| Subject | Date Asked |
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| Poly problem | 11/6/2009 |
Q: I have known for a long tim (since high school) that I was not interested in a monogamous ...
A: Tony... Obviously, without knowing anything more than the paragraph you wrote, I really can't make ...
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| Becoming poly to keep my relationship? | 10/7/2009 |
Q: I am going through a really rough time right now. My long term boyfriend, while telling me he is ...
A: Kay: Yikes. What a miserable situation. Let me just toss a few thoughts your way, and please bear ...
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| should i let him go | 9/8/2009 |
Q: i'm more than 10 yrs older than my husband and been together for 11 yrs. When we first met we agreed ...
A: Not quite sure what you're asking, Jill. You state that you've tried to leave in the past but that ...
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| Breaking free from monogamy | 8/14/2009 |
Q: So, my husband and I sat down a few months ago and had a very lengthy discussion about being in an ...
A: Amy. This is, sadly, a pretty familiar scenario for many couples who embark down the poly path. ...
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| Child Custody | 8/13/2009 |
Q: In the past year my wife and I became involved with another women who is going thru a divorce. Her ...
A: Jeff: This is a very sticky situation. On the one hand, the ex may just be posturing. He may be ...
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| Perhaps a Poly? or maybe just Selfish. | 7/28/2009 |
Q: I have been reading through this wonderful site and would love some of your excellent advice. I will ...
A: Emily: First off, I'm sorry to hear you're going through a troubling time. And I wish I could give ...
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| should i even care about this or this girl | 6/26/2009 |
Q: What do i do about this girl? a long question about a lesbian problem please read all and answer ...
A: Tilly: Stop being coy about it. Call her up, get together, and lay it on the table. Ask her flat ...
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| Another woman | 6/19/2009 |
Q: My huge feelings make me handicap to know what first to say, but I will make up my self and start ...
A: Let me see if I understand this correctly. You're interested in another woman besides your wife, ...
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| confused about poly potential | 6/12/2009 |
Q: First let me preface by saying that I have done ALOT of reading into this subject, so I would ...
A: Okay… I could try to offer armchair psychoanalysis about what may or may not be behind his ...
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| confused about poly potential | 6/11/2009 |
Q: First let me preface by saying that I have done ALOT of reading into this subject, so I would ...
A: Lara: Quite a complicated situation you’ve got going, here. Obviously, you’re pretty confused (and ...
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| Monogamous male, polyamorous female - I feel lost! | 5/28/2009 |
Q: I am a monogamous male, who has known this very lovely individual for just over two years. We ...
A: Okay, great... communication progress! Now, one thing that I hope will put you more at ease... ...
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| Monogamous male, polyamorous female - I feel lost! | 5/27/2009 |
Q: I am a monogamous male, who has known this very lovely individual for just over two years. We ...
A: Okay, if you want to use poly terminology, what you're wanting is for you to be her "primary," i.e., ...
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| Monogamous male, polyamorous female - I feel lost! | 5/27/2009 |
Q: I am a monogamous male, who has known this very lovely individual for just over two years. We ...
A: Steven: One of the things that mono folks don't seem to understand is that the word "commitment" ...
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| Polyamory and bisexuality | 4/6/2009 |
Q: Are you aware of any statistics regarding percentage of hetero, bi, or homosexual individuals in ...
A: In 2001, Loving More Magazine conducted a survey of over 1000 people who self-identify as ...
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| relationship problems and polyamory | 3/26/2009 |
Q: my boyfriend strongly wants to open our relationship up to polyamory to include his another woman ...
A: Then as I said before, the real issue would be the nature of the problems and issues that exist in ...
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| relationship problems and polyamory | 3/26/2009 |
Q: my boyfriend strongly wants to open our relationship up to polyamory to include his another woman ...
A: So this fear you have of losing him... is it based on a past history of behavior on his part, or is ...
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| relationship problems and polyamory | 3/25/2009 |
Q: my boyfriend strongly wants to open our relationship up to polyamory to include his another woman ...
A: Cindy: If your relationship with your boyfriend is riddled with problems, then it's highly likely ...
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| Am I polyamourous? If so how can I tell my boyfriend? | 3/6/2009 |
Q: I think I may be polyamourous but I’m not sure. I was with my first boyfriend for just over 2 years ...
A: Annie: The simple answer to your first question is: Yes... you could be poly. But not necessarily. ...
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| Starting a new Poly relationship, dealing with jealousy | 2/25/2009 |
Q: I was in a poly relationship, where I was joining an existing couple. Turns out the woman that was ...
A: Probably the most basic difference in perspectives between monos and polys is what you've just ...
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| Starting a new Poly relationship, dealing with jealousy | 2/24/2009 |
Q: I was in a poly relationship, where I was joining an existing couple. Turns out the woman that was ...
A: Chantelle: This is, unfortunately, a somewhat common problem in poly relationships. Been through ...
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| shocked | 2/9/2009 |
Q: I've recently started dating a man and we've really hit it off. He's handsome, smart, funny, rich ...
A: Tara... this really has nothing to do with my area of expertise, but I'm going to answer you anyway. ...
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| Negative reaction from children | 2/7/2009 |
Q: I am involved in a triad (MFF)with a long-time married couple. The relationship is going on 2 years ...
A: Harley: Well, that's sure an unpleasant situation. It's also not an easy one for me to address, ...
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| Confused about my feelings. | 9/21/2008 |
Q: My friend (and lover of several years) and I are in an open relationship, and several months ago ...
A: I would agree with you... I don't think jealousy is the issue, here. Reading this as you've ...
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| Urgent Time Frame: Advice on relationship. | 8/16/2008 |
Q: I am 18 years old and i have been in a year and a half relationship with my boyfriend who is 29. It ...
A: Okay. The thing that really strikes me here is that neither of you seems inclined to an actual ...
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| servicing our friend | 8/6/2008 |
Q: I have been married for 31 years. My husband and I have a dear friend who has never married. I ...
A: It doesn't sound like you're missing anything, assuming that your friend has no expectations beyond ...
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| Starting a relationship | 8/2/2008 |
Q: I have been in a monogamous relationship for 3.5 years and over two years of that has been spent ...
A: Claire. Thanks for writing, and sharing such a significant issue with me. I'll try to offer some ...
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| Open relationship run amok... | 7/25/2008 |
Q: For over a year now, my boyfriend and I have been in an open relationship and for a while, it was ...
A: Y'know, you're really asking for an answer to a question that just isn't possible to give. The only ...
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| treading lightly | 7/13/2008 |
Q: After doing some reading about polyamory, I found myself deeply intrigued. It appealed to me. I ...
A: Leah: There's really no way for me, or anyone, to predict how adding a third to your relationship ...
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| Open relationship run amok... | 7/11/2008 |
Q: For over a year now, my boyfriend and I have been in an open relationship and for a while, it was ...
A: A lot of people believe the biggest threat to poly relationships is jealousy. For some, this may be ...
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| which is the best option | 7/2/2008 |
Q: Im a 39 yrs old lady married for the last 22 yrs & having a son who is now about to complete his ...
A: Runu: This is quite the complicated situation you've found yourself in, isn't it? I'd like to ask ...
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| married couple taking on a life partner...I think | 7/2/2008 |
Q: Okay...to start off with...My wife and I have been married for 10 years now. We have a strong ...
A: CJ - I have to admit, I read your question with a very warm feeling inside. The three of you - ...
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| Don't know what to do. | 6/11/2008 |
Q: I'll keep this short and to the point. I'm 30. The other day I walked in on the girl I've been ...
A: This is actually a question with a few layers. Really, what you should do depends on what you want. ...
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| poly and children | 3/10/2008 |
Q: I also have a question about how much to share with my child. My husband and I have been married 27 ...
A: Lisa: Keep in mind I'm not an M.F.T. or anything, but I really do think you should tell him. As ...
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| In a Polyamorus Relationship... | 12/1/2007 |
Q: I've just recently involved myself in a polyamorus relationship...i'm monogamous...or so i think. My ...
A: Like many things in life, our views and positions on things can change. Twenty years ago, I didn't ...
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| polyamory | 10/30/2007 |
Q: Is it polyamory when you are an established couple and invite another person into your bed on ...
A: Consider that polyamory is about love, not sex, and I think you might have the answer to your own ...
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| ending a relationship | 8/23/2007 |
Q: I have been in a FMF relationship (I'm the second F) for about 5 years now. No kids, but we do own a ...
A: No, once the re-fi is done, and your name is off the mortgage, you're not legally responsible for ...
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| ending a relationship | 8/23/2007 |
Q: I have been in a FMF relationship (I'm the second F) for about 5 years now. No kids, but we do own a ...
A: The house will need to be refinanced under the name(s) of whomever is staying in the house, whether ...
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| Poly and children | 8/10/2007 |
Q: I have been in a poly relationship for 3 years now. We are a happy polyfidelitous triad (FFM) with 4 ...
A: Cyndi: Wow, this is really a touchy one. Let me preface this by saying that a LOT depends on the ...
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| I first started out as a...... | 7/1/2007 |
Q: My name is Rob. My wife and I first started swinging early on in our relationship. Now, ten years ...
A: Rob. Well, the first thing I would suggest you do is sit down with your wife and talk about it. ...
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| My long-term bf just came out to me as polyamorous... | 5/1/2007 |
Q: My long-term bf just came out to me as polyamorous. I am monogamous. The only thing even close to ...
A: Alice: I want to say first off that I'm sorry you're going through this. I know how painful it ...
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| polyamory + insecurity = aaaah!! | 4/13/2007 |
Q: My partner and I have a polyamorous relationship, and we like it that way. I can't even imagine how ...
A: Edie: No, this doesn't really have directly to do with poly, but that's okay. It has to do with ...
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| I would like to become a | 4/10/2007 |
Q: I am very interested in becoming a polygamist, and I would like to find a husband or a family that ...
A: Just to clarify: polygamy (the practice of having multiple married spouses) is not legal in the ...
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| unhappy in polyamory | 12/5/2006 |
Q: My fiance and I have been together for 6 years. He says that he is more comfortable in a three ...
A: June: There are a lot of things I could say right now, but the truth is, I don't have a complete ...
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| Transition of divorce | 10/4/2006 |
Q: Im recently divorced my ex husband hooked up with his sons mother when we seperated. I was her ...
A: Liz: That's very interesting that you think you may see this trait in him. I'll offer my idea for ...
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| adoption | 8/30/2006 |
Q: I am in a polyamorous relationship with two men and one of them is interested in adoption. Do you ...
A: Jessica: The difficult part of offering resources here is that, unlike homosexual relationships, ...
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| Poly-relationship | 7/25/2005 |
Q: I'm a poly in a loving relationship. My girl understands and accepts my poly nature. I am currently ...
A: Marc: When someone is "hunting" for a potential relationship partner, it's a good idea to "hunt ...
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| polygamy? | 5/9/2005 |
Q: I think that you are probably not the person I need to talk to however my boyfriend (soon to ...
A: The first place I'd suggest is www.lovemore.com. This was the site where I first discovered the term ...
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| Friends with Benefits | 3/25/2005 |
Q: I'm also posting this in "polygamy" because I dont know where it belongs... This is a long story - ...
A: Jennie: Yeah, that's a nasty situation. It would be nice if you could turn back time and be ...
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| Poly Relationships | 7/19/2004 |
Q: Have read true and fantasy stories about people engaging in Poly relationships for both sexual ...
A: The difference is quite profound. Polygamy as practiced by Mormons was (and still is, by some ...
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| Am I POLYAMOROUS? | 7/13/2004 |
Q: I have been called a "Serial Monogomist". Since the age of 14 or 15 when I first started going out ...
A: Amanda... First of all, I'm DREADFULLY sorry about the delay in response. A week ago, the morons ...
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| Polyamory legal issues | 6/18/2004 |
Q: I am a member of a well-established all-female triad. We are planning to have children next year ...
A: Rachel: This isn't an easy question to answer, because legal issues vary widely on a state by state ...
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| Benefits of Polyamory | 5/5/2004 |
Q: Firstly, thank you for your service. Is it possible to view the questions and answers of those who ...
A: Raam: Two very good questions. The first one, I can't answer. I, myself, can only see a very ...
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| Poly and Breastfeeding | 5/4/2004 |
Q: Vincent, I recently entered into a poly relationship with a couple who live not far from me. I ...
A: Fred: Well, the breastfeeding bit is way out of my area of expertise. And as for poly relationship ...
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| romantic interest | 3/4/2004 |
Q: my spouse and i have agreed to try a polyamory lifestyle.Im interested in a man who is also married ...
A: The first question that comes to my mind is, how well do you know this couple? You'll bring up the ...
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| polyamory | 2/12/2004 |
Q: I have discussed open marriage with my husband. I have not been involved with anyone else and I am ...
A: Steph... You're experiencing a very awkward, but very common, aspect of poly right now. The ...
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| What is polyamory? I can find the definition. | 4/22/2003 |
Q: Can you tell me what is polyamory? I think i know, but not sure. Thanks! Mary
A: Mary: I maintain a website that might be helpful to you. It's the POLYAMORY AWARENESS AND ...
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| polyfidelitous committment | 11/20/2002 |
Q: I am currently involved with a wonderful couple (fmf). We've only been together a few months, but ...
A: Courtney: I'm sorry you felt my reply was "hurried." But the truth is that I am the furthest thing ...
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