Pentecostals/fear that i committed blashemy against the Holy Spirit in thought
i thought a bad word on the Holy Spirit a few years ago and i cant help but worry if this is counted against me. i have been through a lot of stress and anxiety that i sometimes cant eat or sleep. i am so tired of battling with this. i feel extremely bad about it and i want to know if thoughts are counted as sin or it depends on the intention. i did not in any way wish to harm Him! im not even sure why i allowed such a thought to enter in my mind! i believe that this was the devil tempting me and planting that! when a person really commits this sin, do they get a reprobate mind as a result?
My dearest Oksana, if passing bad thoughts constituted eternal damnation absolutely NO man would ever be saved! But let us go on to your question which is: "Have I committed the unpardonable sin?"!
In order to answer that question we first must thoroughly understand the question. The unpardonable sin is, as our Lord Jesus Christ explained,"Blasphemy against the Holy Ghost" To blaspheme is to deny the power of or to disrespect the holiness of God. Most people do not really understand what the term "holy ghost", or if you prefer, "holy spirit" really means. The Holy Ghost (my preferred wording or expression) means simply (In the Greek, ) Hagios (holy) Pneuma (puff of air). The Holy Ghost is then the prevailing wind of invisble power by which God has expressed Himself from the beginning of time. When God breathed into Adams nostrils, it was the hagios pneuma, the divine, puff of air from God that gave Adam life. This movement of power expressed as a movement of divine air can be as gentle as a soft spring breeze upon our faces to a terrible gale force destructive hurricane! Yet the Bible tell us that He (speaking of God) holds the mighty whirlwind in His hand. As we see from this then, to blaspheme the Holy Ghost means to totally deny, or cast disrespect in our hearts, and publicly so, upon the very movement of the power of God! From your question it is very obvious that you fear the power of God so therefore have not totally denied its existence.
How far does one need go to have denied this power? The Book og Hebrews is a good place to look for a better understanding of this. In it the author (Most think it was Paul) speaks about those Jewish converts who repented of their sins, were baptized in the mighty Name of Jesus Christ for remission of those sins and then as promised by God himself (Joel 2:28, Acts 2:38) received the indwelling gift of the Holy Ghost. The indwelling of the very power of God whereby their eternal salvation would be guaranteed. But the converts of whom Hebrews tells us reverted back away from the power of God given through the blood of Jesus Christ, to a dead system of formalized ritualistic religious practice. They denied and by their actions declared the moving power of God unnecessary! They blasphemed the Holy Ghost! The moving power of God that had actually dwelled within their hearts at one time! The author tells us that because they thus blasphemed the Holy moving power of God, to which they had surrendered at one time, and had so disrespected the power of God granted them, because of Gods giving His own Sons life for them, this was was equivalent to walking beneath their feet the blood of Jesus Christ whereby they had been save previously (counting it as worthy only to be cast beneath their soiled feet)! Because of this gross, willing and voluntary, blasphemy the author tells us it would be impossible to renew these guilty people back unto repentance which is the vital first step in the Christian salvation! They were then lost from Gods mercy for all eternity!
Those this still occur today? Yes it dose! And the eternal result will always be the same for all who commit this awful blasphemy! I do not think you have degraded your love of God nor His moving wind of spiritual power to a valueless, worthless, form of vain philosophy! And I think that you now can see that for yourself. But repent quickly and always remember that the road to damnation is taken one foot step at a time. It only gets easier to move one more step in the wrong direction with each one you take.
I hope this answer has been instructive for you and that you grow in health both in body and in spirit. If you should have other questions arise please simply call on me! Thank you. BKP