Private Investigations and Personal Security/Stalker ...


I was with someone for almost 4 years, about a 1 year and half before I finally left I lived with him due to my financial circumstances but made it clear to him that we are not together anymore but rather just roomates, I would sleep and eat by myself. I would pay some of the bills in the house and basically raise money so I can finally leave. When I left I decided not to tell him. He has found out where I leave and after changing my cell number a few days ago he found out my new number, I know that you can find out a lot of things over the internet and I am sure he has a lot of information, like Social Security number my credit card numbers and things of that nature. What can I do? I will most likely get a restraining order but I can't change my Social Security # which is how he is getting all of my information, please some help.


I'm sorry to hear that you are having trouble with a stalker.  That kind of harassment can range from annoying to very frightening!

Getting a restraining order is often a good move.  It helps to convince the police that your situation is important, when you call them for help (which you should do if he continues to bother you).  Many stalkers stop when they realize there may be legal consequences to their actions; a few stalkers ignore restraining orders.

Contact the credit bureaus (Experian, Equifax, TransUnion) and tell them to put a fraud alert on your account, and not to release any information about your address.

Call your cell phone company and tell them about the stalking.  Find out what they can do to protect your number.  You might need to change your phone number again.  If you do, be very careful that everyone who is given your new number is told not to write it down in an obvious place, and not to give it out to anyone, no matter how plausible the request is.  (Stalkers have been known to impersonate old school friends, real estate agents, lawyers, and other people who call your friends/family to try to get your phone number.)

It is possible for some people to change their Social Security Number, but that is a very big step.  You can look on the Social Security Administration website for details.

Using Google and some other search engines, search on your name to see what your stalker might easily find.  You might want to start using a nickname, your middle name, or some other variation of your name to provide some privacy.  Be especially careful not to use your name or to reveal any personal information in chat rooms or other online groups.

Don't respond to his calls, but save any phone messages he sends you, so you can play them for the police.  Ask the police what else you can do to help them get enough evidence to talk to him, or arrest him.  Many stalkers stop on their own, eventually, or stop when arrested.  Good luck in your situation!  Stay safe,  Lyn

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Lyn Bates


Are you being stalked? I can help evaluate the amount of danger you are in, and can provide very specific suggestions for increasing your safety, and for managing your situation. As a founding member and the current Vice President of AWARE (a volunteer, nonprofit organization), I have helped thousands of women learn to protect themselves from crimes ranging from minor harassment to serious assault. I am currently writing a book on safety for stalking victims. I have lectured at annual training meetings of the American Society of Law Enforcement Training, Women in Federal Law Enforcement, the International Women Police Association, the American Society of Criminology, and the American Women`s Self-Defense Association. In 1997, the American Tactical Shooting Association gave me their annual Tactical Advocate Award for teaching and writing.

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