Psychiatry & Psychology--General/mental disorder

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Question
hello Dr. my question is about my brother's wife.they had married about three months ago.after some times of marriage she started very strange behavior.she stated quarrel with us and her parents.she said that she hates her parents.she hates her parental home.she want to live alone.she called us and said that my brother slapped her.her father slapped her.she said that my brother abuses her and talks very harshly.she said that she want to leave my brother  she can't live her any more.
when she said this we thought it can't be true.because we know our brother very well.he is a nice guy.he never can do such a thing.when we asked our brother about this he said that nothing was happened like those things.she thinks in her own mind and thinks that they had actually happened.
she had created such situation many times since her marriage.some times she gets full of anger.some times she behaves normally and talks to us very cutely.that time she behaves like a normal and wise person.when she becomes normal that time she feels guilty for her behavior and says sorry to us.some times she dose not remember what she said to us during her abnormal situation.
her parents took her to a doctor.they said it is depression.
i want to know what is actual problem with her.i don't think these are symptoms of depression.she was a heart patient.a heart operation had done for her treatment.perhaps there was hole in her heart.

Answer
Rohini

Thank you for your thoughtful and heartfelt letter about your brother's, marital problems.  While it is not possible to professionally diagnose a person in this limited forum, I agree with you that the symptoms you have described do not fit the profile of a depressed person and that something else is going on here.

Two things I would suggest are that your brother and his wife seek couples therapy so that they can discuss in an open and objective forum what are the problems in the relationship...even if everything your sister in law says about your brother is not true, his willingness to do this shows that he cares enough about her to give her a chance to speak to what she may see as the real problems in their marriage.

The other thing is that your sister in law receive a thorough psychiatric evaluation from a specialist to find a clearer diagnosis for her and proper treatment, if necessary.

By doing both of these things your family will be saying to her that you care more about her and her life with your brother than just "blaming" her for all of her complaints, which is important to do, even if it is true that she is mostly responsible for them.

Best,

Dr. Andrew Elmore

Psychiatry & Psychology--General

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Andrew M. Elmore, Ph.D.

Expertise

I can answer questions about: Stress. Headaches. Stress-related Disorders. Anxiety/Panic Disorder. Depression. Psychopathology. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. Personal Problem Solving. Life in General. Relationships: Love, Friendship, Business Partner, Coworker, Family,Child/Parent. What makes us tick. The use of psycho-pharmacological agents in combination with psychological treatment. How to deal with evil people in your life. How to improve your outlook under duress. How to control stress. How to control mood. How to control headaches. I cannot answer: Questions about Eating Disorders. Questions about computers.

Experience

30 years in private practice as a psychologist in Manhattan. Dealing with people from almost every conceivable ethnic and socioeconomic backgrounds, and as many character types as exist in this country. Dealing with patients from 8 years old to 90 years old. Pioneer in biofeedback and the treatment of stress-related disorders. Assistant Clinical Professor of Psychiatry at the Mount Sinai School of Medicine since 1982. Treatment of stress-related, anxiety and depressive disorders with biofeedback and cognitive behavioral therapy. Developed personal problem solving, an extremely precise form of psychotherapy. Relationship therapy for couples, families, parent/child issues, business partners, coworkers, employers, and dealing with psychopathic individuals in your life.

Organizations
American Psychological Association. Association for Applied Psychophysiology and Biofeedback. Biofeedback Certification Institute of America. New York Academy of Sciences.

Publications
The journal, Psychophysiology. The book, Expanding Dimensions of Consciousness. The journal, Headache. The journal, Biofeedback and Self-Regulation. The journal Psychiatry Digest. The book, The TMJ Book. The book, Dental Phobia. The network, CNN. Parade Magazine. The newspaper, Newsday. The Manhattan TV station, WCBS. The national news program, The CBS Evening News. The newspaper, The New York Post. The national TV program, The Phil Donohue Show. The magazine, The New Yorker. The magazine, Glamor. The magazine, Redbook. The magazine, Health. The magazine, Bottom Line Personal. Web MD. The website, Healthology. The magazine, Newsweek.

Education/Credentials
Ph.D. SUNY at Stony Brook, 1979. B.A., magna cum laude with Honors in Psychology, Illinois Wesleyan University, 1974.

Awards and Honors
Who’s Who in Medicine and Healthcare, First, Second and Third Editions, 1997-2000. Appointed to the Training Faculty of the Biofeedback Certification Institute of America (BCIA), 1993. Senior Fellow BCIA. New York Academy of Sciences, 1987. Who’s Who in the East, 1983-present. Who’s Who in Frontier Science and Technology, First Edition. Citation Paper Author. Eleventh Annual Meeting of the Biofeedback Society of America, Colorado Springs, Colorado, 1980. Biofeedback Society of America Scholar, 1979. Co-author, USVA Grant, “Variables Affecting the Experience of Pain in Migraine,” USVA Medical Center, Northport, New York, 1977-1979. Biomedical Research Fellow, Department of Biomedical Engineering, SUNY at Stony Brook, Stony Brook, New York, 1978. NIMH Predoctoral Fellowship, 1976. BA, Magna cum laude, with Honors in Psychology, 1974. Danforth Fellowship Nominee, Illinois Wesleyan University, Bloomington, Illinois, 1973.

Past/Present Clients
Most of my clients are my private patients. However I have provided many seminars, lectures and workshops for: Columbia University. The Mount Sinai School of Medicine. The Metropolitan Museum of Art. The Museum of Natural History. The UJA Federation. The university, CW Post. The College of New Rochelle. Equinox Fitness. Travelers Insurance. AutoOne Insurance. Chubb Insurance. Metropolitan Life. Allstate Insurance. State Farm Insurance. Encompass Insurance. The public relations firm, Porter Novelli. The investment firm, Capital Re:. The Estee Lauder corporation. The law firm of Irwin Abrams. The National Insurance Crime Bureau. GEICO Insruance. Beth Israel Hospital.

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