AboutJames Windell Expertise I can answer questions related to normal child development, disturbed behavior and how to provide appropriate guidance and discipline.
Experience I've been a clinical psychologist in a juvenile court, worked in school settings, been a child psychotherapist in a private psychiatric clinic and consulted with schools, courts, hospitals and daycare centers.
Organizations American Psychological Association
Michigan Psychological Association
Publications I have been a columnist with the Oakland Press (Oakland County, MI) for 21 years writing a weekly column called Coping With Kids, which is also published weekly in the Staten Island Advance. I have been a mental health columnist with the Detroit Free Press and a columnist for Working Mother Magazine. In addition, I have published articles in professional journals. I have published 12 books, among them are "8 Weeks to a Well-Behaved Child" (IDG Books), "Discipline: A Sourcebook of 50 Failsafe Techniques for Parents" (IDG Books); "Children Who Say No When You Want Them to Say Yes" (IDG Books), "What You Need to Know About Ritalin" (Bantam Books) and "6 Steps to an Emotionally Intelligent Teenagers" (John Wiley & Sons). My latest two books, both published in 2006 are "The Fatherstyle Advantage" (Stewart, Tabori & Chang) and "Defusing High Conflict Divorce" (Impact Publishers). Articles about my work with parents has appeared in the New York Times, the Chicago Sun Times, the Detroit News and the Detroit Free Press.
My website at Jameswindell.com includes more information about me, my books and includes many columns I've written.
Education/Credentials B.A. in Psychology from Wayne State University
M.A. in Clinical Psychology from Oakland University
Awards and Honors Best Educational Program by Juvenile and Family Court Judges Association (National award for the development of a parent training program for parents of delinquent teenagers. Beth Clark Service Award from the Michigan Psychological Association.
Question My daughter and I are concerned about the extremely bad temper tantrums of her 14 month old baby boy. Simply carrying him into a room where he doesn't want to go can trigger a 45 to 60 minute tantrum. He cries and shrieks so long and loudly that he can hardly breathe and bangs his head on the floor, recently opening a gash on his forehead. But sometimes just carrying him outside or putting him in the car will stop the tantrum. My daughter doesn't know where to begin to research what might be going on. Physical problem? Some kind of emotional problem? Let him cry? Take him to an expert? Would like to hear what you have to say and would appreciate hearing about any books or other resources that might help us understand what is going on and/or what to do. Thank you.
Answer Hello Andrea,
I can understand the concern of both you and your daughter. Terrible temper tantrums can be distressing.
My guess, however, is that there is nothing particularly wrong with her 14-month-old toddler. Often, because of a set of temperamental traits, some children have more intense temper tantrums than others.
I suggest your daughter read as much as she can about toddlers so that she understands what is normal. For instance, my book "Children who Say No When You Want them to Say Yes" can be useful, and there are several other books about toddlers ("The Emotional Life of Toddlers," etc.) which can be useful. My book gives instructions for dealing with one- and two-year-olds, particularly those who might be more challenging.
If your daughter hasn't taken her baby to the pediatrician lately, it might reassure her to find that there is nothing physically wrong with him -- but she may need to rule out any physical causes.
I think often parents of toddlers are too impatient and overly concerned about temper tantrums. They usually decrease in frequency by age three, and certainly by age four. In the meantime, you learn to anticipate what sets them off and try to avoid those situations -- at least when he's most tired or irritable. And it's best to try to find ways to lessen the intensity of tantrums. Some parents find that walking, going outside, singing, calm talking and distraction can all work at times for some toddlers.
I hope this helps. Overall, I believe that patience is the best attribute for parents of toddlers. If you have other questions, please let me know.
Best,
James Windell
