Psychiatry & Psychology--General/venous leak
i got diagnosed with a venous leak and im only 20 years old. Basically, it means i cant maintain an erection because the penis wont hold the blood. This has given me huge depression and anxiety and i hate it. Before i realized i had a venous leak, i was always really funny, outgoing, and happy all the time. however, after this diagnosis, this is all i think about 100 percent of the day. I dont know what to do, what advice do you have besides typical go see a therapist. If i didnt have this diagnosis, i would never be depressed or anyhting, and i feel like i have a lot of potential to be succesful, but these thoughts are holding me back.
Hi, mike. Well, it sounds as though seeing a counselor would be a good idea for you. They can work with you to do some behavioral and mental techniques to help both your physical condition as well as your outlook.
The problem you observe is that it is very difficult to tell someone to 'stop' thinking about something. We often use the 'pink elephant' example - I order you not to think of a pink elephant. Problem is, the minute I say that, the first image in your mind is the pink elephant.
So, trying to stop thinking of something doesn't work very well.
You can try, of course, to focus on other things, or to distract yourself from the thing you keep doing. Sometimes that works, but the brain often seems to know that you are still trying to stop it from doing what it 'wants' to do.
Sometimes you can use 'reverse psychology' on yourself. Give yourself permission to wallow in your misery, to waste your life thinking the same thoughts over and over. But this only works if you really mean it. If you can accept yourself doing these things. If you cannot actually accept this about yourself, it often doesnt work well.
Sometimes you have to accept the fact that you are not perfect, and live your life within that imperfection. Perhaps you cannot accept your imperfection? Are you looking at the glass half empty rather than half full? Does your penis define who you are as a person? Are you nothing except a penis? What advice would you give someone like Christopher Reeves (the actor who played Superman who ended up a quadriplegic)? These are the kinds of questions that a therapist can help you answer.
Sometimes patients come to therapy when they want their circumstances to change. They want the other person in their life to do things differently, or they hope others will stop asking them to pay back the money they borrowed. In therapy, we learn to both accept our circumstances and ourselves, and live the fullest life we can inside these limitations.
Check out the book "if you meet the Bhudda on the road, kill him!"