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You are here: Experts > Health/Fitness > Mental Health > Psychiatry & Psychology--General > Family Issue
Expert: Daniel S. Harrop, M.D. - 10/22/2009
Question
I am 16 years old, and my parents and I have not been getting a long for a while now. we got in a huge fight this morning which ended up with me just leaving the house and walking to school. I have a job, i get good grades (except for English) but all they do is point out my negatives. I have a 19 year old boyfriend...which they don't exactly know we're dating....but don't approve at all. which upsets me because lately I'm only happy when I'm around him. being at home is a nightmare, someone is always yelling at someone. i feel very trapped. i try to talk to my guidance counselor, but he just laughs and says things such as "hang in there, kiddo" or "it should get better at home soon". I feel sick when I'm at home, and people are noticing how I'm not as happy as i used to be. I feel very lost and sad, it feels like there is no one to talk to. what should i do?
Answer
Two things: the counselor is right that you have to hang in there -- this is pretty typical of families as teenagers begin to separate and set up their own lives. Of course, you also have to realize your faults in this -- you are not leveling with your parents about the relationship, which they will probably disapprove of, and perhaps for good reasons. I'm sure they sense you are not being open/honest with them, and that is not going to help the situation. If you want to improve the relationship with your parents, then you will have to be open and honest with them, and, yes, that might end the relationship with the boyfriend. Sorry, there is no easy answer here.
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