Parenting--Toddlers/Infants/Pre-Schoolers/georges doesnt want to go to school


georges is my nephew. he will get his 3 years next month, he started school 3 weeks ago. he had never been in a day care. he used to spend the days at his grandmother's until my sister finishes work. he was a happy secure kid, until he started going to school. i know it is a big change in his life. his mother can't drop him in school or pick him up from there, so he is going with the school bus. he cried in the first few days every morning, then he stopped crying but in the evenings he expressed that he feels sad at school and doesn't want to school and he doesn't like the school bus and he wants to go with daddy . although the teacher says he is doing fine. in the last week he had fever, and he didn't go to school and he is bed wetting whereas he was not doing it 6 months ago, and he is crying a lot at home, and he looks sad and worried all the time and ask every now and then that there is no school tomorrow...his mother is tired and doesn't know what to do. I am worried about it to, what is the best to do?? can  youplease help?

Hello Iouna,

 I can't tell you what is best to do, because this boy's parents must make that decision. But I can point out the choices.
 Some children are ready to go to a daycare center or preschool when they are two or three years of age. But, on the other hand, some children are not ready. Your nephew doesn't seem to care for the experience of riding on the bus or going to school. And his bedwetting suggests he is anxious and upset about going to school. Therefore, one choice is to allow him to stay home (or at his grandmother's# for another year. In terms of his academic preparation for school, keeping him home for another year will not harm him in any way. In a year, he will be more mature and may be ready to go to school.
On the other hand, the other choice, is to keep him in school. He seems to do well at school and gets over his initial fears or anxieties when he arrives at school and begins interacting with other children. But, if he doesn't make the adjustment, which means if he doesn't stop bedwetting and is able to go to school without sadness and without talking about not liking school, in the next two months, then I think the first option #keeping him home for another year) might be the best choice.

I hope this helps. Let me know if you have further questions.

Best wishes,

James Windell


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James Windell


I can answer questions related to normal child development, disturbed behavior and how to provide appropriate guidance and discipline.


I've been a clinical psychologist in a juvenile court, worked in school settings, been a child psychotherapist in a private psychiatric clinic and consulted with schools, courts, hospitals and daycare centers.

American Psychological Association
Michigan Psychological Association

I have been a columnist with the Oakland Press (Oakland County, MI) for 21 years writing a weekly column called Coping With Kids, which is also published weekly in the Staten Island Advance. I have been a mental health columnist with the Detroit Free Press and a columnist for Working Mother Magazine. In addition, I have published articles in professional journals. I have published 16 books, among them are "8 Weeks to a Well-Behaved Child" (IDG Books), "Discipline: A Sourcebook of 50 Failsafe Techniques for Parents" (IDG Books); "Children Who Say No When You Want Them to Say Yes" (IDG Books), "What You Need to Know About Ritalin" (Bantam Books) "6 Steps to an Emotionally Intelligent Teenagers" (John Wiley & Sons), "The Fatherstyle Advantage" (Stewart, Tabori & Chang) and "Defusing High Conflict Divorce" (Impact Publishers). My latest parenting book (2012) is "The Everything Child Psychology and Development Book." Articles about my work with parents has appeared in the New York Times, the Chicago Sun Times, the Detroit News and the Detroit Free Press. My website at includes more information about me, my books and includes many columns I've written.

B.A. in Psychology from Wayne State University
M.A. in Clinical Psychology from Oakland University

Awards and Honors
Best Educational Program by Juvenile and Family Court Judges Association (National award for the development of a parent training program for parents of delinquent teenagers. Beth Clark Service Award from the Michigan Psychological Association.

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