Parenting--Toddlers/Infants/Pre-Schoolers/daughters behavior at school


I have a 6 year old daughter and twice this week in school has had a couple of incidents. The first one was cutting her hair because someone said they would give her a dollar. This was a big amount of hair cut. The second incident is she pulled her pants down in the classroom today.  Concerned and am wanting any advice I can get to help her through these behavior tendancies.  Thank you

Hello Kimberly,
This is an example of the poor judgment and mistakes that young elementary students make. You did not say that she has a history of using bad judgment nor that she has a history of behavior problems, so I assume that generally she uses fairly good judgment.
It is important to let her know your expectations and what kinds of standards she should follow when making decisions at school or when she's with her peers. For instance, you can tell her that you expect that she will use good judgment when she's at school or around other children. You can say that you expect her to stop and think about what might happen when she is tempted to do something that she knows to be against the rules.
Furthermore, you can let her know that what she did (in these two instances) was inappropriate and you expect that she will not do those things again. You can tell her that you usually trust her and that you have confidence that she will use good judgment in the future and make good decisions. And you can tell her that you think she will make you proud in the future by making smart decisions.
I hope this helps. Do you have any further questions?
James Windell


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James Windell


I can answer questions related to normal child development, disturbed behavior and how to provide appropriate guidance and discipline.


I've been a clinical psychologist in a juvenile court, worked in school settings, been a child psychotherapist in a private psychiatric clinic and consulted with schools, courts, hospitals and daycare centers.

American Psychological Association
Michigan Psychological Association

I have been a columnist with the Oakland Press (Oakland County, MI) for 21 years writing a weekly column called Coping With Kids, which is also published weekly in the Staten Island Advance. I have been a mental health columnist with the Detroit Free Press and a columnist for Working Mother Magazine. In addition, I have published articles in professional journals. I have published 16 books, among them are "8 Weeks to a Well-Behaved Child" (IDG Books), "Discipline: A Sourcebook of 50 Failsafe Techniques for Parents" (IDG Books); "Children Who Say No When You Want Them to Say Yes" (IDG Books), "What You Need to Know About Ritalin" (Bantam Books) "6 Steps to an Emotionally Intelligent Teenagers" (John Wiley & Sons), "The Fatherstyle Advantage" (Stewart, Tabori & Chang) and "Defusing High Conflict Divorce" (Impact Publishers). My latest parenting book (2012) is "The Everything Child Psychology and Development Book." Articles about my work with parents has appeared in the New York Times, the Chicago Sun Times, the Detroit News and the Detroit Free Press. My website at includes more information about me, my books and includes many columns I've written.

B.A. in Psychology from Wayne State University
M.A. in Clinical Psychology from Oakland University

Awards and Honors
Best Educational Program by Juvenile and Family Court Judges Association (National award for the development of a parent training program for parents of delinquent teenagers. Beth Clark Service Award from the Michigan Psychological Association.

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