Parenting--Toddlers/Infants/Pre-Schoolers/Big problems..


My son just turned 3, has been the typical wild boy from day 1, but usually when asked he behaves as I expect him to and is very polite. Always using his manners without being told to.

But lately we have been having BIG issues. I stay home, for schooling, a while back I was watching a neighbors little boy who is almost 4. But I had to stop watching him, he was kicked out of daycare but I was never really told why. Simply put, the child is a demonic brat.. I cant even list the things he did in the short 2 weeks I watched him, as the list is a mile long.

He was very defiant and a biter, also would hit and choke. My son now is having issues at our gym daycare. I have no issues, neither does my husband. But there he will try and bite, kick and just not listen. He is spitting and throwing toys at kids. If I sit in there he is good, when I leave he becomes awful. I just don't know how to stop this behavior and it sucks because I pay 100$ a month for a membership that I cant even use because of my 3 year old.

Sorry to hear you are having this problem Amber.   Sadly kids who misbehave get more attention than others.   It is not unusual for the well behaved kids to try it on for attention.   The trick is not giving it too much attention but of course when he is not with you someone else is responding to the issue.   The first question would be does your son like going to the child care there?  if so, you can use that for leverage if not you need to find some other currency that has pull with him, such as a favorite toy or activity.  Explain to him his behavior at the gym care is unacceptable and if he behaves that way there will be a consequence of loosing a toy, playing alone in his room for the time you would have been there had you gone etc.  Before you go to the gym, give him the power to deiced and think about it before he goes and ask if he will be playing with his best toy, or be playing alone instead of going to the gym etc.   The idea is to be pre corrective.   Tell the care worker to call you if he acts up but not to say or do anything to him accept to separate him if needed.   When you get there, shake your head, say so sad, no lectures and go home and follow through with the consequence.   He knows he is behaving poorly so he does not need a stern talking to, your actions of removing a toy or having to play in his room will be enough to let him know it's not ok.   The key is not giving him a lot of attention for what he is doing.   I suspect the other little boy you described got a lot of attention for what he did initially and it can become a horrible nonproductive habit for kids who need better follow through.   If he was told no no over and over yet had no meaningful consequence he basically was trained to get attention or what he wants that way.   You don't want that to happen to you son, so be clear, swift and follow through and the behaviors will not last long.  This is not uncommon for the well behaved kids try on being naughty, the key is not reenforcing it with empty attention.   I hope this helps, if you more questions, feel free to ask.  Good luck, hopefully you won't have this problem in a week.   


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Elizabeth Norris


I would like to help you raise children who are respectful and responsible and who seek positive outcomes for themselves and their interactions with others. Each child has their own learning style and each family has their own individual culture. I look for creative ways to address problems or concerns that arise when guiding young children. I am an Early Childhood Special Education teacher and work providing support and ideas to families of young children in the home. I have an understanding of typical and delayed development and can identify red flags in children who can benefit from specialized services. I also teach positive parenting courses to help parents understand why children misbehave and to develop strategies to effectively respond to those behaviors while honoring individual family values. I have a specific interest in children labeled as difficult, attention deficit or oppositional defiant. I am committed to finding ways children can positively participate in family or community activities. I empathize with children who donít feel they are fitting in and for parents who worry and feel criticized. I have a sense of humor and look for ways to reduce frustration and to foster playful interactions.


As a young child I experienced learning disabilities and had trouble fitting in. I was later diagnosed as dyslexic. My own daughter experienced similar issues and we were simultaneously diagnosed with attention deficit disorder. I have enjoyed working with children, especially those with special needs, for over 30 years. I have provided respite care, emergency foster care coached special Olympics and taught adaptive aquatics. I Worked full time as a classroom aide in a high school special education classroom prior to earning my teaching certificate. I have taught 5th grade, kindergarten and both integrated and self contained special education preschool classes. I have consulted to private preschools and Head Start classrooms regarding mainstreaming children with special needs. I currently work as an Early Childhood Special Education Teacher and provide home visits to families of developmentally delayed children ages birth to three. I am familiar with programs available to support families who have special education needs. I am particularly interested in supporting children labeled as difficult and fostering supportive environments for learning. I teach positive parenting courses in rural communities.

Parenting with Love and Logic INC. Special Olympics

Good Day Bad Day an inspirational story published in the book Why I Teach.

BS Elementary Education University of Oregon 1989 45 hours of graduate coursework in Special Education Oregon Educational Association certified in Early Childhood Special Education. Various teaching strategies and programs for language, cognitive, motor and social development. Strategies to assist families with children who demonstrate challenging behaviors. Parenting with Love and Logic facilitator.

Awards and Honors
Graduated University of Oregon with honors 1989

Past/Present Clients
Public regular education classrooms. Children and families with developmental disabilities. Children and families with behavior challenges. Parents who want to learn new parenting strategies. Parents who are court ordered to attend behavior management courses. Consultation to private and public preschool programs. Professional development to teachers.

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