Private Investigations and Personal Security/hello


i had a housekeeper,Zelda, who after getting married left. years later i saw her on my doorstep again, pleading for the housekeeping job back, since she had left her drug addict, abusive husband, and discovered penury. i was already employing another woman, Marrion , who has four kids . she too has a bastard for a husband, but she only lives with him because she is too poor to buy herself her own house, and he pays for the children's education too.both of them were needy, so i kept them both, and divided the jobs amongst them.zelda was never regular to work and after a few weeks, left. then she called and said she was back with her husband and she wont need the job any more and that she was really sorry. marrion got her full time job back . zelda left her husband again and came back for the job, but this time i was pissed. she got hired by an acquaintance of mine. now to the problem. zelda keeps on coming to my house time and again, to visit marron whom she has become great friends with. i work so i m not at home when she comes . i have heard all sorts of things about zelda. she roams around places all the time, sleeps with various men, has a kid she barely takes care of. she lives with a distant aunt of hers in a place where criminals live. she is definitely not good company, and i cant bear the thought of her hanging around my children. my kids are 11 and 13. she could hurt them. my kids stay away from her, but they have always let her in, for  politeness's sake. ive told marrion to tell her not to come. the other day i came back home early, and spied marrion and zelda, chatting away behind my garage. when they saw me they hastily left each other. this has been troubling me ever since. maybe i m paranoid but i need ways to keep zelda from coming. and i dont want to offend her because she might get angry and do something crazy. please help me. thanks.

I'm sorry to hear about the trouble you are having with your former housekeeper.  Your situation is a bit far from my expertise (stalking), but I'll try to give you some suggestions that might help.

You are Marrion's boss, and you need to have a talk with her.  Explain to her that while she is working for you at your house, she is not allowed to have friends visit, either in the house or on your property.  She can see Zelda on her own time, and any place other than yours.  If you are willing to fire her if she breaks that rule, tell her that and make sure she understands that it isn't just an empty threat.  Get her to agree to this, and have her explain the situation to Zelda.

Explain the new rule to your children as well, so they know they don't have to let Zelda into the house any more.  When politeness and safety are in conflict, safety should always win. Can they see who is at the door before opening it?  If not, install a security viewer in every door at a height they can use.  If Zelda is at the door, they should not say anything to her, and they should not open the door.

Other steps you might consider are security cameras in your home or around your property, to find out if Marrion is letting Zelda visit her during working hours.  If Zelda appears in any way to escalating her behavior, don't hesitate to call the police.  

I hope this helps you.   Good luck, and stay safe,  Lyn  

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Lyn Bates


Are you being stalked? I can help evaluate the amount of danger you are in, and can provide very specific suggestions for increasing your safety, and for managing your situation. As a founding member and the current Vice President of AWARE (a volunteer, nonprofit organization), I have helped thousands of women learn to protect themselves from crimes ranging from minor harassment to serious assault. I am currently writing a book on safety for stalking victims. I have lectured at annual training meetings of the American Society of Law Enforcement Training, Women in Federal Law Enforcement, the International Women Police Association, the American Society of Criminology, and the American Women`s Self-Defense Association. In 1997, the American Tactical Shooting Association gave me their annual Tactical Advocate Award for teaching and writing.

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