AboutJames Windell Expertise I can answer questions related to normal child development, disturbed behavior and how to provide appropriate guidance and discipline.
Experience I've been a clinical psychologist in a juvenile court, worked in school settings, been a child psychotherapist in a private psychiatric clinic and consulted with schools, courts, hospitals and daycare centers.
Organizations American Psychological Association
Michigan Psychological Association
Publications I have been a columnist with the Oakland Press (Oakland County, MI) for 21 years writing a weekly column called Coping With Kids, which is also published weekly in the Staten Island Advance. I have been a mental health columnist with the Detroit Free Press and a columnist for Working Mother Magazine. In addition, I have published articles in professional journals. I have published 12 books, among them are "8 Weeks to a Well-Behaved Child" (IDG Books), "Discipline: A Sourcebook of 50 Failsafe Techniques for Parents" (IDG Books); "Children Who Say No When You Want Them to Say Yes" (IDG Books), "What You Need to Know About Ritalin" (Bantam Books) and "6 Steps to an Emotionally Intelligent Teenagers" (John Wiley & Sons). My latest two books, both published in 2006 are "The Fatherstyle Advantage" (Stewart, Tabori & Chang) and "Defusing High Conflict Divorce" (Impact Publishers). Articles about my work with parents has appeared in the New York Times, the Chicago Sun Times, the Detroit News and the Detroit Free Press.
My website at Jameswindell.com includes more information about me, my books and includes many columns I've written.
Education/Credentials B.A. in Psychology from Wayne State University
M.A. in Clinical Psychology from Oakland University
Awards and Honors Best Educational Program by Juvenile and Family Court Judges Association (National award for the development of a parent training program for parents of delinquent teenagers. Beth Clark Service Award from the Michigan Psychological Association.
Expert: James Windell Date: 7/2/2008 Subject: 4-yr old school behavior
Question I have a just turned 4 yr old that has problems at school with temperament. It always seems to begin when the learning activities begin. During social time, play time, field trips, etc, he does just fine. It seems that he only wants to learn on his terms or finds learning boring. He is a child that is full of energy and rarely stops to take a breath. Sometimes it is difficult to get him to stop to slow down to get ready for bed. His speech is quite well and can communicate well with others. He does have quite the temper and usually escalates to hitting, biting, and scratching very quickly over the smallest things. Any help or suggestions would be helpful.
Answer Hello Matt,
Yes, it sounds like you have a very active son. He may indeed find structured, learning activities boring. Here are a few suggestions:
1. The teacher can try to involve him more in the learning in an active way. That is, he could be asked to pass out books or pages. Or he could be asked to point to pictures on the bulletin board as the teacher reads.
2. He can be rewarded for small, positive changes in the right direction. If he can participate in a learning activity for a minute, then the teacher could give him an assignment that allows him to get up and move around. The goal is to gradually increase the time he is able to spend engaged in the learning activity. But he may need incentives to postpone being bored or disengaged.
3. You should be doing the same at home. Using books and reading, get him to increase the time he is able to listen to a story with you. You can also use board games to help him learn to spend more time engaged in a more thinking/educational task.
4. As for his quick temper, both you and the teacher need to be teaching him what to do when he starts to get mad. He can be taught to take deep breaths, walk away, use his good verbal skills to deal with his anger or frustration, and learn a simple relaxation procedure.
I hope these suggestions give you a few ideas to get started. Feel free to get back to me with more questions.
best,
James Windell
