Problems with Friends/New girl


There was this girl who was new to my school, she seemed nice at first but a couple months later I found out she had lied about half of her life. After I confronted her about this she started getting really mean so I stopped hanging out with her. Then she proceeded to slap one of my close friends many times, tell a group of boys some of her secrets and tell rumors about me.

Now one of my good friends, lets say ,Jaclyn, started hanging out with her. After that she started to change. He was swearing a bunch, picking fights and much more. This week she went and showed an embarrassing video of this girl in my class to everyone while making fun of her. Then she went and told this other girl she was not her friend and that she only pretended to like her.

Now my other friends are telling me that the girl who slapped my friend is actually really nice and I should hang out with her. Everyone just seems ready to forget everything that she did (and there is much more) and become friends with her. These are my only friends I and don't know what to do. How should I handle Jaclyn? And what should I do about the other girl who slapped people?


Hi Adi.

First off, the slapping thing is not something to be taken lightly. Any type of physical harm done to somebody, especially repeatedly, is completely unacceptable. If this happened at school (or if it continues to happen at school), inform your dean, principle, or other trusted adult immediately. That is not ok whatsoever.

Perhaps this girl who was talking badly to you has, indeed, change. It does seem skeptical, but it definitely isn't impossible. Try to pay attention to her actions a little bit more and see if it seems like she has changed at all. If she has, and you think you're ready for it, don't be afraid to give her a chance. Otherwise, though, this girl has definitely done you and your friends some wrong in the past. If you do decide to be friends with her down the road, you have to keep in mind that she cannot initially be trusted as much as you want to trust her. Someone who spreads rumors and lies about you is not a friend at all. Again, don't be afraid to give her a chance if you feel ready for it. But just keep that in the back of your head.

As far as Jaclyn, this is a difficult situation because it doesn't directly involve you. If she is choosing to hang out with this other girl, it is, unfortunately, her prerogative. But seeing her change the way she has is definitely hurtful to you as a friend and even more hurtful to other people. If you feel comfortable, try sitting down to talk to her next time she does something out of character. You might be able to get to the heart of why she's acting this way, and you can hopefully get her to realize the fault of her ways.

Above all, you seem to have a good head on your shoulders. Do your best to keep that head held high. You're smart, you know right from wrong, and you know what's best for you. If it doesn't work out with these girls, there are plenty others out there who I'm sure would love to be your friend! Just keep pushing forward. You will find your happiness.

Best of luck!

Problems with Friends

All Answers

Answers by Expert:

Ask Experts




Hey there, I'm BriElle! I'm 19, and I'm great at giving advice to other teens! I want to use my experiences with friendships to help YOU with yours! I'm open to all questions about all types of friendship problems, from being left out, to feeling jealous, to trust issues, to peer pressure, and even to building your friendship with your boyfriend/girlfriend! So talk to me and help me to help you! :)


I've experienced feelings of loneliness, jealousy, anger, and pressure with my friends. I've lost friends in the past, and I understand the troubles of maintaining a friendship. However, I know how to be confident and how to distinguish who my real friends are. I love giving advice to my friends about all of there problems!

I'm currently a sophomore in college. I led several retreats in high school, so I understand how to cope with emotions. I also studied psychology for one year.

©2016 All rights reserved.