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You are here: Experts > Kids > Health for Kids > Pediatrics > pronoun confusion in my 3.5 year old: his/her
Pediatrics - pronoun confusion in my 3.5 year old: his/her
Expert: Sharon Rosen Lopez - 10/29/2009
Question
My 3.5 year old son has good language skills generally. He uses long sentences (6-8 words or more) and is mostly comprehensible. He does tend to make up words, especially when he doesn't know the answer to a question. I've noticed that he will confuse "he/she" and "his/her" in his speech. For example, "my bear ate her cereal then put on his shoes". If I ask what whether the bear is a girl or boy bear, he'll pick one, but still mix up the pronouns. He knows that he himself is a boy. Is this normal?
He recently had short a speech screening done, which was normal, but the therapist mentioned he should be screened for possible cognitive issues. (He's on a waiting list for that and a hearing test.) He was answering her questions with a question. For example: she pointed to picture of duck in a book and asked "What does the duck say?" Him: "What?" or a somewhat irrelevant answer like "The duck is swimming in the pond." (He knows a duck says quack.) Otherwise he seems on track -- knows his colors, can count to 15 and points to one object at a time when counting them, knows some letters and their sounds, likes pretend play and dress-up, feeds himself, tries to brush his own teeth. He has a little trouble with fine motor, especially drawing, but he's making progress on that.
Answer
Hi Rachel,
Male/female pronouns are commonly acquired in chidlren between the ages of 3 and 4 years, and confusion of he'she is definitely not in itself of concern in a 3.5 year old! I am abit confused though by what you've written about the speech therapist recommending a cognitive evaluation based on your son's extraneous responses to questions. Difficulty answering questions is a linguistic skill, and if that is problematic for him, then perhaps a comprehensive speech/language evaluation is needed.
The cognitive skills we look for in children between the ages of two and four years are symbolic development, the ability to perform mental operations, problem solving and learning. You've described your son as having alot of capabilities generally, and these reveal his cognitive strengths -- he knows colors, counts to 15, counts objects, enjoys pretend play, has learned some letters and their sounds (wow!), and he produces lengthy, compound sentences. There are neurodevelopmental (sorry for that big word) constructs also that we watch -- attention, memory, motivation -- and we see these variably reflected in a child's play, their speech and language skills, as well as in their visual-motor skills.
When your son's speech and language skills were assessed, the results indicated that all was "normal" though it was noted that he responded erroneously to questions. Do you see this at home when you ask your son questions as well -- that he will repeat a part of the question or make a tangential comment rather than a topical response? And if this is typical for him, is it constant or sporadic? Are you noticing that he responds erroneously when he's distracted from listening, or when he doesn't feel like responding, or is it all of the time? I'm wondering about your son's language comprehension skills generally. Does your son follow novel and complex commands -- 'put your cup on the table, and then go get your shoes and your jacket! Does he understand the stories you read to him? Can he answer your questions and respond to your comments about the stories? Does he enjoy watching television, and understand what he hears being said? If your son's only difficulty in language comprehension is evidenced in his making sporadic, tangential responses to questions, do you think that inattention or lack of motivation are perhaps causal to this breakdown in his responsiveness? The frequency of your son's difficulties in responding to questions will impact whether or not he needs speech therapy! Definitely the ability to respond to questions is important and needs to be understood and facilitated as need be: we like to see children respond fairly consistently and promptly.
There are many ways of doing child language screenings and assessments. It is definitely crucial to see a child's overt performance -- what (s)he understands and what (s)he says. Then, if a difficulty is noted during the screening, it's also important to try to uncover where the breakdown is. When I assess a child who evidences difficulties in either speaking or listening, I look to see not only their performance, but also their capabilities -- what they are able to do, and-- equally important--when they are able to do it! It's by teasing out the discrepancies between performance and capabilities that I am often able to have a sense of why there is a problem, which leads me to an understanding of what I can do to help resolve the problem.
I'm glad to read that you're having your son's hearing tested. I'm uncertain as to why there was a cognitive evaluation recommended when the difficulties your son evidenced during the screening were language-related. You may want to follow through with the speech/language pathologist who did the screening to understand more precisely why she is recommending a cognitive evaluation.
I hope this note is helpful!
Sharon Rosen Lopez, MA, CCC-SLP
Speech/Language Pathologist
http://www.SpeechSkillsForKids.com
http://www.SpeechArts.com
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