AboutJurriaan Plesman Expertise I have a degree in Psychology from the Sydney University and a Post Graduate Diploma in Clinical Nutrition. I have had many years of counselling people with a variety of emotional problems, such as Depression, Anxiety Attacks and Self-Esteem Problems, Drug Addiction and Alcoholism, Gambling, as well as the whole gamut of personality disorders.
I am also the editor of the Hypoglycemic Health Association of Australia. It web site, with a self-help course of PSYCHOTHERAPY can be visited free of charge at:
http://www.hypoglycemia.asn.au
Experience
Organizations Editor of the Hypoglycemic Health Association of Australia:
Web site:
http://www.hypoglycemia.asn.au
Publications Author of the book:
"Getting off the Hook", which is freely available on the internet at Google Book Search.
Education/Credentials I have a degree in Psychology from the Sydney University and a Post Graduate Diploma in Clinical Nutrition.
Expert: Jurriaan Plesman Date: 7/15/2008 Subject: Fear or intercourse
Question Hello there...
I have a serios problem and I know its going to ruin my life one day. Jurriaan, I am a 32 yr old woman married for the past 11 years. What bothers me is I am married for the past 11 yrs and still a virgin - becos of my STUPID phobia . I have extreme fear of sexual intercourse. I know it sounds silly but thats the way it is. I am perfectly normal otherwise - I love to love and I would love to be loved too,except for the love making part.
Every time my husband and I decide to make love, I prepare my mind firmly hoping and willing to cooperate with him. But when the moment comes, I just close in and I dont let it happen. I am an Indian and I have tried discussing this weird phobia with gynaecologist, psychiatrists and pshychologists...only to be characterised as a one-in-a-million case ( and possibly the only one) with this strange fear. Even when the gynae wants to do a physcial examination to check my hymen, I get petrified and I get violent with the doctor the moment she tried to check. This is making me feel like a geek and like one weird character.
One of the gynaecologist whom I visited asked if I had been subject to sexual abuse/trauma in my early childhood. The answer is no. I have neither been subject to any abuse or trauma nor have I witnessed anything horrific .
Jurriaan, do you think there is any cure for a weird phobia like mine ? I have tried making a conscious effort to make it happen , but I have always ended in vain.
Answer Dear Nashaana,
This kind of phobia may be called erotophobia or fear of sexual love. Although this may not apply to you, this is usually due to some bad sexual experiences in the past. It can be handled in two possible ways. One is by a procedure called Systematic Desensitisation. I have explained this at:
This should be done with the help of a psychologist trained in Behaviourism.
The other method - that could be used in combination with the above - is treating the phobia from a nutritional point of view. Most phobias, regardless of kind, are due to an underlying metabolic disorder that can be treated nutritionally. Most people, with an anxiety problem - of which phobias are a subclass - are found to be hypoglycemic.
Please discuss with a Nutritional Psychologist, Nutritional Doctor or a Clinical Nutritionist.
I really hope that you are able to overcome this problem.
_______________________________________________
Jurriaan Plesman
Editor of
The Hypoglycemic Health Association of Australia.
www.hypoglycemia.asn.au
Author of "Getting off the Hook"
Freely available at Google Book Search
Skype: jurplesman
