AboutDr. Ravindra Bhaskar Ghooi Expertise I can provide information on drugs and medicines, their actions, uses, interactions and adverse effects. To avoid confusion, generic names of
medicines may please be provided. I am a pharmacologist, having worked
on animal and human pharmacology, and presently I am the Dean of Bilcare Research Academy, where we teach courses on clinical research. We dont work on saturdays and sundays, hence questions reachng me on these days will be replied on Monday, please bear with me.
I am at my wit's end with my husband and his bizarre behavior. He has been on Lexapro for about 6 months and shows troubling signs of alcohol abuse. He says that his doctor (the doctor that prescribed the medication) was aware that he is a heavy drinker. I have little doubt that when asked about his alcohol consumption he said that he drinks 3 to 4 times a week and has 1 or 2 drinks, which is certainly not the truth. His behavior has been so bizarre! A few examples: at an NFL football game he was so intoxicated that he fell down 3 times and after a conversation with me where I was crying and telling him that our marriage was over, he jumped in the back seat our our SUV and looked to his buddies on either side and said, "Who wants a beer?" Less than a week later, he got trashed at our Country Club to where the bartender looked at me pleadingly when he wanted her to server him another rum and coke (he has switched from beer to rum and cokes as soon as I was out of eye sight when I had left to run an errand. He made a bed out on our deck one night to avoid confrontation with me when he had again been drinking at the Country Club again (it was 24 degrees outside and I discovered that he was on the deck only by coincidence). And the worst incident to date - he bought two beers from the liquor store (which he never does) and brought them home so that he could supplement the 3 that were in the refrigerator, the he snuck downstairs to my neighbor's house to bum a beer and ended up drinking a half glass of wine before returning home just as the dinner plates were being placed on the table. When I asked where he'd been, he said that he waved to our neighbor as she returned from work (from our bay window) and she beckoned him down to show him some home improvements. As we sat down to the dinner table with my two teenage children (who were making signs to me that they thought he was drunk) the downstairs' neighbors (two woman) showed up and said that he had invited them to dinner. I was so embarrassed as were they! They left and I confronted him and he still denied it so I walked downstairs and they both said that it was a formal invite.
I'm so distraught. I don't think he is even aware of his bizarre behavior. I think that he has a drinking problem as it is, but with the Lexapro it's escalated. He is telling me that he will get on a different medication and will cut back on the drinking. He is making me out to be the culprit to his family and is not relaying events to them as they occurred. I guess my question to you is this: is there a chance that he in not an alcoholic and that this Lexapro is making him act like one?
ANSWER: Hi Beth,
I could give you two answers, one you would like and one which you woundnt. Personally I think that Citalopram is doing two things, it worsens the effect of alcohol and it makes him forget what he has done in the past. You will have to get him off one of them either lexapro or alcohol.
I would like to know how much he remembers of his behaviour on the following morning.
Secondly I think he might be having some problem either work or elsewhere that makes him seek refuge in drink to this extent.
Since you say "I don't think he is even aware of his bizarre behavior" I think it is the comounded effect of the tw. I would also like to know of his behaviour before he was put on Lexapro.
Ravi Ghooi
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QUESTION: Thanks so much for your reply and I apologize that I am just now getting back to you. Steve is now out of the house. I told him that he needed to leave when he came home drunk at the end of February. We have spoken several times and had dinner last night. We had decided to go to a marriage counselor, but last night he told me that he doesn't recall making that commitment and doesn't think that it will do us any good at this point. He wants instead to be good buddies and wants for me to meet him up at the Country Club this evening for happy hour. I explained to him that if he can't even commit to going to a marriage counselor then I couldn't see a future for us. He is now saying that he can't make that commitment, which is really mind blowing to me. We have only been married for a year and a half. Steve was a golf pro and highly respected in the community, not to mention the fact that he was high man on the totem pole in his profession. He left the golf profession due to the GM at the Country Club, not to mention that if you're not a pro at a really elite club, you're not really bringing in a great deal of money (and he wasn't.) He began working as an inside sales representative for a tool company with the promise of being promoted into outside sales after the first 6 months to a year. He has been there for over two years now and is still in inside sales and has not seen an increase in pay. I've tried to encourage him to speak with his boss and to ask his boss to provide him with a timeline for being moved into outside sales, but he doesn't appreciate my commentary and sees it as criticism. He is (was) not really able to contribute to the household finances, which was bothersome to me as well. I know that he is a traditionalist and felt really humbled by not being the bread winner. I know that this has a great deal to do with his anxiety attacks (thus the Lexapro). I know that I've been hard on him, but I'm willing to try to fix what is broken. I've shared my research with him regarding alcohol and Lexapro, so he knows that he should not be drinking, but continues to do so anyway. I think that he's rather enjoying living at his buddy's house, having no responsibility and coming and going as he chooses. But, he did make a commitment to go to counseling, and is now saying that he doesn't see that it will do us any good. I'm very confused and really hurt. He had a stress test scheduled last week (which is supposedly the precursor to him being re-evaluated for his anxiety attacks and either putting him on a new medication or taking him off of anti-anxiety meds altogether), but the doctor supposedly had to cancel the appointment and now he can't get in until March 22nd. I have a feeling that this is the easy way out for Steve. This way he doesn't have to admit to having any problems and I'm the bad guy in all of this.
Answer Hi Beth,
I am not a psychologist, but I see a definite pattern here. The pattern I see is one of alcoholism. I have seen and known some of these people closely and their behaviour seems to resemble Steve's.
Look at his job.
You want him to talk to his boss about his being moved from inside to outside sales (not that I understand the difference, but obviously it means higher responsibility and pay). He is not willing to do it. Probably he knows that his boss is not going to agree, he just does not want a show down with his boss, since he knows his precarious condition and does not want to lose it.
His financial condition.
We all pass through bad times, I personally have lost a lot in the stock market. But that does not affect me. Steve is taking it very badly that he is not the breadwinner.
You have been married very recently
I dont know what to make of this, is this your or his second marriage? Do you know anything about his history? These are gaps in my knowledge. I just dont know anything about you to comment on the significance of that.
Is it the drug or the alcohol
Now I am sure it is alcohol. Not the drug. What I think he neds is a detoxification. After that he may return to normal, but remember the success rate in detox is just about 20 %.
He is with his buddy
This wont last long. If he cannot connect with a woman, he will never be able to pull on living with a man. Men are not as forgiving as women.
My advice
Dont call him back. Let him come back under your conditions if he wants. Make this a condition, if he lives with you, he has to live by your rules, if not well then it is back to his buddies. Dont hurt him, but dont forgiv everything too. There is a thin balance between these two, you have to find the balance, and live by that
Best wishes
Ravi Ghooi
