Pentecostals/is wanting an apology wrong?


My husband and I have been together for 12 years. we have a 9 year old daughter.  
When we first met, we we're both very backslidden Christians.
When my daughter was born, I wanted to raise her properly in a Christian home with Christian values and go to church. I also wanted to be a real Christian.  
My husband didn't share the same idea and I became the victim of domestic violence for years until 2011. He didn't like my christian music or christian T.V. shows and I was not aloud to pray. He said that every time I prayed, he wanted to hurt me and kill me. He had no relationship with our daughter and she was scared to be alone with him. Everything was my fault according to him. I was impossible to love and he never touched me or even said my name. I was also not aloud to say his name.
I fasted and prayed so much for God to touch him and change him.
Last year the Lord revealed to me that he was having an affair and I confronted him on it. He admitted it and decided that he couldn't go on living like this. That night, he gave his life to the Lord and has been serving him ever since. He got baptized, studies the bible, writes christian articles, he has even become a youth leader in our church youth group. He has become a great father and very active in the church.
Until this day, he has never apologized to me for how he treated me. He still won't touch me or say "I love you". I am still so hurt and just an apology would mean so much to me.
Is it a sin for me to want an apology? If I forgave him, should an apology not matter to me?
God is so forgiving to sinners and He makes it so easy to get forgiveness from Him and change their lives around. That's one of the main teachings of Christianity is we are all sinners and God forgives and we get to live happily ever after in Heaven with
Him. Okay that's great but what about the victims? What does God have for me? I feel like I did all that fasting and praying and pleading to God for his salvation and I am grateful that the Lord answered me but I am still hurting and it's like a knife in the heart every time he comforts someone else and prays for others and loves them but he won't do it for me.
The ladies in the church tell me to suck it up and be patient but I just want to kill myself now and my husband doesn't seem to care. What does God have for me? And this is the thing too, because of the type of job I have, I can not tell anybody this.

Sis. Jennifer to simply be human is no sin! As fleshly occupants of this present world we all suffer from the frailties of this life. So to desire personal reconciliation between ourselves and others is not an unusual desire nor is it sinful. However we must put this and all other desires in proper context when applying them to spiritual matters. Your husband you say has repented and apparently been forgiven by Jesus for his past sins. As for as God is concerned they are gone forever more. They rest in the murky silt on the bottom of the sea of forgetfulness. They are as far from God as the East is from the West. When God forgives it is a perfect forgiveness. As His children we must extend that same kind of forgiveness to all He has granted it to. We must retain no more of the sin previously committed in remembrance in our hearts than God does in His. Such hurt retained is not truly forgiven. It will only fester and erupt its poison throughout our spiritual man. My advice to you is to comfort yourself with the fact that God has given you and your husband a renewed chance to be of service to Him having forgiven both of your past failures. No things will probably never be the same as they were prior to failures you both made in the eyes of God. No adult ever thinks again like they did as a child. Whatever you do please do not harbor a resentful spirit about this matter! In the end it will only cause you failure. Jesus is a man acquainted with sorrow so talk with Him and seek from Him as to how He forgave US for all our sins against Him, then endeavour to do like wise.


All Answers

Answers by Expert:

Ask Experts


Elder Ben Pullen


I can offer answers regarding Christian doctrine, if they are Bible based, and sincere. I will answer any and all questions but will not slide into useless argumentation. All of my experience has been as a pastor, evangelist, and teacher. I do not think I know all there is to be known about Christian faith and living, but will be willing to humbly discuss any topic dealing with these catagories.


I served as a home missions builder and pastor for over fifty years, during which I often confronted confused and destructive doctrine. I have been married to the same wonderful woman for fifty two years so feel I may be of help in marital questions. All questions will be answered strictly from a Bible perspective. My background includes experience in Baptist, Methodist, Lutheran, and nondenominational churches as a child and into my teens. Contrary to many others, I am thankful for all of my heritage and value lessons I learned all along the way.

Most of my spiritual education came from the school of Kneeology. I do have extensive Bible School experience and can speak a little Hebrew, Greek, and Latin as it was used in the original languages. I make no claim to being an expert in these languages but I certainly can field study question questions based on them. If I cannot answer questions from the stockpile of my experience and education, I will certainly seek the advice of others with more extensive education and experience.

©2017 All rights reserved.