AboutKelly Dyar Expertise I can answer questions on practical raising of children. I am a registered nurse, but will not answer questions that require a physician's evaluation and treatment. I can also address breastfeeding questions and cloth diapering questions.
Experience I am a mother of four children ranging in age from 12 years old to 1 year old. I have two sons and two daughters. I have also parented as a full time working mother, and as a stay at home mother.
Expert: Kelly Dyar Date: 7/17/2008 Subject: working vs non working mom
Question Hi Kelly!i read from your profile that you have been both a full time working and a stay at home mom. From your personal experience i want to know what difference you feel in your children whom you raised as a mom only and those whom you raised as a career mom?
In my case i am a first time mom with a 7.5 m old daughter and i work full time.The child is with my maid who is very good.Financially, i can quit job and i feel tempted to do so very often but that will be bad for my carrer.Inspite of a good maid i still feel the child needs me as i feel i am not connecting to this lovely relationship.
Answer To give you some background- I worked full time with my two oldest. They were 9 and 5 when I was able to start staying at home. My 3rd child was 15 months old, and I had not yet had my now 23 month old. So the two youngest have had the benefit of me more than the two older one. I have continued to work some- usually no more than one to two days a week, and sometimes not even that much. It just depends on what our finances need.
Can I see a difference in personalities? Yes- but I think that it is more just their own independent differences rather than it is my influence on them. We were blessed with one wonderful lady who took care of all three of my children up until I started staying at home, and we really only ended that because she moved out of state. At that point we just couldn't seem to find anyone who could replace her to our satisfaction, so we looked and saw that while it would be a stretch for us, that we could allow me to stay at home.
Here is my advice to you- these years with your child will go so quickly, and you will never get them back. It is a precious time in her life- and in yours. If you can afford to stay at home with her then I would go for it and become her mommy full time. I have never known a mother to regret having stayed at home with her children, even at the expense of her career. Raising a child is the highest and best calling you can ever have. You can rebuild a career, but you cannot recreate these times of watching her crawl the first time, walk the first time, and so on.
I don't know what your job field is, but you can continue to network with colleagues to stay current and up to date. You can also take a look at working part-time to stay in the working world. Or you may have a marketable skill that would let you work from home and continue to grow professionally as well as personally.
Whatever your choice is I wish you much success. Please write back and let me know what you decide. I love to hear back from those who have written me.
