Aboutshanac Expertise Questions from parents who are noticing changes in their adolecent and think problems may be brewing, questions regarding specific problems they are already experiencing, information on warning signs if they think their child may be having problems, questions regarding fighting with parents, sibling rivlary, school problems, addiction problems, relationship issues (eg their child is in a relationship and parent has concerns), and anything else you can think of.
Experience 15 years working with an adolescent population providing counselling. I have probably worked with over 1000 clients in that time. Have been used to testify in court and write reports for sentencing.
Education/Credentials M.A. Counselling Psychology For a complete list of my credentials, visit my website at www.counselingappointment.com.
Question Ok im 15. I need some help i cant stand my dad no more all he dose is whinge and whine about everything to me. I hear this everyday from him "HAVE u done ur homework ?" "if u do ur homework dont just do it understand it " tells me it once a day when he knows ive done it and im on msn in my real trying to relax i mean holy shit i got to school like 6 hours a day and go to greek school on wednesday wwhich goes for like 3 days a week he stresses me soo i hard just i wanna bash him sometimes. He dose nothing but walk around the house and piss me off i try to shut my door to work out and he goes "y u close the door for " and i go i wanna workout i want some privacy and then he would go " like its all stuffy in here leave it open" i mean holyshit i cant breathe without him being on top on me. NOw with my report the first semsester was all b's and a's he was really happy and kept saying good work but he still just kept hasstling me to do harder and just pissed me off to the max where everytime i was in class i just decided to do half my best and be stupid and go crazy i even annoyed my teacher on purpose just to laugh and at the end of all this at semsester 2 i brang back all c's. My dad went nutz i explained to him that i know wat i did wrong that iw as hanging around girls to much but i also told him that he kept hasstling me and i cant stand this shit and he likes " NO untill u leave the house i tell u wat to do and im the boss" and i said wat diffrence dose it make whois the boss u can be the boss but dont talk to me at all if u just gonna whinge to me about school, he went silent for like 2mins and he goes "Dont talk to me like im ur farther i pay for everythting and i do this and that" when he really just water the gardens and bums at home all day.
I go out twice a week maybe just once out of the house at nite he would let me stay at the house untill wat time i ever wanted but not sleep but my mum gave me a lift home so it was aall good. UNtill this year his getting even tighter it aint the report or anything he wants me to be back at 11pm when i usausly go home at like 12 i tell my mum when i drink aolcohol which is like twice a year and thats cause its a mega party, I dont smoke weed like all my friends do everyday i dont drink like they do everyweek. I want to be able to sleep at peoples houses or to let me stay up till one time i want and if my mum cant take me home i dont really care i would walk its only 30 mins from my friends houses.
To come to the conclusion i cant stand my dad he getting tighter every year i just wanna be alone without my parents without my computer i want to be out with girls having fun like every other 15 year old is doing. I dont want to live my teen year being stuck on msn talking to my friends cause i cant do it in reality while my friends are out in parks doing stupid stuff.
i hate being home when my dads here i get annoyed just by looking at him hearing his voice while his talking on the phone about some pointless shit. I cant change him and i cant argue with him cause he always goes back to the same point he even pisses my mum off i mean i wish he just left this house, i know he buys me stuff but i dont want him too i want to live my own life without having him stating the obvious and asking if i done my homework like 89273987234982349 a day i mean its not like he can help me with it anyway he just SOO annoying i cant stand it anymore. im not allowed to do anything im soo sick of this life its pointless im going to be like 20 and iw ont even know how to talk to a girl cause he wont let me out and experiancing on my own i mean i cant even walk in the streets at nite like in places where there is light with my friends cause he thinks im going to get bashed wtf is wrong with him ? ive been doing kickboxing for 2 months and know how to defend my self cause i know how to stop a fight. so yeh please tell me how to make him understand that telling me to do my homework and stating the obvious everyday to me isent going to help with school i mean i serious am starting to think to drop outta school so he stops hasstling me with my homework... somtimes i rather be at school with my friends then home on msn with him busting my balls
im tellin you know one day im just gonna let it all out at him and it aint gonna be nice cause we probly wont commnuicate for like half a year and he would make me do chores his fucken crazy
please any help would be nice
i feel soo much better lettting all this out
Answer Hi, I'm glad you feel better. You sound really angry and it doesn't sound like you have really had the chance to tell him what you want to tell him, because he just keeps stating the obvious. A couple of suggestions... it sounds like talking isn't a great option with him, have you tried writing a letter and leaving it for him. You need to help him realize that you are growing up and need to be trusted with more responsibility. You might want to ask him, 'what can I do so that you will give me more freedom and responsibility'. Maybe then you can negotiate with him. It's a starting point. You say little about your mom. Does she know how you feel? If not, you need to tell her and ask her if she can help you get the point across to your father. Failing that, speak to your school counselor. Maybe he or she can talk to your father if it's starting to effect your schooling.
