Parenting--Toddlers/Infants/Pre-Schoolers/My 5 year old son pees on in his bedroom

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Question
Hello. I have a problem with my son urinating on the carpeted floor of his bedroom.
My 5 year old son was tough to toilet train, but he got there just after his 4th birthday. We had no problems with it until recently, just before his 5th birthday where he began urinating on the floor in his bedroom. There seemed to be a connection with him peeing on the floor on the nights where he didn't want to go to sleep. I used non-punitive punishments such as skipping the bedtime story to try to get him to go to bed on time. About a half hour after being 'told off', my son would pee on the floor. I have caught him in the act, calmly peeing on the wall or carpet and afterward he has expressed remorse and embarrassment, even making jokes.
My son's father works away from home, and has since he was born, but there doesn't seem to be a pattern with my husband coming home. It seems to be a rebellious act when I get angry when he won't go to bed on time. We have a routine, but he rebels against it constantly. I have tried staying calm, and it helps for a while, until he pushes the boundaries too far and I feel I have to discipline him to go to sleep. Then he retaliates by doing this. Please help us!

Answer
Hi,

What time does he go to bed? Is he in primary school or has he changed teachers at preschool?

It seems to be intermittent and not a habit which is probably a good thing as it will be easy to break.  We may not know why he does it but we can look at alternatives if you can tell me a little more about the routine and how he constantly rebels against it.

You say it is on nights when he doesn't want to go to sleep. Is there a reason he is not as tired on those nights? Is he thinking about something that is going to happen the next day, is he afraid or excited about something the next day?  Is the routine at school going to be different the next day, maybe they have an incursion happening?
How have you caught him in the act?  What have you done when you have caught him? You mention he has expressed remorse and embarrassment but jokes about it? Did you mean to say he hasn't expressed remorse? What are the jokes?  

I realise you need your down time so maybe there are things we can look at.

I will be happy to help, I'm sorry for all the questions I just need to understand a little more so the strategies can suit your situation with your son.

I look forward to hearing more. Kind regards, Eleanor  

Parenting--Toddlers/Infants/Pre-Schoolers

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Eleanor Formaggio

Expertise

I can answer questions where practical advice is sought in relation to behaviour issues of 2-10 year olds. I specifically look at the influence of personality in a child's behaviour and tailor advice to suit the individual child and parent. This is useful since not all children are the same. I can suggest techniques for tantrums, child aggression and sibling rivalry and adapting to change.

Experience

I am a counsellor and child behaviour consultant based in Sydney, Australia and mum to three boys ages 12,10 and 6. I have been involved in setting up and facilitating community support groups for new mothers and run parenting workshops so parents can better understand their children's behaviour. I have spent alot of time observing personality differences in children and understanding how these differences can be used to make parenting easier. I developed the Early Childhood Personality Rating Scale for identifying child personality types in children as young as two. I am the founder of Parent with Potential and developed the Prechooler Personality Kit and READ personality system for primary aged children. More info can be found at www.thechildrenscounsellor.com.au

Publications
Book: In this Present Moment: Quality Time Ideas for busy parents.

Education/Credentials
I have a Bachelors Degree in Applied Social Science (Counselling).

Past/Present Clients
Parents of 2-8 year olds. Mothers with Postnatal Depression or anxiety attending a support group or seeking individual counselling or advice in relation to their child's behaviour.

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