	AllExperts > Experts
	Search

Ask a question about Parenting--Toddlers/Infants/Pre-Schoolers
Volunteer
Experts of the Month
Expert Login

Awards

About Us
Tell friends
Link to Us
Disclaimer

About M Kay Keller
Expertise
Questions concerning Infants & Toddlers & the developmental stages that they are in and referral information when necessary. It doesn`t matter what the psychological or emotional behavior they are exhibiting. What matters is that you ask the questions & search out solutions! Do you have a teen in the house? Wonder who that stranger is living with you? Look for me under AllExperts-Parenting/Family-Parenting of Adolescents-Parenting --Teens

Follow up questions please call me anonymously in person, I can be reached at: www.ingenio.com/Family SolutionsInc or 1-888-INGENIO extension 0380074.

Experience
I have worked with Infants & Toddlers of teen parents, single parents, parents, alternative caregivers & grandparents raising grandparents. I was trained as an Infant Massage Instructor and in the Nurturing Parenting Education program. I have raised three children of my own successfully and am very actively involved with my grandchildren. I have knowledge of breastfeeding, developmental play, intuitive parenting, appropriate boundaries and rule setting with toddlers, potty training, and developmental stages.

Organizations
Social Service Workers License, National Council on Family Relations, Nurturing Parenting Educator, Infant Massage Instructor

Publications
International Attachment Parenting Journal

Education/Credentials
Education: A.A., B.S. Honors, (Psychology & Sociology), S.S.W., Masters, & PhD (Doctoral Student) Child and Family Studies (specialty bonding & attachment). AllFamilySolutions.com

Past/Present Clients
Parents, caregivers, grand-parents raising grand-children, foster & adoptive parents, single parents & teen parents, relative care and all who were caring for infant & toddlers!

You are here: Experts > Parenting/Family > Parenting of Multiples > Parenting--Toddlers/Infants/Pre-Schoolers > Daughter afraid of her aunt

Pre-Schoolers

Expert: M Kay Keller
Date: 6/29/2008
Subject: Daughter afraid of her aunt

Question
My daughter is completely terrified of my sister-in-law and I don't know what to do. Anytime she sees her, she starts to cry hysterically and won't stop. I feel awful because my sister-in-law has never done anything that I can think of to warrant this type of response and it really bothers her. It also bothers my husband and his mom because the baby gets so upset when she is with them. My daughter doesn't really do this with anyone else. Usualy if it's someone new, she'll be a little shy with them, but then is ok. She doesn't see my sister-in-law a lot, but the fact that she doesn't do this when we go anywhere else makes me think that it is my sister-in-law. Any advice on how can I get my daughter to not have this reaction when she sees her? Part of me wants to say she'll grow out of it, but this has been going on since she was 6 months old and isn't getting any better. I don't quite know where to turn on this one.

Answer
Dear Jennifer:

You stated, "She doesn't see my sister-in-law a lot," it could be stranger anxiety. Regardless she is little and she is more important than your sister in laws feelings. It is too bad she has a reaction to her however it is more important she be comforted and her feelings are validated. Never push a child to get past their feelings towards someone. Either she will outgrow it or when she gets more verbal she can tell you what is happening. My bet is it will go away.

Hopefully you are not leaving her alone with your sister in law when she reacts this way. Not because your sister in law is the problem but because an infant not able to express their anxiety would be terrified to be left alone with someone they already react to in this manner.

I do encourage you to realize that a child's reactions are very critical to them developing a sense of personal power. Sometimes we make the mistake of pushing children towards someone they have reacted to and thereby teaching them not to listen to their own inner guidance. This learning to trust one's instinct is critical to their development as a whole human being. It also reflects on your relationship with your daughter. If parenting becomes about other people's feelings and pleasing others your relationship with your daughter will suffer. I know it is an uncomfortable position to be in however you are more capable of dealing than your daughter and you will get passed this.

Sincerely,

Kay

Add to this Answer Ask a Question

About Us | Advertise on This Site | User Agreement | Privacy Policy | Help
Copyright © 2008 About, Inc. About and About.com are registered trademarks of About, Inc. The About logo is a trademark of About, Inc. All rights reserved.