AboutDaniel S. Harrop, M.D. Expertise I am a Psychiatrist (M.D.), Board Certified in Adult, Geriatric and Forensic Psychiatry, member of the faculty at both the Harvard Medical School and the Brown University School of Medicine.Special expertise in psychopharmacology, forensic (legal) work, individual, group and family psychotherapy and counseling, and utilization review and managed care/quality assurance topics.
Question I have a 4yo who is highly verbal (in both speech and comprehension) and she was, as an only child(unfortunately) a little spoiled. Now we have a two month old. My 4yo is very kind, helpful, enthusiastic, yet she has been displaying anger and temper tantrums when she can't have her way. She is also testing her limits- all the time. It is getting to feel like I am constantly telling her what to do and how to do it and "no, thank you." I'm afraid she is going to feel like she isn't doing anything right, or that she should always do everything perfectly for me. I (consciously) have play time where anything goes so that I don't have to discipline and she is angelic when it is just she and I. How do I know that I'm not going to give her a complex?
Answer As you already know, she is testing her limits. You have to decide on the limits. When she goes over the limits, she is punished. When she is angelic, she is rewarded. It is very difficult to punish a four year old (sending her to her room, restricting toys, restricting play times) but it has to be done if she tests you. You have to remain in control. NOT disciplining her will lead to a complex.
