Expert: William Silver - 10/5/2009

Question
hello. i am a Marine and im 21 weeks pregnant with a sgt. in the army. He has PTSD from IRAQ and im trying to make us work. He pushes me away all the time. How do i deal with this? I love him and i don't want him to be like this. What can i do to help?

Answer
Destiny, the first rule of relationships is that you cannot expect or desire to "change" your partner to fit your needs. The relationship either is a match or isn't and you have to take your partner as they are going in, otherwise disappointment and disagreements will surely follow.

The bigger question here is does your SGT want to get better and does he want this relationship and this baby. Will be be able to take care of his responsibilities for both of you?

I understand that you want some deep healing for your man, but it isn't your position to impose your will on him.

His injury probably masks his actual emotional feelings for you and the potential for a family and if he can't help himself and get therapy, there may not be a lot you can do about it.

There is a video on the EFT website for veterans with PTSD. I hope that you two might be able to watch it and see the potentials for healing using this effective healing work that doesn't include drugs and side effects of them.  Please go to: www.emofree.com to see the video, download the free EFT manual file and check the list of practitioners who may be in your area to assist him. It is a good thing for you to learn, as well.

Best wishes to you both...

William Silver