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About James Windell
Expertise
I can answer questions related to normal child development, disturbed behavior and how to provide appropriate guidance and discipline.
Experience
I've been a clinical psychologist in a juvenile court, worked in school settings, been a child psychotherapist in a private psychiatric clinic and consulted with schools, courts, hospitals and daycare centers.
Organizations
American Psychological Association
Michigan Psychological Association
Publications
I have been a columnist with the Oakland Press (Oakland County, MI) for 21 years writing a weekly column called Coping With Kids, which is also published weekly in the Staten Island Advance. I have been a mental health columnist with the Detroit Free Press and a columnist for Working Mother Magazine. In addition, I have published articles in professional journals. I have published 12 books, among them are "8 Weeks to a Well-Behaved Child" (IDG Books), "Discipline: A Sourcebook of 50 Failsafe Techniques for Parents" (IDG Books); "Children Who Say No When You Want Them to Say Yes" (IDG Books), "What You Need to Know About Ritalin" (Bantam Books) and "6 Steps to an Emotionally Intelligent Teenagers" (John Wiley & Sons). My latest two books, both published in 2006 are "The Fatherstyle Advantage" (Stewart, Tabori & Chang) and "Defusing High Conflict Divorce" (Impact Publishers). Articles about my work with parents has appeared in the New York Times, the Chicago Sun Times, the Detroit News and the Detroit Free Press.
My website at Jameswindell.com includes more information about me, my books and includes many columns I've written.
Education/Credentials
B.A. in Psychology from Wayne State University
M.A. in Clinical Psychology from Oakland University
Awards and Honors
Best Educational Program by Juvenile and Family Court Judges Association (National award for the development of a parent training program for parents of delinquent teenagers. Beth Clark Service Award from the Michigan Psychological Association.
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You are here: Experts > Parenting/Family > Parenting of Multiples > Parenting--Toddlers/Infants/Pre-Schoolers > Behavioral change in my 12 month old
Expert: James Windell
Date: 7/9/2008
Subject: Behavioral change in my 12 month old
Question
My husband had major surgery on July 1st and my 12 month old daughter spent the entire week with my in-laws. Since she has come home, she has been behaving/eating/drinking fine at day care, but in the evenings when I bring her home she seems to be throwing tantrums, not eating or selectively eating, throwing food on the floor and screaming with a stiff-as-a-board body for an hour at a time. She began a few weeks ago with tossing food on the floor at dinner time which I took to mean she was board and done eating. I simply said, "All done," and took her out of the high chair. But this new behavior has been going on for almost a week and I can't make heads or tails of it. Can you help?
Answer
Hello Marcia,
Your daughter's behavior may indicate the general disruption in her life and in her schedule since her father had surgery and she spent a week away from you both.
However, I would point out that now that she is officially a toddler, her behaviors are very typical for todders. All of the behaviors you've mentioned are common for one year olds: tantrums, throwing food, and being a picky eater.
It's important for you not to overreact. I liked your response when she was tossing food. Saying "All done" and removing her from the high chair may be a good way of handling it when she's stopped eating and is simply playing with the food. However, that will frequently initiate a tantrum. Sometimes -- actually often! -- toddlers don't know what they want. So they may be bored with food, but if you take it away, they throw a fit
But not to worry, she'll get over these. You just need to expect these (for the next two years) and not let them upset you. Be calm and patient. And if you don't give in to the tantrums, they'll become somewhat less frequent and probably shorter.
I'd be glad to answer further questions.
Best,
James Windell
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