Personal Empowerment/How can I overcome this
I come to you today with a major problem. I have the biggest crush on a female cashier at my local meat market. I went to high school with her (we're both 18) but we've never actually met, despite having some mutual friends. I wasn't attacted to her then but now for some reason I can't stop thinking about her. It's like I see her in a whole new light. The only problem is that I'm really shy around her. When I go to buy something at this market and I'm about to check out my heart starts racing and I can't speak. I guess I have this problem with her because I don't know her and since all my past girlfriends have been friends before I have no experience in approaching women. So my two questions are:
1. How can I get myself to act right infront of her without feeling like I'm going to pass out?
And, well this one might be out of your area of experience but if you can answer it.
2. How can I find out if she's interested and attract her?"
There are many ways you can get rid of shyness and stand straight as a man before the woman you love.
#1: Be yourself
You can't be comfortable around other people unless you're comfortable around yourself first. Focus on the people and things that make you feel good - like your friends, your family and your favorite hobbies. Don't have any hobbies? Get some. Spend your free time doing stuff that makes you happy.
#2: Learn to be friendly
Shy people tend not to smile or make eye contact with other people. It might lead to people thinking you aren't interested in talking to them, or that you have an attitude. Snap out of it. When you're talking to someone, remind yourself to look at them, to smile, to stay involved in the conversation. Straightening your posture helps, too. Pretty soon this stuff will come naturally to you, but you have to practice.
#3: Be patient
Overcoming shyness is a long process. It could be years before you grow out of it, and even then, you won't be the bubbly cheerleader-type that you picture as the opposite of shy. You'll just be a more confident and comfortable you than you've ever been.
Shyness won't just go away, but it can be helped along. To figure out how to overcome shyness, you have to stop wallowing in your own insecurities and become more aware of the people around you. It is wrong to believe everyone is watching and judging you. Stop thinking about what you don't do well, whether it's telling a joke or making small talk. If you listen, you'll see no one else is absolutely perfect. Arrive early to get comfortable in a new surrounding. Stop focusing on how nervous you feel and focus on the other person, making them comfortable, helping them tell their story and share their feelings with you. Prepare things to say in advance. Polish your opinions.
The task is not to change who you are, just some of the ways you think. There is nothing wrong with being shy. I have been shy before and i used some of the tips above to overcome shyness.
As regard the second question, it will be difficult to give a straight answer, because you have not talked with her. Its not so easy for one to know if the other person is interested in him/her unless you draw closer. The fact that an individual is smiling at you may not necessarily mean she is interested in you. It may just be her normal nature. But there are some basic body signs that can give you a clue if she is interested in you. These signs may not be 100% accurate. You still need to make the first move and approach her to confirm if the body language is accurate or not.
1.If she makes a joke or someone else does something dumb, give her a wink and share the moment. If she relaxes or laughs, she’s interested.
2.“While you’re talking with her, sustain eye contact for a fraction of a second longer than what feels natural. If If she looks away, she might be interested. Women feel shy too.”
3.“Pay her the kind of compliment a potential lover would make — it should be something personal but not overtly sexual. Also avoid the type of thing a friend might say; for instance, opt for ‘You have really great style’ rather than ‘You have a really nice wrist watch.’ If she smiles or thanks you warmly, she’s interested. If she doesn't smile or thank you, she’s not.”
The best way to attract a lady is to be yourself and stop pretending to be someone you not. Women hate guys who are not natural. Just try to find out the things she loves most and do all you can to share these things with her. Ensure you give her some time and definitely if she loves you, she will respond positively. In all you do, never show anxiety in your moves, because it can lead to some silly mistakes. Be patient and calm.