Parenting--Toddlers/Infants/Pre-Schoolers/6 yrs old

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Question
Hello Elizabeth,

I am a bit concerned about my 6 yrs old daughter. She wakes up every night to come and sleep with me crying that she needs me.If I am sleeping with her she wakes up several times in the night and hugs me.(I work full time)

She is good at reading and phonic sounds but I feel she is not very quick in maths or even remembering concepts. I tell her your 5 fingers always means 5 you don't have to count them each time. Since her year 1 started they are learning about bonds but she does not seem to get the concept. Several times I have told her what is before and after in context to number line. But she cant remember.Her maths level in school is medium.

I don't know if both the above issues are related or my daughter is a bit slow in understanding. She is not very expressive and wont give details of what happened in the day , but is quick to cry and is shy.

Answer
Hi Anu,

I think perhaps your daughter's personality that you described that she is quick to cry, shy and doesn't give you many details about her day is maybe related to why she also needs you to sleep with her.  
There is no easy way to stop this sleep issue except maybe to offer rewards if she sleeps without you or puts herself back to sleep when she wakes up.  The rewards would need to be discussed before she goes to bed and given the next morning, unfortunately, sometimes they are in such a habit that not even rewards will stop this night time behaviour but it may be worth a try. The only other way is to ignore it as you would do with baby sleep issues but that is difficult when they can get out of bed etc.

I think her maths sounds fine for her age and if she is on medium level that would be average and with some practice and gentle encouragement this could improve with age and time. If you push too hard she may just give up and think it is too hard so rather set up little maths tasks as practice and continue to go through them like you have been.  Sometimes children take a long time with a concept and then suddenly they get it one day.  Also try to encourage her with what she is doing well in maths maybe times tables etc. so she doesn't just feel like she is getting things wrong all the time.   

Thank you for your question. Kind regards, Eleanor  

Parenting--Toddlers/Infants/Pre-Schoolers

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Eleanor Formaggio

Expertise

I can answer questions where practical advice is sought in relation to behaviour issues of 2-10 year olds. I specifically look at the influence of personality in a child's behaviour and tailor advice to suit the individual child and parent. This is useful since not all children are the same. I can suggest techniques for tantrums, child aggression and sibling rivalry and adapting to change.

Experience

I am a counsellor and child behaviour consultant based in Sydney, Australia and mum to three boys ages 12,10 and 6. I have been involved in setting up and facilitating community support groups for new mothers and run parenting workshops so parents can better understand their children's behaviour. I have spent alot of time observing personality differences in children and understanding how these differences can be used to make parenting easier. I developed the Early Childhood Personality Rating Scale for identifying child personality types in children as young as two. I am the founder of Parent with Potential and developed the Prechooler Personality Kit and READ personality system for primary aged children. More info can be found at www.thechildrenscounsellor.com.au

Publications
Book: In this Present Moment: Quality Time Ideas for busy parents.

Education/Credentials
I have a Bachelors Degree in Applied Social Science (Counselling).

Past/Present Clients
Parents of 2-8 year olds. Mothers with Postnatal Depression or anxiety attending a support group or seeking individual counselling or advice in relation to their child's behaviour.

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