Private Investigations and Personal Security/legal


I went to my boyfriends house worried about him well he came out of the house and was talking to me but then his ex came out and went after me she went to hit me well i defended myself but when i did so it was accidenatal because my phone was in my hand which was what hit her and it blacked her eye and now she is pressing charges? But i also recorded a phone convo where my ex said she was on xanyax, morphine, and aderol that night.


Your question is really outside my expertise, but I will answer as best I can.  Laws about what, exactly, constitutes crimes like assault and harassment, as well as legal self-defense vary from state to state.  So I cannot say what your legal situation is.  You might want to find a local lawyer familiar with family law to ask for more information. If the police come to you to talk about what happened, tell the truth.  Show them your phone conversation, which might make them less likely to believe what she said about how you assaulted her with the phone.  Will your boyfriend's talk with the police, which must also be truthful, back you up, or his ex?  If you are charged with a crime, you should definitely get a lawyer ASAP to help you.  There is a life lesson in this for you: in the future, even if someone is trying to hit you, get away if possible, and call 911; hitting back, even in self-defense, is always the very last option.  I hope this can be resolved without anyone facing charges.  Good luck, and stay safe,  - Lyn  

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Lyn Bates


Are you being stalked? I can help evaluate the amount of danger you are in, and can provide very specific suggestions for increasing your safety, and for managing your situation. As a founding member and the current Vice President of AWARE (a volunteer, nonprofit organization), I have helped thousands of women learn to protect themselves from crimes ranging from minor harassment to serious assault. I am currently writing a book on safety for stalking victims. I have lectured at annual training meetings of the American Society of Law Enforcement Training, Women in Federal Law Enforcement, the International Women Police Association, the American Society of Criminology, and the American Women`s Self-Defense Association. In 1997, the American Tactical Shooting Association gave me their annual Tactical Advocate Award for teaching and writing.

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