Private Investigations and Personal Security/How to move without salker knowing new address


I have been receiving harassing phone calls from a man calling from local pay phones for about 1.5 years.  This man knows my name, and I believe knows where I live because he always calls when my husband is away.  (It is fairly obvious when my husband is gone because we both park in the driveway.)  We are now getting ready to move to a new house, and I want to make sure I take every precaution possible to assure this person will not find out my new address.  Can you give me any suggestions?

I'm sorry to hear that you are having such a hard time with that man.  Being harassed or stalked can be very upsetting, even frightening.  Many stalking victims move to get away from their stalkers, and there are a lot of steps you can take to help ensure that he won't know where you have gone.

First of all, try not to tell anyone exactly where you are going.  That's much harder than you think, since everyone will ask.  Have an answer ready such as "We are moving far away to get away from a stalker" or "We are moving out of state" or something else that is non-specific.  Be careful revealing information in chat groups ot other online groups.

Another thing to set up is a way to get mail that does not reveal where you actually live.  You will need at the minimum a post office box or a private mail box.  Everything at your new home should go to your PO box, nothing should arrive at your actual home. This will make it hard for him to find your new address.

Contact the major credit bureaus and have them remove as much information as possible from the header of your file.  This info usually includes name, current address, and past addresses, and is easy for anyone to get, although the rest of your credit information is not easy to get.  Try to give them only your PO Box address, or make them alert you if anyone gets any info about you.

If you use professional movers, make sure they know that they need to keep your new location private.  Make sure each person who loads your truck knows this, too, so they don't chat with anyone.  If you don't think you can trust a moving company, here's how you can move:  Get a friend who your ex doesn't know to rent a truck of the appropriate size.  Hire a bunch of strong guys, not professional movers, to pack the truck.  You or your friend can then drive the truck to your new home, where you hire a different bunch of strong guys to do the unloading.  That way, there is no paperwork, and no person except your trusted friend, who knows both your old address and your new one.

Make sure your movers watch for anyone following their truck.  I know someone whose stalker tried to follow her that way!

Since it is likely that your stalker is either a neighbor or someone who has frequent, legitimate business in your neighborhood, you should be particularly careful.  He may try to chat up your neighbors, real estate broker, movers, new people in your house, or other folk to find out where you have gone.  Make sure that they either don't know, or have been warned never to tell anyone where you have gone, regardless of how friendly, legitimate, reasonable, or urgent that  person seems.

I hope some of these suggestions are useful to you, and that your move leaves your stalker far behind.  Stay safe,  - Lyn  

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Lyn Bates


Are you being stalked? I can help evaluate the amount of danger you are in, and can provide very specific suggestions for increasing your safety, and for managing your situation. As a founding member and the current Vice President of AWARE (a volunteer, nonprofit organization), I have helped thousands of women learn to protect themselves from crimes ranging from minor harassment to serious assault. I am currently writing a book on safety for stalking victims. I have lectured at annual training meetings of the American Society of Law Enforcement Training, Women in Federal Law Enforcement, the International Women Police Association, the American Society of Criminology, and the American Women`s Self-Defense Association. In 1997, the American Tactical Shooting Association gave me their annual Tactical Advocate Award for teaching and writing.

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