You are here:

Pediatrics/toileting issues


My son was toilet trained though he always wanted me or my husband to go with him to the toilet. Sometimes he'd initiate but other times we took him which maybe was a mistake. He went great outside the house #1, wont do #2 outside the house and then waffled and wouldn't do #1.  We finally got him to do #1 outside the home but not #2.  Before school started he was fine doing #1 outside the house. Not #2. He would rather hold it in or suffer a belly ache if it were really pressing. Clearly he's a little compulsive, we get that.  He really didn't like his new school and they were not good to him but that's another story. He started the year going but stopped. They didn't tell me.  Then when it became known they started high pressure. My son came home rebelling here too. He started to pee on the floor in the bathroom. When I told him he couldn't, he stopped peeing entirely. He was very willing to accept any consequence. He started peeing at school but in bits not normally. At home he does #2 and of course #1 comes out but he wont do #1 otherwise unless we're out. He wants to pee on the floor to make a point. I was tempted to let him do this and ignore it thinking it would get tired but I dont want to send that message either because it's not okay.  Any ideas on how to diffuse this? any ideas also on how maybe to do #2 outside the house. He is in 1st grade, on the young side but he's not a baby. I feel badly that he didnt like school though it has gotten better. But I am stuck with the battle at home which I never had before. As I said, he initiates outside the home most of the time (oddly, not in school Im told) and inside the house we typically took him. He'd initiate at the last minute. I know this was a mistake as was going with him (though it seems to me some parents still go in to help w wiping). I would really love to hear ANY advice here even if it means going back to basics.

Hi Sharon,

Since he is toilet trained, this is clearly a behavioral issue...Such issues can't be tackled by force, inducements, punishments..and you can never, never win battles with a these smart kids!!

The best strategy is just explaining him one last time (and it has to be the last time) clearly what is expected of him. Explain to him that it is expected of him that he goes to toilet daily himself and you are not going to tell him about it from now on. He is a "big boy"/ "good boy" now and doesn't need any daily instructions on that count. And after this, just stop all discussions on the topic. Pretend that you are not at all bothered about it. Do not even mention the topic again. And when he misbehaves, best punishment is "time out" for 5 minutes.

Expect improvement in next 2-4 weeks...If it is taking longer than this, do take help of child counselor/ psychologist to resolve the issue.

Best wishes,
Dr. Puneet Kumar,
Kumar Child Clinic, Dwarka,
New Delhi, India



All Answers

Answers by Expert:

Ask Experts


Dr. Puneet Kumar


I would be happy to answer general queries on prevention and treatment of ailments in newborn, infant, toddler, child or an adolescent. Needless to say, it will not be possible to answer any query that requires diagnosing, since it is not possible to examine a child online.


I have worked in various capacities (medical officer, resident, senior resident, consultant) in public as well as private sector in Pediatrics and Neonatology. Today, I have over 17 years of experience in the field.

Currently, I am running my own clinic (Kumar Child Clinic) in Dwarka, New Delhi and am attached to Lifeline Hospital, Dwarka as consultant pediatrics and neonatology. I am also developing my clinic website into a comprehensive child health/ parenting website (

(a) Chapter "National Immunization Schedule" in Frontiers of Social Pediatrics, Jaypee Publishers: 2nd edition, 2016. (b) Article, "All about Pertussis vaccines" in special issue of Indian Journal of Practical Pediatrics, July-Sept 2015 (c) Three chapters (DTP vaccines, Pneumococcal vaccines and Poliovirus vaccines) in "Textbook of Pediatrics for Post-graduates" First edition: 2015. (c) Chapter: "Alternative delivery methods of vaccines" in IAP textbook of Vaccines, First edition, 2014 (published by IAP/ Jaypee Brothers) (d) Special Article: "50 years of Immunization in India: Progress and Future" in January 2013 issue of Indian Pediatrics (e) Four chapters in "FAQ: Book on Vaccines and Immunization Practices" First edition, 2011 AND 2nd edition, 2015 published by Jaypee Brothers. (f) Three articles in special issue of Journal of Pediatric Sciences on “Controversies and Challenges in Pediatric Vaccination Today" in Sept, 2010. Co-edited the series also. (f) Regular column, “How do I treat” in Pediascene ( (g) Review article, “Role of Anti-Poliovirus Agents in Polio eradication and beyond” in Polio Pulse, April, 2008. (h) Chapter on “Acute Infectious Diarrhea” in Textbook of Infectious Diseases in Children. (An IAP Publication), 2007. 2nd edition in 2011. (i) Book-Review (IAP Pediatric Drug Formulary, 2004) in Pediascene, March 2005 ( ) (j) Case-report on Osteopetrosis. Jharkhand Journal of Pediatrics, Dec-2002.

After MBBS, I have done DNB residency in Pediatrics.

Awards and Honors
Winner of IAP practising pediatrician's quiz in 2001.

©2017 All rights reserved.