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Problems with Friends/Is she a good friend



Me and my best friend have been friends for about 6 years now. And there are certain things she does or has done in the past that makes me wonder if she will have my back in the future. i know that i probably shouldn't think about things that have happened in the past because well its the past but sometimes i feel like we are going around in circles i constantly feel like we have been in that situation before and it really annoys me because by the end of it all there is no solution

The main things that stand out that she does is that she gets jealous when i hang out with other people even when i try and include her, however when she makes new friends she completely sort of ditches me, i always feel like a second choice to her, whenever we go to organise something i never know if it is going to happen until i an see her in front of me, otherwise she may find an excuse not to go. this is why i like my new friend as it is not so hard to organise things with her.

sorry this is so long :( but i just need to know is she a good friend? because i am just exhausted

Thank you :)

Hi Rebecca,

Unfortunately, there isn't a straight yes/no answer to your question, because your best friend is showing qualities of both a good and a bad friend. From what you've said, it seems like she does care about you and doesn't want you out of her life. However, if she ignores you or makes you uncomfortable around other people, that's not a good sign. Why is she "allowed," so to say, to hang out with other people and you can't without her being jealous?

You both need to realize and respect the fact that you both have friends outside of your relationship to each other. Sure, you'll both feel that little bit of jealousy when you see the other hanging out with different people and having fun, but that's natural. Just embrace the time that both of you have with each other. If she continues to make you feel excluded or left out, you just have to be honest with her. Be true to yourself and listen to your heart as you look for words to say to her, and try using "I feel..." statements to help get your emotions across. If she is, in fact, a true friend to you, she will listen, understand, and work to resolve the problem.

Good luck!

Problems with Friends

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Hey there, I'm BriElle! I'm 19, and I'm great at giving advice to other teens! I want to use my experiences with friendships to help YOU with yours! I'm open to all questions about all types of friendship problems, from being left out, to feeling jealous, to trust issues, to peer pressure, and even to building your friendship with your boyfriend/girlfriend! So talk to me and help me to help you! :)


I've experienced feelings of loneliness, jealousy, anger, and pressure with my friends. I've lost friends in the past, and I understand the troubles of maintaining a friendship. However, I know how to be confident and how to distinguish who my real friends are. I love giving advice to my friends about all of there problems!

I'm currently a sophomore in college. I led several retreats in high school, so I understand how to cope with emotions. I also studied psychology for one year.

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