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About James Windell
Expertise
I can answer questions related to normal child development, disturbed behavior and how to provide appropriate guidance and discipline.

Experience
I've been a clinical psychologist in a juvenile court, worked in school settings, been a child psychotherapist in a private psychiatric clinic and consulted with schools, courts, hospitals and daycare centers.

Organizations
American Psychological Association
Michigan Psychological Association

Publications
I have been a columnist with the Oakland Press (Oakland County, MI) for 21 years writing a weekly column called Coping With Kids, which is also published weekly in the Staten Island Advance. I have been a mental health columnist with the Detroit Free Press and a columnist for Working Mother Magazine. In addition, I have published articles in professional journals. I have published 12 books, among them are "8 Weeks to a Well-Behaved Child" (IDG Books), "Discipline: A Sourcebook of 50 Failsafe Techniques for Parents" (IDG Books); "Children Who Say No When You Want Them to Say Yes" (IDG Books), "What You Need to Know About Ritalin" (Bantam Books) and "6 Steps to an Emotionally Intelligent Teenagers" (John Wiley & Sons). My latest two books, both published in 2006 are "The Fatherstyle Advantage" (Stewart, Tabori & Chang) and "Defusing High Conflict Divorce" (Impact Publishers). Articles about my work with parents has appeared in the New York Times, the Chicago Sun Times, the Detroit News and the Detroit Free Press. My website at Jameswindell.com includes more information about me, my books and includes many columns I've written.

Education/Credentials
B.A. in Psychology from Wayne State University
M.A. in Clinical Psychology from Oakland University

Awards and Honors
Best Educational Program by Juvenile and Family Court Judges Association (National award for the development of a parent training program for parents of delinquent teenagers. Beth Clark Service Award from the Michigan Psychological Association.

 
   

You are here:  Experts > Parenting/Family > Parenting of Multiples > Parenting--Toddlers/Infants/Pre-Schoolers > 18 month old

Parenting--Toddlers/Infants/Pre-Schoolers - 18 month old


Expert: James Windell - 11/3/2009

Question
Hi,
I have an 18 month old grandson whom I adore, but he's definitely a pincher and scratcher. He pinches his family and now has began pinching the toddlers at daycare. He's an energetic, happy, and very much loved child, so I'm confused about what could cause this behavior?


Answer
Hello Tracy,
It's simple. He pinches and scratches because he's a toddler.
Toddlers do all sorts of things (like pinching, scratching, biting, kicking, hitting, and spitting# because they have not learned to control their emotions or their behavior. They may not even have quite learned yet that such behavior is wrong. These are things everyone learns during the toddler years between 12 months and about three years or so.
The simple, but not easy, answer to this kind of aggressive behavior is to teach him other, more appropriate behaviors. Again, that is the job of parents and caregivers during the toddler years. It's all about teaching.
If he scratches or pinches, tell him that it hurts and show him a better behavior #loving and gently stroking, for instance). Have him try the more appropriate behavior and give him praise for doing it right.
Learning does not take place immediately. It requires weeks and months, and often requires constant repetition. But sooner or later children catch on and show the results of the patient and loving teaching during the toddler years.
Any questions?
James Windell

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