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Problems with Friends/Friends have changed

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Question
I've been having lots of issues with my friends lately, there are four of us and we are all 18. It's only started this year now that they are all breaking up with their boyfriends that they have been inseparable from for pretty much the entire high school experience. Me on the other hand, I've just started dating a new guy this year. He's super awesome and nicer than any guy I've ever been with..his family and friends are the best and we spend lots of time together. Since my other friends are "free" now they have been going to parties like crazy which usually end up sleeping with a different guy at the end of their night. I've heard just about everything from them to how much of a bitch I am, how I never want to hangout, everything is now my fault when plans don't go through and I apparently lie to make my family dislike my friends (I was not aware that i had lied..) anyways it's gotten to the point now where I can't stand to be around my friends anymore. It sucks because we've been friends together for so long and just because I don't wan to go and party all the time I have to give up my friendship with these girls. It's our graduating year and I don't even think I will be going anymore..I am also debating on going to change my classes around to avoid the extreme awkwardness between us . My boyfriend is really concerned since I've been crying everyday and he is starting to think that he is the reason why my friends are being like this. I don't know what to do :( is switching classes a good idea and what am I supposed to tell my parents :(. Ugh I hate this !! I'd really appreciate your advice on this

Answer
Hi Danielle.

I went through a very similar thing when I was in high school. I was the only girl in my group of friends who had a boyfriend (and a really great one, at that!) and they always felt like I was "ditching" them to hang out with him. It's a hurtful thing when your friends say mean things like that to you, especially when they're not true.

The best overall advice I can give you is to make sure you are giving a fair share of time to both your boyfriend and your friends. It's a really hard act to balance sometimes, but you need to make sure you're giving both equal amount of tension. When you balance your time well, your boyfriend and your friends will have even more respect for you, and they'll be more understanding in the times that you can't hang out with them.

When you have a chance, sit down and talk to your friends to ask them what's up. They might not tell you straight out what's bothering them, but if anything, you can still reassure them that you love them and are thankful to be friends with them. Then the ball's in their court. Hopefully, they will listen to you and understand....it's a situation they dealt with back when they were in relationships. They, too, just have to be respectful of you and know that you have a very busy life and a lot of people that you care about. If it ends up not working out with you guys, then it doesn't work out. It definitely is a sad thing, no doubt. But on the bright side, you're one step closer to graduation every day, and college will bring hundreds upon hundreds of new opportunities to make new friends who will love you for exactly who you are.

Best of luck!
BriElle

Problems with Friends

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BriElle

Expertise

Hey there, I'm BriElle! I'm 19, and I'm great at giving advice to other teens! I want to use my experiences with friendships to help YOU with yours! I'm open to all questions about all types of friendship problems, from being left out, to feeling jealous, to trust issues, to peer pressure, and even to building your friendship with your boyfriend/girlfriend! So talk to me and help me to help you! :)

Experience

I've experienced feelings of loneliness, jealousy, anger, and pressure with my friends. I've lost friends in the past, and I understand the troubles of maintaining a friendship. However, I know how to be confident and how to distinguish who my real friends are. I love giving advice to my friends about all of there problems!

Education/Credentials
I'm currently a sophomore in college. I led several retreats in high school, so I understand how to cope with emotions. I also studied psychology for one year.

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