| |
You are here: Experts > Health/Fitness > Mental Health > Psychiatry & Psychology--General > I can't be faithful...
Expert: Alan Auerbach - 2/1/2010
Question
Hi, my name is grant and almost every girlfriend I have ever had I have cheated on. Well I consider it cheating some people don't. I will talk to other girls online as though I am single, and then once I get them to like me I just kinda stop talking to them. I feel so horrible because I really honestly can't help it. I have just lost the woman of my dreams because of this and I need to find out whats wrong. I talked to my mom (who is divorced from my dad) and come to find out my dad did the exact same thing. I feel broken and gross, the worst part is I don't care anything for these women but I love my S/O to death. Could you please give me some insite?
Answer
I think you already have insight into this, Grant, because you've taken the right steps. You simply learned from your dad, without being aware of it, that you can strengthen your sense of self-worth by getting evidence of your appeal to women other than the one that matters.
When you understand it this way, you will also see how selfish, harmful, and unfair this habit is. You will also understand how misguided it is, in that it's so easy to pretend to be something other than you really are that gathering their interest not in you but in the role you're playing really doesn't make you a better or more important person. And it wastes your time and energy and makes you feel bad.
This understanding should make it easier for you to stop, and I hope it works for you. But if you have a follow-up, please feel free. Meanwhile, thanks for asking us, and the best of luck to you on this.
Alan
Add to this Answer Ask a Question
|
|
