Personal Empowerment/unfortunate emotions

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Question
basically, I got out of a 7 year relationship last year around october. I am 25 years old. I discovered that he had been cheating on me nearly the whole time. I am over my love for him, but the injustice of it all infuriates me. He seems perfectly happy with the girl he left me for, seems extremely happy, all of "our" friends have become "his" friends; while I am forced to deal with all of this. I no longer love him, and I am not upset that I don't have him anymore, I am just mad about the whole injustice of it, and only to see everyone (who knows why we ended things) embracing this girl, when I thought we were all friends.

I find myself creeping on her page, seeing photos of them, because I have convinced myself that I should be desensitizing myself to this. I just want the anger and hurt to stop. I don't know what route I should take to hasten the process. Please help direct me on how to get over my anger.

Answer
Hello Courtney,
Its really sad knowing the pain you going through right now. Its perfectly okay for you to feel mad at him for been betrayed and been stabbed at the back. This shows the human part of you still works perfectly well. As regards letting go of the anger and hurt, it surely takes a while to heal oneself of these negative traits.

The first step in the healing process is to forgive him of all the wrongs he has done. Until you chose to forgive, there is no way the pains and hurt will melt away, because each time you think of what he did, it continues to haunt you.

Secondly, there is still a void that needs to filled before the pain and hurt will disappear. He was there for you and filled a part of you that made you happy and his departure obviously will create a huge vacuum that needs to be filled. Its not necessary that you need to start a new relationship in order to fill that void.

I suggest you create room to explore some personal passion and hobbies. This will definitely take your attention away from the past hurt and pain and drain away any negative emotions in your heart.
Get to make new friends and make out time for more outdoor activities instead of remaining indoors and reclusive. The pains and hurt will eventually go if you do these stuffs, but it wont go instantaneously. It takes time for emotional wounds to heal.

It doesn't mean when it get healed that you will forget all about it. What usually happens is that once it heals, you become immune to such pains and you eventually get to that level where your heart becomes at peace with itself and even with those that have caused you such pains.
Wishing you all the best Courtney  

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clement sadjere

Expertise

I can answer question revolving round self development, self esteem, mentoring,overcoming fear, overcoming shyness,how to stay positively motivated, how to become a better person and issues relating to personality development.

Experience

i have been involved in organizing self-empowerment seminars and training in the past six years with tangible evidence of people getting empowered and making success in their chosen career. i am also involved in helping youths and entrepreneurs in my local church via special teachings on empowerment. I have been a regular contributor to online and offline print and electronic media on issues relating to empowerment.

Organizations
Nigeria Football Referee Association, Geregu Power PLC, The Redeemed Christian Church of God

Publications
http://ezinearticles.com www.wikihow.com www.selfgrowth.com www.scribd.com www.buzzle.com www.articlesbase.com www.ideamarketers.com

Education/Credentials
Bachelors Degree in Electrical/Electronics Engineering Diploma Degree in Computer Science Certificate in System Electrical Operations

Awards and Honors
1.Certificate of Achievement awarded for completion of the "100 articles in 100 Days marathon challenge(#HAHD)" January 10, 2011- April 19,2011 by Ezine Articles. 2.Certificate of Achievement awarded for completion of the "100 articles in 100 Days marathon challenge(#HAHD)" September 23, 2010- December 31,2010 by Ezine Articles

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