Private Investigations and Personal Security/social scripts


Hello and Happy New Year!
What are the scripts that appear in social mediums in situations when:
-somebody is bent on stinging you with his words, making fun of you (like the guy that you talk about at the beginning of "violence, blunders..." and that you put in place by subtly threatening him)? Why is he doing this, that is the reason, evolution speaking and how do you stop him without too much of a headache? Consider the fact that he may escalade if you don't talk back at him by, slapping you very hard on your back, as an example.
-when someone wants to put you down in front of his friends in order to show his status? I have no problem backing down and giving him a victory, but what if my passivity invites him or a lower rank male from his group to take a shot at me too? How do I cheat at this scripts by turning them in my advantage?

You're asking questions that do not have simplistic 'you just do this' answers.

More than that, you're floating dangerously close to what a friend of mine calls 'internet intelligence.' This is people who read something on the internet and think they understand it -- when in fact, they lack the background information to understand the significance of the answer.

Basically you're in for a lot of reading to understand the dynamics underlying the situations you're asking about. In essence you're asking how can I solve these problems right now using only my pre-existing understanding, social skills and self-defninitions about what this stuff means.

Short answer, you can't.

You have to get background information, assessment skills and strategies to be able to apply the any tactic to a specific situation. A good analogy is you're asking how to do a 'barrel roll'in an airplane without first learning to fly.

There is a lot of information out there that will teach you 'to fly' that you need to know before you try to do a barrel roll.

Here are some free resources (the first will help you with the how to keep from escalating the situation)

More importantly though, I want you to notice something. Every question above you asked arises from ONE fundamental source.

How do you keep from losing face?

These are social and imaginary issues that your own fear is making worse.

The problem is by obsessing on these things you are so busy trying to fix these perceived problems/dangers that you don't see how you're actually losing social status.

These resources will help you find the answers to your questions. But nobody can give you a simple, 'you just do this' answer when it comes to dealing with people.

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