Private Investigations and Personal Security/Stalking

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Question
What should I do if I feel I am being stalked?

Answer
Kevin,

There are several different types of stalkers, and different ways of dealing with them.  The most common situation is a woman being stalked by a man she has rejected.  That's not your situation, obviously.

When a man is being stalked, it might be by a woman who is trying to create a relationship with him, by a a woman who is trying to get him back (or get revenge for rejecting her), or by a man (for many possible reasons, not all sexual).  

You can look into whether what you are experiencing is legally stalking, or not.  Most states have information about their laws online, or you can check a web site such as:
http://www.ncvc.org/src/main.aspx?dbID=DB_Register204
http://www.ilj.org/stalking/
http://members.aol.com/lrfuzz1/StalkingLaws/StateLaws.html
http://www.baddteddy.com/stalkers/laws.htm

If it is legally stalking, you can report it to the police.  If it isn't, you can still go to the security department at your work or school for help.

In many situations, the best thing for a stalking victim to do is: have absolutely no contact with the stalker.  You can tell them once to leave you alone, but don't keep saying that.  It is usually better to avoid all verbal interaction and to stay as far away from the stalker as possible.

Most stalking doesn't escalate into violence, but some does.  If you think your stalker might go this way, it would be good for you to take self-protection measures, perhaps starting with a good self-defense class.

I hope this information helps.  If it doesn't seem to fit your situation, please tell me more about your situation so I can offer more focused advice.

Stay safe,    Lyn  

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Lyn Bates

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Are you being stalked? I can help evaluate the amount of danger you are in, and can provide very specific suggestions for increasing your safety, and for managing your situation. As a founding member and the current Vice President of AWARE (a volunteer, nonprofit organization), I have helped thousands of women learn to protect themselves from crimes ranging from minor harassment to serious assault. I am currently writing a book on safety for stalking victims. I have lectured at annual training meetings of the American Society of Law Enforcement Training, Women in Federal Law Enforcement, the International Women Police Association, the American Society of Criminology, and the American Women`s Self-Defense Association. In 1997, the American Tactical Shooting Association gave me their annual Tactical Advocate Award for teaching and writing.

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