About Agaperty Expertise I can answer a diverse range of questions upon the topics of polyamory and what is often referred to as non possessive relationships. Particularly the communications skills and honesty that I find to be needed every step of the way for successful and long lasting relationships. I also seem to be good at "trouble shooting" during the occasions in which problems arise, confusions, etc.
I am not interested in infidelity or the "promiscuousnesses" that can occur by people not using their best judgment, and exercising understanding of cause and effect, that can lead to unnecessary hurt of all concerned.
I am interested in responsible relationships, not irresponsible. For every exercise of liberty there is, still, an effect.
Put simply, I am into the expansion of Love and my motives and direction is to lead to selflessness more so than selfishness. Honesty is the determining factor of the opposites/complements of what is selfish, and what is selfless. To thine own self be true, yet remember the Golden Rule.
Experience I have lived polyamorously for over 20 years. I have raised children in this lifestyle, and have acted as a type of consultant or counselor to many, many other people on the subjects of relationship, human sexuality, bisexuality. I could into vivid details which some would find most stimulating and exciting, but I would rather not. Use your imagination and you will be close enough.
Education/Credentials Self educated. Study, self honesty, asking good questions, unlearning. Above all "hands-on" experience. I've lived the lifestyle for 20 years, but I still have not got an official stamped certificate or degree.
I've recently started dating a man and we've really hit it off. He's handsome, smart, funny, rich etc. Treats me really well. He's very loving and passionate and holds me and kisses me very passionately for hours.
So imagine my surprise when I typed his name into Google...and it turns out he has an online sex blog on his website! He has written about every single girl he has had sex with in the last few years.
Not just that, it's not bad that he has a sex blog and writes about women. The worst part is WHAT he wrote.
I read through it and was shocked. He wrote the most disgusting things in the nastiest tone I have ever read or seen in my life. Completely hateful, nasty, mean, violent, hurtful, spiteful....just horrible things. My jaw dropped so low I had to drag my mouth off the floor.
Just so you know, I watch a lot of horror movies with violence, sex, etc. I also watch hardcore porn and masturbate frequently - so I'm not your typical girl who is squeamish. Most rude/crude/vulgar stuff doesn't bother me. But his blog was HATEFUL and just downright DISGUSTING.
He bragged about all the women he would trick into sleeping with him, and how he would ditch them the next morning, how if they angered him in the morning he would ejaculate all over their faces and hair while they were still sleeping.
He wrote about how he would steal money and jewelry out of their bedside drawers and food out of their kitchen before leaving. And he would ejaculate into their milk and juice bottles in their fridge, and their mouthwash and shampoo bottles in their bathroom before leaving them early in the wee hours while they were still sleeping.
He went on to say how all fat ugly women should be killed and demolished off the face of the earth.
In his writings there was a lot of PURE HATRED towards women. Well I dont know about all women at least these ones he was fucking anyway.
He wrote about one girl he took home and then found out she was a virgin, she refused sex, so he cummed all over her, the walls, the bed, and the carpet when she was sleeping and left.
He kept saying stuff like "this bitch was a fucking virgin. a virgin? who the fuck is a virgin nowadays? i haven't met a virgin since i was 8 years old. stupid virgin bitch needs to die"
He would call them Tuesday night, Wednesday night, etc. Apparently he slept with TONS of women.
So I just thought it was pretend, he was just putting that on his website to joke around or brag or fantasize and show off as a humor thing to his buddies.
But apparently it is all true, because people wrote comments under there, his friends (both male and female) saying "yeah i remember when this and this happened" etc. and then I saw photos of him partying with many basically nude women in thongs and microbikinis.
Ok. So after reading that blog...wow...you can say I was shocked.
In his writings it was evident that he enjoys punishing people, the ones who do wrong things to him, and he loves humiliating them without their knowledge. A warning to anyone that crosses him.
Also, I am a virgin...he doesn't know that I'm a virgin...but now I am so afraid! I read what he wrote about the virgin girl and how much he despised her and I'm afraid he won't like me anymore.
Oh yeah, and all his friends and my friends told me the blog was true. He also had personally told them that yes, he used to have sex with lots of girls and did nasty things to them. He didn't even deny it. He just simply laughed!!!
Oh my god...so it is true!!!
So now I have some questions.
1. Do you think I should have a discussion with him and ask him about his blog?
2. Should I just dump this guy and leave? Cuz obviously he has a really nasty side to him and one day, if I piss him off, he might take it out on me? Plus I am a virgin, we haven't had sex yet, so if one day he wants it and let's say I refuse, he might do this nasty shit to me too?
So should I just run? I can't believe he has this nasty hateful side to him.
thank you in advance for your advice (still in shock)
-Tara
Answer Hey Tara:
I can see how this would all be shocking.
I would give him the benefit of the doubt and ask him about all that you have heard and researched.
At least you would have given him the chance to explain himself. I would be careful and skeptical but still open minded. He may have a knack at hooking people emotionally and getting them to sympathize with him and that is why I recommend having a degree of a guard up.
However it doesn't mean that all of this is true.
On the other hand, even if it is all half true only, do you need this in your life? Sounds like serious karma around this person. I would recommend seeking a better prospect for your first time(s). Nobody is perfect, but I would look for someone with a decent track record.
Not everyone who is surrounded with such bad press is necessarily a bad person; it seems that some of the finest beings in history absorbed a lot of bad press.
Having said that though, in the case of this individual I would still say to be very cautious. If you got as far away from him as you can, what have you really lost?
Take care of yourself and make wise decisions. People get into these problems because of their own desires and sense of need. Everyone deserves better and I advocate people to find that sense of whole and completeness within themself. Then, they do not "need", they simply "want and choose".
Keep your options open and protect yourself by being wise and applying your common sense.
I am proud of you that you did your homework and researched the best that you could.
You are welcome to keep me posted. I am curious how things turn out. I wish you well and affirm your happiness and highest and best...
