	AllExperts > Pentecostals
	Search

About Dennis Girardi
Expertise
I can answer questions on family issues from the christian stand point. What to watch. What to do for fun. What to listen to. What to stay away from. I can help you build a strong relationship with your children and your spouse. I can help you with the child that has special needs. God first. Family second. Job third. I can also assist in fund-raising ideas and church events. I can also help you with ideas on church musicals and dramas.

Experience
I have been married for almost 20 years, and have three beautiful daughters. One of my daughters is a Special Education student. I was a youth leader and have directed many dramas and have written many musicals with my wife directing. I have raised funds for our church for over 25 years.

Organizations
I coached baseball and travel hockey.

Education/Credentials
I have completed High School and have taken many college classes.

You are here: Experts > Religion/Spirituality > Christianity - Protestantism > Pentecostals > relationships, how far is too far?

Pentecostals - relationships, how far is too far?

Expert: Dennis Girardi - 11/3/2009

Question
Hello! I am a girl who grew up in a christian family. I have always been going to church, a pentecostal one, even if I find the act of going to church not really as the thing which makes us christians, but rather the belief in Jesus christ does. However, I started doubting so much recently. I find many things within the religion so strange, some things rather condemning than forgiving. It is a long story with different questions I have been thinking about, some I have got answers on, others not. Mostly I have seen the great difference between church and belief. Christianity today seems so far from what the Bible says to begin with, and for many things the church talk about I do not even know if it has any connection with the Bible. I do not anymore know what to believe, if I am a christian or not. However, this is not what my question is about right now. I have found myself a boyfriend, whom also is a christian, and I am very happy about this. He lives in another country than me, so we have a long distance relationship. We can not meet so often, but when we do we have to sleep over at eachothers place and stay for about a week or two. Since we live so far from eachothers also the culture is a bit different. For him it is normal, even among the christians, to sleep in the same bed. Not to have sex, but just to feel the near of eachother. For me it is a bit different. I know my friends and their boyfriends sleep mostly in different rooms when they visit eachothers. I have always heard, from when I was young that one shall not sleep in the same bed as the partner. But does the Bible really say anything about that? It talkes about sex before marriage, and so, but what about sleeping in the same bed, just because it is cozy? Both of us think it is way too early for sex, and we made up clear lines about what is good and what is bad, what we want to save for later. What leads to sex and what is just to snuggle. I myself can't find any reason why it would be wrong, but I still feel guilty, because I know my church and parents are against it. So now we would like to get a clear answer about it, can we sleep in the same bed, if it doesn't include lot of patting or sex? What do they Bible say about this (please give some clear passages), and why?

Answer
Hey Sanna,
There may not be a particular scripture that states it in "those words," but there are principles of modesty being violated. Also, how about the responsibility to refrain from conduct that would stumble others?

How would such an action be viewed by someone else. I don’t necessarily mean that your actions should be controlled by what other people think; they may think all sorts of things that they shouldn’t. The consideration is more about what they do as a result of what they think.

And what about the appearance of evil? Could this conduct draw bad attention, suspicion, giving people something of substance to gossip about? How about pursuing conduct and actions that are wholesome, upbuilding, and the like, that would fortify, not put to the test, others' faith?

If two of your friends were sleeping in the same bed, wouldn't you be a little suspicious? How would it look to you?

If your friends figure they can do the same thing, and sin as a result, then what you have done is wrong. If your actions cause another to sin, or even think they have sinned, you should be very careful about doing that thing, whatever it is.

There is nothing in the Bible that says that sleeping in the same bed is a sin, per say.

The passage on which I base this on, is Romans 14. In that chapter Paul says, among other things, that if a brother thinks that it is wrong to eat meat then it would be wrong to eat meat in front of him if by so doing you cause him to violate his conscience. Even if you are doing something that is not wrong, if by doing so you cause another to do what he thinks is sinful, then you have destroyed the work of God and acted unlovingly. How much more so if you actually cause him to commit a sin.

Don't go there..
Brother Dennis

Add to this Answer Ask a Question