter recently turned 17. For the past couple years she has been interested in a young man. ...
A: Kim, you are doing all the right things...Tough Love is best in this situation. You can only keep ...
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| Our teen sons troubling behavior | 10/23/2006 |
Q: To give you a little more information about our son - he is a very accomplished trombone player and ...
A: Good luck...keep trying. Has he seen any Jazz trombone players or quartets or trios? If you have ...
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| Our teen sons troubling behavior | 10/23/2006 |
Q: Our son, age 14 (15 next month) is currently in the 9th grade and is not doing as well as we hoped ...
A: I commend you for your wonderful achievements in adoption and raising children. You are doing all ...
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| Beligerent Teen boy | 9/14/2006 |
Q: My son Daniel at age 16 changed so much we hardly reconize who we are talking to anymore. He lies ...
A: You are wise to have him in therapy, but maybe your therapist is not doing enough. Be sure you keep ...
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| Lazy teen | 8/28/2006 |
Q: We have a 19 year old son, who decided this past May to leave college after one year saying it wasnt ...
A: Yes he does need a tough love approach, just like everyone says. You get a counselor to help you ...
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| Sibling Rivalry and Etc. | 8/2/2006 |
Q: My Daighter is 12 and my son is 10. I am divorced, however, their dad is very involved in their ...
A: You are asking two questions here...First, as to sibling rivalry, it is the pits, and I have had the ...
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| Masterbation | 8/1/2006 |
Q: My son is only 8 years old and I caught him masterbating. He doesn't know I saw him but it was in ...
A: This is of course a very normal thing that happens to young boys. He needs to know that it is ...
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| Am I Overprotective | 7/27/2006 |
Q: My son just got his motorcycle permit, thanks to his dad. I worry everytime he rides. I seem to ...
A: I would worry too...I hate those things. But you can ease your worry somewhat if you are sure he is ...
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| Toddler ear infection | 7/20/2006 |
Q: Are there alternatives to tubes? My Child will be 2 in Aug she has never been sick she has been ...
A: You should definitely let them put in the tubes. This ear surgery is very common among ...
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| Parental nudity | 5/17/2006 |
Q: Mother of three wants to know? I am a 33-year-old mother of three while my husband is 36. We have ...
A: I really cannot think of any way to help you with this personal problem. You seem to have gone for ...
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| Teenage boy | 5/16/2006 |
Q: My son is 13y/o and I've been having a hard time communicating with him lately. He got held back in ...
A: I think you are doing lots of good things so far, but I am sure you are frustrated with not knowing ...
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| suitable punishment for skipping school. | 5/5/2006 |
Q: I need direction on dealing with this problem. My daughter is a strong willed independant 15 year ...
A: First you need to make sure your daughter has an understanding of the relationship between school, ...
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| violent threats from a teenager | 2/14/2006 |
Q: I admit I spoil my kids a bit. I will let them be on the computer as much as they want so long as ...
A: I am sorry to say this, but it appears to me that perhaps you have been giving an inch or more for ...
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| Family Issues | 2/13/2006 |
Q: I have a younger sister who's 16 and lives with my mother. Recentley my mom started seeing this guy ...
A: Please talk to your mom about your sister's distress. Perhaps you can work it out to have her stay ...
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| Teen Runaway | 5/17/2005 |
Q: Please help! I have a 14 year old son who ran away last week and returned home yesterday. I am so ...
A: i think you need some help with those family problems; seek some professional counseling for the ...
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| Teen Defiance | 2/27/2005 |
Q: My daughter, almost 16, has recently gone on a rampage. She was an A/B student last semester, she ...
A: My feeling is that you need more help than I can give in my answer. You probably should get help ...
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| How do I get close to my son again? | 10/1/2004 |
Q: My 17-year-old son has his first love. He is naturally out quite often with her. The problem, ...
A: As hard as it may be, you need to get to know this girl and her family and find out what makes her ...
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| daughter trouble | 8/19/2004 |
Q: I'm a 45 yr old single dad. My daughter is 17 and has lived with me for the last 4 yrs. She came ...
A: You deserve a life of your own and the happiness to go with it. Believe me after 45 the years fly ...
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| mixing of families | 8/12/2004 |
Q: I have an 11 year old son who has had me to himself for the 1st 10yrs of his life because his mother ...
A: You know your son best...be honest with yourself as to his strengths and weakinesses and accept him ...
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| 18 yo son thinks world is a joke | 8/10/2004 |
Q: My son was thrown out of the house last week, and I don't know what to do now. We're a middle-class ...
A: I feel so sorry for you...but I am not an expert in this type of behavior; I am an early childhood ...
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| developmental behavior of 6 yo | 6/25/2004 |
Q: We are having some problems with our 6 yo (middle child)son. He is extreamly sensitive to textures ...
A: Kate I am a parenting specialist, not a doctor. But I think, as a grandmother and columnist for 20 ...
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| Teen son needs help | 6/19/2004 |
Q: Actually, I have spoken with the girl's mom. She thinks I'm being too strict! She says they only ...
A: Having a positive attitude can be demonstrated by doing one's chores graciously if not happily, ...
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| Teen son needs help | 6/17/2004 |
Q: We've been having "issues" with our son for about six months now. He used to be the model child, ...
A: Do not doubt your gut feelings and instincts. YOU are still in charge here and be he 17 or not, ...
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| Moving | 6/7/2004 |
Q: I have two kids ages 13 & 16. We are moving very soon to a new neighborhood about 10 miles away. ...
A: Sorry Arlene, You are just going to have to explain to them like you did to me how that ...
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| i have a problem i always... | 6/5/2004 |
Q: i have a problem i always fight with my parents and its realy getting me down. im an only child so i ...
A: It sounds like you hate this as much as they probably do, but you know, they probably don't KNOW ...
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| Moving | 6/3/2004 |
Q: I have two kids ages 13 & 16. We are moving very soon to a new neighborhood about 10 miles away. ...
A: This is tough on you and the kids. But yes it's not practical for them to stay in their own ...
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| Challenges Parents Face | 6/2/2004 |
Q: I was wondering that if u were a parent if u could answer a question for me........ I was wondering ...
A: This question is much too long and complex to answer in a column or email. BUT the hardest problems ...
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| Teen Acting Out? | 5/30/2004 |
Q: Help! My 17-year old son has started behaving in a way that we are not familiar with at all. He ...
A: You are doing everything you can and doing it right. hang in there. I can really think of nothing ...
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| Teen distancing himself? | 5/10/2004 |
Q: My 17-year-old son has started dating a 15-year old girl -- his first girlfriend. He seems to want ...
A: What you are doing now is not working. You must work through the girl, not your son. Stop thinking ...
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| teenage girl's disrespect, disobedience | 3/14/2004 |
Q: My boyfriend's 13 year old daughter is miserable with her two younger brothers and insists on ...
A: It sounds like the girl has been acting this way for years; it does not sound like a new ...
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| Correcting someone else's child | 12/30/2003 |
Q: Evelyn, My sister-in-law is for the most part a very likable person. We have always had a good ...
A: You are really stuck in a hard place if you have no support from other family members. If you are ...
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| withdrawn child | 7/18/2003 |
Q: My son of 10 will not go out to play with friends, which have now stopped calling for him, he seems ...
A: You probably know that some children are better at making and keeping friends than others. The main ...
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| teenage daughters | 6/3/2003 |
Q: I have four teenage daughters, who are wonderful kids. My second daughter turned 18 in February and ...
A: My heart goes out to you....you are having a tough time and trying to show your daughter tough ...
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