AboutKelly Dyar Expertise I can answer questions on practical raising of children. I am a registered nurse, but will not answer questions that require a physician's evaluation and treatment. I can also address breastfeeding questions and cloth diapering questions.
Experience I am a mother of four children ranging in age from 12 years old to 1 year old. I have two sons and two daughters. I have also parented as a full time working mother, and as a stay at home mother.
Expert: Kelly Dyar Date: 6/26/2008 Subject: My Two year Old won't go to bed without screaming!
Question QUESTION: Hi. I saw that you just recently helped a lady who had a 3 year daughter that didn't want to sleep in her bed. I have a two year old daughter who also was a great sleeper. Never gave us any trouble always went to bed and slept 12-13 hours no problem. But a couple of weeks a go she started just screaming and screaming so much so that she starts shaking. It has really been freaking me out! We asked her if she was scared and she won't/can't say. We have moved her room around to where she can see into the, she has two night lights and she just still screams. We have tried sitting in her room until she falls asleep and that works, but then she'll wake 2 -3 times in the night freaking out and calling for us. My husband let her sleep in out bed and she was totally fine. But, we have NEVER let her sleep with us and I have ALWAYS had a consistent bedtime routine for her. The other night I sat with her from 11:00pm until 12:00am and then told her "mommy is going to bed, you're ok and I am right there if you need me." as soon as I left she screamed. I decided to just let her scream and she literally screamed for over 2 hours until she finally fell asleep. I am soooo frustrated and tired! Please, please, please help me!!!
ANSWER: So sorry your little one isn't sleeping well- and sorry for the delay in answering as well. I was out of town and didn't have access for a few days.
As you read in my other reply to a similar situation, most of the time there is some trigger for sleep problems- especially when you've had a child who slept well. Something has likely happened that has upset her and made her fearful of sleeping alone in her room. I'm not a huge fan of allowing babies to cry it out, and I actually think it is counterproductive in older children who can remember from one night to the next that they had to cry themselves to sleep. It sets up for the next night to be even worse.
I would suggest that if she is happy sleeping in your room that you let her do that for a night or two so that she can see again that bedtime and sleep at night is a happy and good thing- not something to dread or be scared. I am not suggesting that you put her in your bed- but consider making it a "sleepover" night and let her know that she can sleep in a sleeping bag in you room. Get a calendar and tell her that she can sleep in your room for two or three nights. Make it a fun thing- but mark on the calendar which night she goes back to her room, and then check off each night. If you need to then move her pallet into the hallway where she is close to your room, but working her way back into hers. Each few nights move her a little bit closer until she is finally back into her own bed.
Wishing you much good sleep tonight!
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QUESTION: Thank you for your reply. We wanted to see if she was afraid of her room or just didn't want to be in her bed. So we set up a playpen(which she helped make)in her room. She went right in no problem. But as we went to leave the room she started freaking out again. So, we set it up in our room and she was just fine. She has been sleeping in there for about a week now. Today my husband decided to convert her crib into a toddler bed and we are going to see if that will work and if she'll sleep in her room now. I know something is defiantly bother her, but like I said she just turned 2 a few weeks ago and can't tell me what it is. I'll let you know how the toddler bed goes. Also, we just found out last Thursday that we are expecting out second child! I wonder if maybe she could sense it and that's why she has been so clingy!? Haha maybe not.
Answer Congrats on your new pregnancy! How exciting for you and your family! Don't be surprised if your daughter senses it somehow. I've had many friends who knew they were pregnant by how their older children acted.
It sounds like you are on the right track towards having better nights. Just be consistent as much as you possibly can. Children really need that to feel secure.
