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Problems with Friends/Losing a friend.


Tim and I have been bestfriends for 4 years. We started "taking it slow", in dating, at the beginning of January, a few days ago we had a little fight over the phone because I told him I wanted to stop dating because I only liked him as a friend. He got so angry and said:"Honestly, I'm so sick of being hurt by you. I mean it was about to happen again just because you wouldn't speak your damn mind. You have no idea what it feels like and you never will." Now, he ment hurt in an emotional way. I promise you that I have never ever hit, slapped, kicked, or punched him. Now emotionally, I honestly don't understand how I hurt him emotionally. I don't mean to hurt him that way either, he's more sensitive than I am though. So after we stopped talking, I felt this empty space in my heart and I was wondering who would I turn to for friendship? I went on facebook that night and he posted:"Life seems so simple without you. I'm done killing myself over you. Today, I finally realized that you're worth crap and you could never possibly deserve me. Enjoy living the rest of your life knowing how much you hurt me because I AM DONE!" So now, we haven't talked since that incident. It tears me apart because he was my bestfriend, and now I feel empty and time feels like it slowed down. What should I do? Please help me.

Hi Anyssa,

Evidentially, you both reacted to the "break up" differently--You are content with just being his friend, but yet Tim wants to pursue you in a more romantic sense. Most likely, he was "hurt" by you because you said that you didn't see him as someone you wanted to date (which is absolutely fine!) but just in case, think back a bit...have you ever said or done anything else that cause a fight or made him upset? I'm definitely not accusing you of hurting him any other way, but if another fight happened between you guys in the past, his anger could also be stemming from those times.

I definitely advise you to avoid targeting him publicly on social media. Yes, you are upset with him, and you have a right to be. But "calling him out" over Facebook is only going to add fuel to the fire on both ends. And think about feel emptier in side now that he isn't in your life. That's definitely a sign that you want to keep him around even though he got into a fight with you.

My best advice is that you and Tim definitely need a little time apart just to let things cool off. As much as it may hurt, try to give him a little space to think things over, and give yourself time to do the same. Eventually, if you still feel like you want to pursue his friendship, you can calmly try to start talking to him again. Then, the ball is in his court on whether or not he wants to respond.

Best of luck!

Problems with Friends

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Hey there, I'm BriElle! I'm 19, and I'm great at giving advice to other teens! I want to use my experiences with friendships to help YOU with yours! I'm open to all questions about all types of friendship problems, from being left out, to feeling jealous, to trust issues, to peer pressure, and even to building your friendship with your boyfriend/girlfriend! So talk to me and help me to help you! :)


I've experienced feelings of loneliness, jealousy, anger, and pressure with my friends. I've lost friends in the past, and I understand the troubles of maintaining a friendship. However, I know how to be confident and how to distinguish who my real friends are. I love giving advice to my friends about all of there problems!

I'm currently a sophomore in college. I led several retreats in high school, so I understand how to cope with emotions. I also studied psychology for one year.

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