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Private Investigations and Personal Security/Are emails and IM chats admissable in court in NC when obtained via key logger?

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My ex-husband and I were separated in Dec. '09, divorced Dec. '10.  He says that he installed a key logger on the home computer before he moved out Jan. 10, '10.  He accessed all of my chat conversations, my emails, and has printed out my conversations with my boyfriend and threatens to use them against me to take my children away from me.  We have 2 girls.  I would like to make it clear he NEVER had authorization to any of my online accounts or otherwise.  I never gave him any of my passwords.  I also believe he has hacked my work email accounts as he has mentioned content from conversations made via emails there as well.  I work for the public school systems and it is a school account, therefore government.

During our visitation discussions I agreed to joint custody, 3 days on, 3 days off, which is in the court order.

Now it gets messy.  Using the information obtained without authorization, I assume illegally, he has alienated my children from myself and my fiancee, along with my other immediate family.  He has told the children that my fiancee/boyfriend has put a spell on me and will hurt me which caused my youngest to slap me in the face while repeating these words to me, (my fiancee lives in India and has never been to the United States), he has told others in the community that I am possessed by demons including a parent to one of the children in a class in which I am present, he has written all over his facebook page "crazy person" referring to me where both of my children were friends of his discussing private issues regarding the separation battle and details about the separation agreement saying that I am trying to take the kids away from him, stating that I am "no mother", "how can a mother do that to her kids", he has written to the state department claiming that I travelled to India with 2 passports insinuating that I was trying to get my fiancee out of India illegally, he states that my fiancee has threatened his family to him, (which he hasn't although my fiancee responded to my exes threats in email sent to my fiancee from my ex in the same manner he was spoken to, man to man), he has told both of the childrens teachers that I am unstable and cannot be trusted (and whatever else I don't know such as the being possessed part - he has told anyone else that who would listen to him for more than a minute), and so on and so forth.  My ex has also threatened to write to all of my fiancee's friends on facebook and make defamatory comments stating that he would try to swindle money out of them of which I don't know if he's written to them, (my fiancee has over 600 friends).

Let me also say at this point that within mine and my fiancee's private conversations there have been heated discussions because of all of this where he has said some ugly things to me ONLY.  These are the conversations that my ex is threatening to use against me I assume.

Because of the alienation of the children with me amongst other things I am considering taking him to court to change the visitation/joint custody as this has all caused much mental stress on the children; they are and have been seeing a psychologist and things are not getting better.  As a matter of fact, they are getting worse.  As recent as last month, January '11, my ex made the comment to the children, "people in India eat monkeys brains", clearly continuing to paint a negative picture of the man.  This comment has snowballed into blow-up arguments between me and my oldest, she is 10, the youngest 8.  Which in turn has resulted in a hate email to my fiancee from the 10 year old which turned into an all out argument between she and my fiancee where she used extreme profanity via facebook messaging while she was with my ex.  Now I am in a position to punish my child for unacceptable behavior seeming to defend my fiancee and not support her or not, letting her get away with this, speaking to my fiancee like that let alone anyone else.  I have since found out that my ex told her it was ok to curse.

So, this is it in a nutshell.  My question is:  can he submit the private conversations between myself and my fiancee which he obtained illegally I assume, without consent in a NC court trying to prove that the man I am engaged to is not good for the kids to be around?  Or can I make sure that they are thrown out of court before I pursue this change in the visitation?

Let me also state that during the separation my ex has been charged with a DUI, he has introduced my children to women who have told them that:  1 is an alcoholic, the other states she always gets into abusive relationships and was addicting to pills, and he frequently takes them to bars to eat.

PLEASE HELP!!!

Answer
Your question is a legal one not investigative.   It is best you speak to a lawyer in your state.  I am in Ontario Canada.

I can not comment on the admissibility of keylogger data as evidence in a family proceeding.  Nor how much of what is going on here is going to really going to be a child protection issue that might effect a custody.

Kevin Bousquet  

Private Investigations and Personal Security

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Kevin Bousquet

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Questions relating to the law and private investigators, trying to collect a judgment, child support, asset investigation, corporate investigation, due diligence, finding missing persons. Closing a safe business deal. Fraud and Fraud Avoidance Issues. Trying to collect from people working for cash. The Corpa Group Inc. is a 17 year old agency. Kevin Bousquet has been in the private investigation business since he was 19. Now in his 40s Kevin runs one of the top agencies in North America.

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Civil, Criminal, Domestic, Collection

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Law Enf Grad (honours)1986, Law/Legal Admin 1991, Certified Fraud Examiner (CFE), Certified Fraud Investigator (CFI), Currently working on the www.ACFI.ca designation English, French, Japanese. Owner Corpa Investigation www.corpa.com since 1991.

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This is always a private issue.

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