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Personal Development/How bad does this look?


Hi, thank you for reading my question. I am a 36 year old female who went back to school later in life (after working straight out of college for 6 years). I did that for four years, and then the career mess started.  

I tried to get a career in the field I studied for a year. No luck. So, I thought I might as well do my masters instead of sitting around. When I finally got a job, I put my masters on hold. When that job didn't pan out, I went back and started it again. When that didn't work (long story short, I got mislead into the wrong program), I was back looking for work. Got another job. Nine months into that, management took a slide and I was the seventh person to quit in a span of four months.

Since I was 19 years old, I have wanted to do one very specific type of work. I have been trying to get interviews with companies for the last 5 years. No luck at all. I sort of gave up on it, especially since I was content with the company I'm at now. I mean, it's not my ideal job, but I grew to really enjoy it. Well, as luck would have it, as soon as I got comfortable and accepted the fact I would be doing what I'm doing and staying where I am for a long time, two companies approached me that specifically do what I've wanted to do for most of my life.

While I'm super excited, I feel like it just looks bad. I've had three different jobs in four years. I do like the company  I'm at now, but nothing compares to the excitement and thrill of the potential of doing what I've always been passionate about.

Now, the other problem. The two companies that I am interviewing with. The one is my absolute ideal dream job and company. Let's just say I get an offer from both places. My ideal job probably won't make a decision and offer for a good three or four months. The other company will more than likely be within a month or so. What happens if I get an offer from this one , take it, then get an offer from my ideal job three months after starting?  Now that would look bad. But , there's no guarantee. I wouldn't want to give up the possibility of doing what I am so passionate about just so I don't job hop again.

What should I do?  



Hi May,

It's nice to get questions from home (Ontario).

You know, May, I think you need to pull back and get a different perspective here.  You have had a passionate goal for 17 years now.  You tried to go after it but roadblocks seemed to get in your way.  Your solution was to improve your education even further and go for your masters.  Other roadblocks came in your way and you again adapted.  From one job to another, when there was a problem you moved on and even managed to find work that you are not unhappy about, though we both know it has nothing to do with your passion.

I think it is safe to say that you have become a very good problem solver.  You know how to adapt and even make the best of a not so best situation.  I'm suggesting, May, that you have taken what life has given you and made the best of things.  That is a talent, it is an attitude, and it is a strength!  Many others would not have been able to manage to make the best of it like you have.

So the problem, the little pebble in your shoe that is worrying you so, the thing that would stop such a capable person as you from knowing exactly what to do is....

..."What will THEY think!"

Let me ask you May, how does the potential of doing what you've always wanted to do look to YOU?  When you see yourself in your mind doing the thing you've wanted to do, how does it feel?  After 17 years of wishing you were following your dreams, how does it feel to know that it is at your doorstep?

Do you honestly want me to discuss what other people might think about you, as if the weight of their opinion was in any way equal to the excitement and sense of accomplishment you would feel to finally let the universe hand you what you asked for in the first place?  

No, May, I won't play into this.  This is my way of telling you that the only thing that could ever stand in your way of living your life as your dreams create, is by letting other opinions of you matter more than your dreams.

As to the second part of your question re: which one; that's what we call a misery of choice! Both, from what I understand is in your desired field, so both would bring you where you want to go.  It seems though that one is absolutely ideal.  I would ask you this, May. Are you ready to accept what you deserve? If the ideal one is further off in the future, is there any way of indicating to them that you are in a position to get two offers but theirs sounds more attractive; in order to maybe get a sense of where you stand?

A friend of mine, coincidently, just went through almost the exact situation as you.  She had two job possibilities, (she is an engineer) and took the one that was offered first.  After a couple of months she regreted not waiting for the other and went after the new job after only a few months in the first one.  In retrospect had she waited she would have skipped the one step.  I can't make that decision for you, May, but however you make it, don't make it bases on what others might think.  You only need to ask yourself; "Do I want the second opportunity that much more than the first one?"  Is is closer to what you really want?  Make your decisions based on that.

I hope that this was helpful.  Please rate the response honestly, and...

The absolute best of life to you.

Phil L. Methot

Personal Development

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Phil L. Méthot


Can answer questions relating to self image, motivation, fear of success, fear of failure, guilt, shame, debilitating feelings, self expression, weight gain, weight loss, goals, and public speaking, and communication. Will not discuss clinical aspects of depression, or medical associations to depression.


Motivational Management consultant since 1985, Author of the books; "Through the Door!": A Journey to the Self, (a look at the battle between our negative self-images and our personal power. Author of; "The Weight is Over" a book on weight loss and the role of The Self Image Paradox. Author of 10 Steps to Becoming a Great Public Speaker. Co-hosted a radio Talk Show for two years on Personal Development.

Toastmasters International Club President

My works are published on the sites: and in my book "Through the Door!" :A Journey to the Self. Articles may also be seen at

University of Toronto Trained with The Canadian Training and Motivation Group Inc.

Awards and Honors
Presidents Club award for excellence in Motivational Management Training. Honor roll member of Success Motivation International. Advanced Toastmaster Gold/Competent Leader

Past/Present Clients
Air Canada, Ritz Carlton Hotel Montreal, Air Transat, Festival Cruises, Panoff Publishing,

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