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Problems with Friends/becoming friends again

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hi, me and my friend were friends for almost a year, but then things got really difficult & we stopped talking. we were really close at first but then he was talking behind my back and that's how the fight started. about a month later we started talking again and became close for about 7 months later. he again was talking behind my back and really hurt me. i should probably mention he is a player, and has lead me on a couple times but won't admit to it.  two months later, (a few days ago) he messaged me and said he was sorry and he regrets everything and wants to be my friend again. we talked it out and he said the only reason he was talking about me was because it wouldn't work out and he was mad and he said a lot of things he didn't mean. I told him I'd think about it. another day or two I told him I miss my old best friend and want to be friends again. but something's been telling me I shouldn't be giving him another chance after everything he's done to me. he means a lot to me but I don't want to get hurt again.  should I give him one more chance?

Answer
Hi Cheyenne.

I'm sorry to hear that this friend has been so flaky with you. It sounds to me that he's going through a bit of a transitional point in his life where he may be struggling to juggle many different relationships at once. But it does sound like he cares about you, even if he hasn't been the best at showing it.

Definitely give him another chance, because there's no proof that he will let you down again. Everyone deserves second chances here and there...it gives people the opportunity to make up for their mistakes. Just keep his history with you in the back of your mind for a bit. I'm not saying to analyze his every move...Just take your time easing back into the friendship. Trust needs to be rebuilt between the two of you so that you can become close again.

Good luck!
BriElle

Problems with Friends

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BriElle

Expertise

Hey there, I'm BriElle! I'm 19, and I'm great at giving advice to other teens! I want to use my experiences with friendships to help YOU with yours! I'm open to all questions about all types of friendship problems, from being left out, to feeling jealous, to trust issues, to peer pressure, and even to building your friendship with your boyfriend/girlfriend! So talk to me and help me to help you! :)

Experience

I've experienced feelings of loneliness, jealousy, anger, and pressure with my friends. I've lost friends in the past, and I understand the troubles of maintaining a friendship. However, I know how to be confident and how to distinguish who my real friends are. I love giving advice to my friends about all of there problems!

Education/Credentials
I'm currently a sophomore in college. I led several retreats in high school, so I understand how to cope with emotions. I also studied psychology for one year.

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