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Problems with Friends/Bestfriend problems

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Question
Hi,
So pretty much my bestfriend has "fallen in love" with this German penpal. Which I guess I'm partly to blame because it was my idea to get penpals in the first place but ya. Lately it's been rough. When me or my other friends try to talk to her or hold her in conversation she's constantly checking her phone and replying to this guy. I feel as if I'm second best now to a guy she's never met before. She claims she's in love and I can't bring myself to argue sense into her because I don't know the feeling. What I'm trying to say is I've been really angry with her and am getting tired of this because there have been times where we've made plans and she's cancelled either to talk to this guy or finish something she didn't do due to skyping him. I feel like I'm going to blow up at her one of these days but I'm not sure if confronting her is the wisest course of action.
Thanks a lot if you can give me some advice.
-Karen

Ps. We're both 15

Answer
HI Karen.

Sorry this took a little while to respond to. First off, I would keep an extra eye on your friend in general with her "relationship" situation. Having a penpal is a great way of connecting with other people around the world. However, not knowing who exactly you're writing to can be dangerous. Just make sure she is careful.

Now in terms of your situation, I think confronting her is definitely a good option. You have a lot of bottled up feelings about this situation, and if you were to let them all explode one day on accident, things could be a lot worse. When you have a chance, sit down and talk to her and tell her exactly how you feel without getting really accusatory. Talk to her in "I feel" statements, not "You do" or "You did" statements. If she is a true friend, she'll listen to what you have to say, talk calmly to you, and respect you. Let her know you support her having other friends but that you just don't want to feel left out.

Good luck!
BriElle

Problems with Friends

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BriElle

Expertise

Hey there, I'm BriElle! I'm 19, and I'm great at giving advice to other teens! I want to use my experiences with friendships to help YOU with yours! I'm open to all questions about all types of friendship problems, from being left out, to feeling jealous, to trust issues, to peer pressure, and even to building your friendship with your boyfriend/girlfriend! So talk to me and help me to help you! :)

Experience

I've experienced feelings of loneliness, jealousy, anger, and pressure with my friends. I've lost friends in the past, and I understand the troubles of maintaining a friendship. However, I know how to be confident and how to distinguish who my real friends are. I love giving advice to my friends about all of there problems!

Education/Credentials
I'm currently a sophomore in college. I led several retreats in high school, so I understand how to cope with emotions. I also studied psychology for one year.

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