Pentecostals/Sex outside of marriage


I appreciate your candor on issues around your sexuality. I am very open theologically and wonder what you believe on the issue of sex outside of a committed relationship.  I grew up with the idea of monogamy but find that it's terribly difficult to avoid sex with various partners as a single young man attracted to other men. Is this something that I should stop as it may hinder my walk with my Lord?

Thanks again and God's blessing on you.


I can't tell you how much I appreciate your question.  I'm not going to quote you a lot of Bible verses as most everyone knows from the many church people eager to set everyone straight what the Scriptures say on the subject.  What they often omit are helpful things that would be beneficial to know in addition to Scripture.  

First of all, you are NOT alone!  Practically everyone (not matter how spiritual they want others to think they are), whether in thought or deed struggles with the parameter of never having a "dirty" thought, much less actually following through and doing the deed.  You're in good company.

Beyond that, let me share with you some thoughts on the matter that might help too.  In the end, ALL have fallen short of God's glory and NO ONE has the right to condemn or judge others.  Because of this, we ALL have to keep running back to the Throne of Grace over and over again for help, forgiveness and mercy.  No matter how many times you fail, never stop running back to Jesus for more of His cleansing and restoration.  This is foundational for the rest of your life.  

There are other things you need to consider.  Sin is more than breaking God's law.  
Sin is brokenness and dysfunction.  What is not healthy, uplifting and beneficial for the long term, cannot ultimately be from God.  He only gives us what is good for us spirit, soul and body.  Keep the big picture in mind, not just the immediate need for gratification.  Biblical principles apply here such as self sacrifice for a higher and eternal objective.  Satan is all too eager to supply what feels good at the moment but is destructive long term.  The law of sowing and reaping applies here too.  Also, we become spiritual one with those with whom we are intimate so that in itself is a huge consideration.  There are psychologically damaging effects of careless frequent sex.  It devalues your personhood as well as that of the other person.  Sexual addiction can result which is a bondage that is so terribly difficult to break.  We are often seeking a temporary "fix" or "high" to escape some unpleasant reality in our lives which again, is certainly not God's way.  Cheap, quick physical intimacy short circuits deeper, lasting human connections which is what God wants for us.  One can become consumed by looking for the next sexual thrill and be totally led astray from the purpose God has for our lives.  Choices have to be made.  We can't have it all, plain and simple.    The cross of Jesus has to be borne if we truly want to be His disciple.  I believe that God will supply our needs once we truly consecrate our lives to Him but that consecration will be and must be tested.  It reveals what's truly in our hearts.  Be careful about running rough shod over your conscience to the point that the conviction of the Holy Spirit becomes harder and harder to hear.  You truly want to live for the Lord or you would not have written me this question.  Surround yourself with others who share your love for Jesus and passion for doing His will in your life.  Don't best yourself up when you fail but on the other hand, don't give in to the temptation of thinking it doesn't matter what you do as long as you keep asking for forgiveness.  Each day lived in the flesh is a day you can't get back or do over.  You don't want to get to the end of your life where you're ready to face eternity and God and realize what a high price you paid for so little temporary benefit.  Do NOW what you'll be glad you did on THAT DAY!  We don't choose our orientation but we do choose how it will be managed.  You're being faithful in what God assigns to you in these small matters will determine how He can trust you with bigger issues in the future.  Don't live after the flesh and expect to have a close walk with God.  Sow to the Spirit and reap life everlasting.  God can and will supply your need of human companionship, love and intimacy if you'll put Him first in your life.    

I respect you and your question highly.  

Robert Morgan
Obey Acts 2:38


All Answers

Answers by Expert:

Ask Experts


Robert L. Morgan


I was raised as a 4th generation Pentecostal in an ordained Assemblies of God minister's home and educated for the ministry at an A/G Bible College. I transitioned into the United Pentecostal Church International and also attended one of their Bible Colleges. I have a balanced understanding of the Oneness/Trinity debate, water baptism in the Name of Jesus, grace versus legalism, the new birth, the differences between Charismatic, Apostolic, and Pentecostal, worship, church history and the evolution of Christian theology. I have also personally confronted the issue of same gender attraction often found among classical Pentecostals.


I have a deep passion for doctrine and history which I invested myself into heavily while pursuing my education. My entire life has been spent finding Scriptural balance with help provided by exposure to reputable ministries from across the spectrum of the modern Pentecostal and Charismatic movements.

Presently, I am the General Chairman and co-founder of the Global Alliance of Affimring Apostolic Pentecostals, an "affirming" organization dedicated to sharing truth as it is understood by Pentecostals with all people, including but not limited to gay people in their pursuit of God's fullness in their often challenging lives. I attend a multicultural United Pentecostal Church in Tampa, FL.

The Pentecostal Herald. I was also one of the featured subjects of an article written for Charisma Magazine in 2000 regarding the issue of Homosexuality and Christianity.

I graduated in 1983 from Southeastern University in Lakeland, FL (Assemblies of God) with a Bachelors degree in Theology and Pastoral Ministry. I also attended JacksonCollege of Ministries in Jackson, MS where I studied organ, piano and vocal music. I attended A/G churches all my life until 1985 when I fully transitioned in the United Pentecostal Church International. I held a General License with the UPC for several years before resigning to confront personal issues with which I was struggling.

©2017 All rights reserved.